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Hi,
I think I'm losing my mind. I spot...then stop for hours....then spot....then stop for hours. A tiny steak of red....then brown for the next. Cramping, and tons of lower back pain. I go for my test Friday morning and it seems like an eternity. I had my transfer (3 day five embryos) 8 days ago....been cramping ever since...just a little worse these past few days. Back pain is definately worse. Won't mention the BB's as it's a given.
I would think if it was AF I would have my period as normal....I never have spotting.
This is my first IVF attempt and actually I think I'm a different sort than most. I already have 3 children.
I am doing IVF because my son was recently diagnosed with a very rare blood disease....he no longer makes blood and he needs a bone marrow transplant. My other 2 kids weren't matches and we found an IVF clinic in Chicago that could do PGD and implant matches to save my son's life.
They told us that getting an exact match could take several cycles....my first cycle I only had 7 eggs....disappointing.....of the 7 only 6 were good. By day 3, another was eliminated. By day five I only had 4 blasts.....miracles of miracles, 3 of the 4 matched my son! We implanted all 3 and I swear, I just knew I would become pregnant.
Now that the spotting and cramping has started, I am a bundle of nerves. Time is already running out with my son and the weight of the world is on my shoulders. Everyone is looking for me to save the day and be pregnant. Especially my sick son.
Geez, I'm sorry for venting.....I have cried most of the day and feel so desperate. I have had 3 other pregnancies although they were 12 or more years ago.....I had early cramping with all three.....but no spotting.
I feel guilty being on this site sometimes because I have been blessed with 3 children already and so many of you are trying so hard for your first. I hope you don't think ill of me for being here. I guess I'm here and hope you understand that although this isn't my first, I am desperate, just in a different way.
I'm hanging by a thread and I can't thank all of you enough for just the comments I have read....what an encouraging circle of support.
Thanks for listening and if anyone has had these symptoms after IVF, please, please, let me know.
Baby dust to you all.
Valerie
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Anniekate- thank you for you support and prayers.
valerie- I think it is admirable what you are doing and I tsk tsk at you feeling guilty about being on this site. We are here to support and share our experiences....not judge. You love your family and children and are being unselfish by going through this process to save your son. I would do the same if I was faced with a similar situation. I would give my kidneys or lungs to my family if it meant I could save them. I am sorry I can't offer any info on the symptom side of IVF as I am yet to go down that track, but from what you said it sounds normal.......I take my hat off to you and will say a prayer for you. Good luck valerie and keep us up to date.
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Anniekate, I can't tell you how much better I feel since I read your message. Thanks so much. It will keep me going atleast until tomorrow... Good luck with your pregnancy and hope you are feeling better now with your pain...
Valerie... I am on my frst IVF too and have absolutely no symptoms not even cramps or back aches. Sometimes I wish I did... Because if you read some of the previous messages you will realize that some symptoms especially the ones you are having are good and spotting does not mean anything. May be its just implantation spotting, so don't get discouraged. I would say considering you are a mother of three you are probably very fertile and also you have had three healthy embryos transferred so you have very good chances. So don't stress yourself too much about your symptoms. Good luck and god bless....and hope your son will find a match very soon...
Pady
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Thanks Pady and Eddie for your positive imput.
Pady- to answer one question you asked....I know of a 42 yr old who is in the same circumstances as myself....her child also needs a bone marrow transplant. She transferred one strong embryo and it did not take. She implanted a frozen, very weak embryo and she is now 20 weeks along in her pregnancy!
Both times she transferred one and it was the weaker one that implanted!
Another question.....I've been spotting for 4 days now......constant change of color bet never very heavy. I finally lost my cool and did a home pregnancy test late yesterday afternoon....it showed negative. This was 8 days after transfer and 16 days past the shot.
Do I have any hope? Of course I didn't use the first urine of the day, in fact, I barely had to go when I tested and it was probably the 10th time that day(sounds like I'm trying to talk myself into a weak urine excuse)
My blood test (10 days post IVF transfer) is tomorrow morning. Has anyone ever had a negative HPT and then a positive blood test?
Also...they did not give me exact grades (numbers) on my embryos. At transfer, they said I had one very strong, one strong, and one weak. They gave me a 5% chance of triplets, 30% chance of twins and 50% or better for a singlet.
I've also had a dull headache for over a week.....I am not a headache person.....what's up with that?
My bb's aren't as sore either....and I'm doing the suppository 3 times a day as well as the shot with the harpoon needle once a day
After all that.....anyone with a negative then a positive?
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Valerie,
I also have my blood test tomorrow morning. I have not had any spotting but I have also had the dull headaches, my breasts have become more sore in the past 4 days and on and off cramping. I took a HPT this morning and had a light positive enough to see at an arms length, but I am on day 10 after transfer, so maybe it was to early for you??? I am not believing it because of the hcg shot, but it was 15 days ago so hoping its gone by now!! For some the spotting was a good sign, I hope the same for you! For me the cramping is also a good sign I had them with my son and my ectopic. I really hope you get a BFP tomorrow!!! Good luck
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I feel so much positive vibes coming from everyone, and I hope everyone gets what they are dreaming for, I think it will be a lucky month for all of you.
Valerie, Not for one minute are you being selfish- just the contrary- you are selfless. You and your son will be in my prayers.
Tra
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Well, I got a positive blood test today!!!
I am still spotting and my nerves are shot....especially because my Beta level was so low.
My beta was 16 (doctor said anything 5 and above was a positive)
I have to go back Monday to re-check....they want it at least in the 40's by then
Of course I'm thrilled with the positive results....but the nurse said...you have a positive but...it was the but that did me in. She said 16 is really low. I asked if it could be caused by late implantation and she said yes. I asked if it could be a false positive caused by the drugs and they said no. I asked what else and they said they'd prefer to wait to discuss anything further until Monday's test. Arghh!!
I had my 5 day embryos transferred exactly 10 days ago today.....my transfer was in the afternoon and my blood test was early am this morning.
Once again....I'm happy with the positive but still don't feel confident Anyone else had numbers this low?
Thanks ladies
Valerie
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Valerie, First off congratulatios!!!! When I first read your post I got genuinely excited for you- smiled and got chills. It felt good to truly feel good to hear such great news and not feel 'it's everyone but me' and feel a bit down. I wish us all the good graces from God that has blessed so many of you trying so hard, wanting it, and needing it. It seems a bit harder when pple that you surround yourself w pop up prego-
Tra
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Valerie,
I will really pray that your numbers strengthen to what they need to be. Grace to you!!
anniekate
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Thanks for the prayers and positive words!!
Tra- I can only imagine how you must feel. I really don't have a good comparison because I've not been in your shoes. I have been in similar shoes....just a different style and color. My 12 yr old son needs a sibling bone marrow transplant...he's been healthy his whole life and suddenly developed this life-threatening disease. We are in the hospital alot....Children's Hospital, 9th floor Oncology/Hematology.
My other 2 children didn't match my son....we were devistated. Meanwhile, we have gotten to know several other families with the same or similar diseases...one common thread...all needing bone marrow transplants. I have been thrilled and excited to hear the news when a child in need had their sibling or other close relative be a match. I rejoice for them and then battle the envy and bitterness that threatens me.
In fact, it takes 2 weeks for the blood test to find out if you are a bone marrow match.....these horrible waiting periods always seem to be 2 weeks. We were in the hospital and our roomate also needed a transplant. We were both waiting for the results of our other kids....would they be matches and save our sick children's lives?
The day the Doctor came in and told me my news....bad news....neither of my other 2 children matched my son. I was sitting there crying when my roommate's Doctor came in with great news.....one of her children matched her child.
Not the same as you, but I hope you can appreciate the comparison. This is a much longer "tale" than I intended. I just wanted to tell you that you are a wonderful person. I can tell by your post what a caring and loving heart you have. I know it's hard to hear the good fortune of others and be surrounded by folks who's blessings you would like for yourself. Never, ever beat yourself up.....that's being human. To covet is a sin.....what you feel is not. To covet means you want what someone else has....and for them not to have it. You want what they have.....but you're happy they have it too. There's a big difference.
I spend a lot of time in prayer, and be sure, you Tra, are going to be added to my prayer list. I believe God will bless you......I'm sure sometime soon....it won't be everyone but you.....you will have yours as well.
Valerie
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Valerie, congrats. I am sure your numbers will shoot up by monday...
mine was negative. took the call (siunce I had already missed the message they had left) in the middle of a meeting, don't know how I made it through the rest of the mtg. Going home now...and I am just glad its weekend and I have some time to bounce back to normal life...
Pady
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Valerie, Thank you so much for such kind thoughtful words. I have been following your story and cannot imagine what you are going through. I will keep you and all who go through struggles and adversity in my prayers. All things work out for the best- unexplained or not. I hope you have power in your #s and that power radiates for you, your son, and the new baby to be.
Blue skis to all
Tra
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Valerie, I also got a positive blood test today! My beta was 227 at 11dpt. I actually started spotting last night, very light pink lasted only about an hour, off and on very light, it went away last night and now its back. The nurse says it happens a lot I guess. Still not cool!! My nerves are also shot. I'm telling you this because even with a higher beta you can still have spotting. I feel that I'm causing it due to stress but can't help it!! Your beta can surely increase its still early so try to stay calm and let those embies feel right at home!
My mother works for the National Marrow Donor Program. I have gone to some marrow drives with her and have heard a lot of amazing stories like yours. I pray this works for you! Good luck!!
Jamie
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Pady, I'm sorry, I know exactly how you feel My first IVF didn't work and I was devastated! My first cycle my embryos were poor grades and was so upset, but this time they were very good so don't lose hope!! Best wishes and it will work out for you!!
Jamie
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valerie - that is great news, you will have great numbers on monday.....powers of positive thinking and I will be praying for you.
Jamielee- congrats on your bfp, I can't wait to hear that, hopefully soon.
Pady - sorry about your bfn, jamielee is right don't lose hope.
I had a pretty crazy experience yesterday with a friend of mine going to see a psychic.....(I am skeptical but find it also intriguing) and he mentioned that a friend of hers was having trouble having a baby and desperately wants one and will have twins, a boy and girl, so not identical........leads one to think of IVF. He spoke of no other friends of hers only her family. She immediately thought of me because she knows no one else who is having trouble getting pregnant.
I know it is a long one but I guess false hope is better then no hope. I have booked to see him and he is booked out for 4 months.
Oh he also knew she was pregnant and she is only 5 weeks.........freaky
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Pady, I'm sorry. Keep on trying and soon it will be you posting the good news.
Jaimielee: Congratulations!! I had a good feeling you would be positive. I'm actually feeling much better....emotionally not physically. My beta is low but I'm confident it will soar on Monday. I have been praying a lot and I feel that God is using my circumstances to draw me closer to Him....and to knock me to my knees in prayer!! I need to trust Him.
When I pray, I have to pray with confidence....confident that God will answer. Not this wishy-washy "hey God, I know you're there, could you do this for me, if not, I understand"
Course that's not exactly how I prayed but I prayed with low expectations.
Still wouldn't hurt to hear from someone else with low beta numbers at 10 days that ended up with good news.
That's neat that your Mom is involved with the National Donor Registry....in fact....we have a bone marrow drive today from 11:00 - 4:00. Hoping to find matches for 4 kids (mine included) We would just like to have a match for a back up in case his disease doesn't allow him to wait for this sibling in my belly to be born!!
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