Ok, man this is a big effort for me but here I go ... Ladies I have azoospermia, zero count. And here is my effort to share and help?, such that you may help me.
Bio = 40yrs, married 5, wife is AWESOME, outdoor type, Christian / follower of Christ. My wife, we, had our first IUI two weeks ago ... in crushed me! I cryed like I never cried, on the way to the docs office. I never said no. I am usually good at expressing my feelings and am medium at sharing emotions but this has crushed me. See my wife is only second to Christ. I work to make her happy, be her loving man, and protect her. Now I must forewarn, don't jump in your husbands face after you read this, it will take some more discussion and I can only share how I feel. Your husband may not feel the same way. Men are soon hard headed ... he needs to talk to a Pastor or senior mentor, someone he holds respect for ... focus on separating pride/pitty from the real hurt. While I have all the symptoms of your DH's, I struggle to share, very reserved, as not to hurt my wife = pulling away from my wife. I'm angry! I'm Hurt. This is worse that a death in the respect that everyone shares in the death, the loss, and grief. Now, I know you suffer from his infertility, you hurt, and you are doing the IUI! Worse than death, yes, because, hmmm, because 1. I can not give my wife that precious baby. 2. While we have a child, AND I WILL LOVE THAT CHILD = wife now #3 ...hee,hee, just kidding. Second to Christ is wife now becomes 'relationship!' ... I will never have the joy of my biological child, hold on that is not being self-centered, it is just, just a desire a dream I have had, that God gave me at birth that I desire/want , its a want that is so deep in my soul. Now it is a loss! ok ... soon now all the rest(IUI, another mans child, bla,bla) just becomes parts of a pitty party that I want no part in ... to deal with that i pull away, as I do not want to tell my wife, are you crazy! it is for 'better or worse', I cant thus you cant! NO, I like your husbands said yes and it hurts. You did not hurt me. More later----