What do you think?
6 Replies
justme - July 10

I am struggling with the decision to push forward for baby number three. Would you do IVF again a 2nd time for a 3rd baby? Am I pushing it too far when I have 2 healthy children already? the first was conceived naturally. Just looking for opinions. Thanks

 

HeatherMac - July 10


Hey Justme!

Here's my humble opinion on the matter.

If you were not an infertile, would having a third baby even be an issue? Sure, you may decide whether or not to try, but would you feel the guilt if you never had fertility issues?? No. No one would. There's never enough time or money for a baby, let alone second, third and fourth children...so if you were not infertile, would you ponder this much over a third baby? Chances are you would not, and chances are people have told you that you should be satisfied with the family you have. But, I say hooey on them. My DH and I wanted four children, and because of the infertility that was diagnosed so late, we'll be tremendously blessed to have two happy, healthy babies. But, I will always mourn the family that I was robbed of. Sure, I will always be happy with my family, whatever that ends up being, but in the back of my mind, I will always wonder what Christmas morning would have been like with four wild and crazy kids screaming down the stairs, or what their lives would have been like as adults with three siblings for each of them to lean on...and had we not had fertility issues, I would know.

And to anyone that says you should be happy with what you've got, they have obviously never struggled to have a child as we have, and that is not something they are qualified to comment on...no one has the right to tell you how you should feel about anything, even if they have experience with your life's circumstances. The only people that can determine if you should spend the money and time for BB3 is you and your husband. If it feels right and it's something you want to do, then by all means, do it!! If it's no something you feel strongly about in your heart, then maybe it isn't the best option.

Whatever you decide, it will not be an overnight decision. It's something that will come to you after much thought and debate. Keep it in your mind and give yourself a few months to think about it and talk it over. Go over the figures and what it all means to you, DH, your children and your lives...and your heart will tell you what you should do. Only you and DH can decide what is right and best for you, regardless of how many "well meaning" people try to tell you otherwise.

I know it's a difficult decision, but remember: if you weren't infertile, you would not have one spec of guilt about trying to have another baby, regardless of how many you have at home.

Please keep us posted and best of luck with your decision!!


HeatherMac

 

JaneX - July 11

No way are you pushing it too far - go for it I say! And don't wait too long - the younger you are with IVF the better. I would not give it another thought and would just go ahead.

Good luck.

Jane

 

justme - July 11

Heathermac, Thank you so much for your response. It really means a lot to me. I think if the infertility wasn't an issue, I wouldn't be having second thoughts. Your words ring so true.

JaneX- thank you too. Sometimes I just need some encouragement from women who know what I am going through.

My DH could take it or leave it. He will do IVF again for me. He said he doesn't feel it is his right to keep me from having a 3rd child and he knows he will love and adore that baby regardless.

Thanks a million,
Justme

 

wantsbabytoo - July 11

Hi Justme!
It's been awhile! I used to post under Wantsbaby2, and then something happened and I couldn't log on under that name anymore. I don't know if you remember me.

It's great to hear from you! I say go for it! It amazes me how people have so many opinions about infertility when they have never experienced it. You do whatever you feel like doing.... and we will be here cheering you on! Like HeatherMac says "Hooey on everyone else!"

Keep us posted on your progress!
Many hugs and prayers,
Laura

 

justme - July 12

Hi Laura! I remember you!!!! ;D Thanks for your support. We have been trying naturally for several months now, but nothing. We will probably make a decision before the year is up whether or not to move forward with IVF again. keep praying for me!!!!!!!

Justme

 

baby4us - July 19

For sure go for it!!!! Heathermak has such great advice.. it is true.. would you even be contemplating this without IVF? So go for it.. you will do just great!!!!!!!

I am contemplating baby # 2.. as many o fyou know I had terrible PPD with Annabel.. and it wasnt until about 9 months that I started to feel like I could cope again... so I am afraid to go through it all over again.. but then again... would I NOT want to go through it seeing as Annabel is the joy of our l ives???

 

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