sharedjourney home

Cassandra,

Yeah, it feels a little weird to post upstairs...it seems so strange to say to women still struggling to keep the faith when I'm already pregnant...I feel like I'm flaunting it. I'm not, and I've NEVER been made to feel like I have, but it just feels strange. And, sometimes, too, I'm just so dang tired that I do well to check the latest postings I'm watching...I came home from the grocery the other day and was too tired to get out of the car...so I called my husband to come help me!! Between being sick and so very tired, it's hard to keep up on all the posting I used to do.

But, by the same token, I really want women who are still suffering to see that hope and faith will pay off...and pregnancy IS possible! I'm actually working to start an infertility support group here in town because of the inspiration of THIS VERY WEBSITE! I could not have made it through my journey without this site. I want to help other women and men who are struggling to make it through their journey, too. Infertility even made the front page of our big paper here Sunday...so, I know that there are people who need the support and love of others who understand the horrible journey of infertility. I'm going to wait until after the baby is born to start the group, because I think that would just be rude, but I will come here asking for help and ideas of what to put together.

Cassandra, I truly wish you all the very best in your pregnancy and hope that you are progressing along just beautifully. PLEASE keep us posted as to how you're doing and how you're feeling and every u/s and all that good stuff!!

Samantha - You are SO kind...thank you for your kind words. I read them and applied them to all of us on this side of things, so thanks. Sometimes it does feel weird to post upstairs. I wish you the best in your journey and hope you know I pray for you daily. I pray for every woman on these boards every day and take communion every Sunday for those who are still struggling, and those fostering pregnancy after their struggle.

Ladies, thank you for all you do for me...each of you makes this portion of my life far more tolerable. Love to you all.


HeatherMac

Reply

Thanks for your beautiful reply heathermac. It really helped. I understand the tiredness! I get sooo tired now. This past weekend I worked outside with dh. By 7 pm I am dead. My sister in law called me to go to the movies but I was too tired. She has 3 kids so I think she remembers being pregnant. Well ,I have started to feel funky now. Slight nausea in the morning and at night. Do you work full time? I do and the long shifts are tiring me out. At the end of mine last night, I had to put my head down! I guess they say this will pass by the 2nd tri. I am feeling more confident now that I have been feeling sick.Only 5 more days to u/s. I can't belive that time DOES go by!Talk to you later...cassandra

Reply

Please Heathermac don't you ever think that we don't appreciate your experiences , you give us all great hopes that we too can reach our goals. I delight in hearing how well you are doing and that I can share in some of your joys, the pregnant women on this web site are my inspiration and drive since I know that anything is possible. You know how hard infertility is and you need to understand that those of us left still waiting want to share your joys as we wait to have ours. Please don't leave us in the dark... sharing your happiness makes the journey easier to deal with.

Lynne

Reply

Heathermac & Cassandra, please don't feel like you are throwing your success in our faces. Believe us when we tell you...you are are inspiritation!! We need to share in the joys are you b/w and u/s. We want to hear about the tirdeness and swollen tummies, becasue we know you guys have been where we are. I'm a very spiritual person and just hearing about the support group Heathermac is thinking about starting...tells me you guys are meant to stick around...you serve a purpose here...please don't feel bad...we guys upstairs need you. O.k. that's enough...I'm starting to cry...just wanted to add my 2 cents.

Reply

Hi ladies
I had to pipe in myself. I hope that's ok. I think hearing of the joys and successes of infertile women keeps everyone going. If everyone on this site had BFN's all the time, I don't think I would be able to visit as often as it would depress me!

Also, even though you are pg, you are still infertile women. You just were blessed to finally overcome it and get pg. I had my miracle 7 years ago and yet, here I am going for number 2, still as part of an infertile couple.

I guess my point is, you are still one of us and shouldn't feel unwanted or out of place. This site is called Shared Journey. Pregnancy is a big part of the infertile journey. After all, that's the goal! As we saw from Cassandra and also it was the case with me, the pain of infertility can last long after pregnancy happens and causes fear and worry.

We are all sisters in this and in my opinion, support doesn't end just because of a success.

Take care and I can't wait to hear more news!

Meridith

Reply

We ARE all just a big family here! We love hearing all the joys of pregnancy. It's how we can all learn from each other. We are all here for support in the bad times and celebration in the good times. And there are more good times to be had girls!

I know the last 3 months that I have been posting on this site have been wonderful! You ladies are the best! I feel I have found a group of really great new friends......friends who understand. We you girls turn up pregnant we are OVERJOYED! I have actually gotten up and done little happy dances over your pregnancies! :P It's fun to see success along this horrible journey. You give us all hope (and sanity)

Don't ever feel that you can't put in your two cents upstairs you silly girls! ;)

Wantsbaby2

Reply

Thank you ladies, I'll do just that! Heathermac, what a terrific idea! Let me know how you go about starting that!
I have a question Heathermac, I have an upcoming u/s on Mon. and wondering(if everything is ok) after that when is the next and when are you discharged to an OB.? cassandra

Reply

Cassandra
In case heathermac doesn't check the posts before your Monday appointment, I can tell you the answer to your question...if all is well, you should have only 1 u/s. If you have more than 1 baby in there, it may be more. OB's wont see any pg patients untill 8 weeks along so usually, you have the u/s at 7 weeks, and see the OB at 8 weeks. Time varies a bit but that's usually how it's done.
Let us know how the u/s goes!

Meridith

Reply

Cassandra,

I was released as soon as my RE saw the heartbeat...which put me right at 7.5 weeks. He released me to my OB and suggested I see him at 10 weeks. My friend who had IVF the same day I had my IUI and is also pregnant had the same thing...released at 7 weeks and suggested to see OB at 10 weeks. That's sadly how they do things...most OB appointments aren't schedule before 10 weeks, and I think that is a shame. I have a friend who is pregnant with her third and concerned, and they still scheduled her for 10 weeks. That is the "industry standard" and I think women need to be upset about it...by 10 weeks, everything's done! You need help and care in those 10 weeks to make sure everything develops smoothly!!

Anyway, before you are released, your RE will go over ALL KINDS of information with you...what to eat, what not to eat, when to be concerned, when not to worry...it's all good and VERY IMPORTANT information.

Before I was released, I had two u/s...one just after we got the BFP, then one at 7 weeks...then I sat down with one of the nurses at that last appointment for an hour and was given the pregnancy boot camp information. Like I said, my IVF friend's experience was exactly the same, and she was at a clinic across town.

So, let us know how it goes Monday...how far along are you? If this is really early on, you might only see a little marble-like sphere, but that is a WONDERFUL sight!! Then, just a few weeks later, you'll see a tiny little baby with a VERY quickly beating heart!!

Have a great weekend and a GREAT day Monday and let us know how it goes!!


HeatherMac

Reply

Wow, 10 weeks seems so late. It was 8 weeks for me. 10 weeks isn't industry standard here, it is 8 weeks. Maybe it depends on where you live. Also, my RE went over nothing with me. Saved it for the OB. lol Goes to show you that it's different for everyone.

Meridith

Reply

Meridith,

I'm glad you got in early...I guess it is regional...no OB here will see you before 10 weeks...and I think it's a crock. I've been reading up and many in surrounding states consider that the starting point, too, so I really wish more doctors were on board with seeing OB patients before 10 weeks like yours!!

There was a huge article in Newsweek about the lack of OB care early in pregnancy...so it's nice to see people actually paying attention.

Reply

Okay, wait...let's get a check here...Cassandra...how far along are you?? I can't remember all this anymore...I have no idea how far along Darby is, either...has anyone talked to her in a while?? I used to be able to keep everything straight, and now I can't.

I'm just glad to have the support of these boards...you ladies totally rock!

You know, I pray for every single woman on these boards every day. This is the hardest single thing I have ever been through, and I know that each of us on these boards have suffer and still suffer far more than anyone could imagine. I never knew anyone who suffered from infertility, and I could not understand how all consuming it was...once DH & I began our battle, our friends could not relate - it's like trying to describe a color you've never seen before. There was actually an ENORMOUS articl on the front page of the Sunday paper here about the "$10,000 Baby" and what people are willing to sacrifice to have a child. The bad part is it never went into the mental anguish, just what people are willing to sacrifice to have a child. I guess people just see us as zealots willing to sell everything we have to get pregnant.

People always made the most rude and insensitive comments when we were going through our fertility treatments and all the surgeries...and oddly, it doesn't stop now! I am amazed that people don't get that just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I instantly forgot my struggle with infertility. My husband and I are very lucky, I know that, we both know that. I also know I won't be going through this again, so we're making plans now to adopt a child two years after the baby is born. That presents a whole host of other issues, I know...nearly as many as the infertility battle...and it amazes me how people are so cavalier about it all.

My hope is that everyone on these boards will win their battle and be able to celebrate the victories together.

THANK YOU for all each of you ladies does for me...


HeatherMac

Reply

Monday will be exactly a month since my transfer, so I guess I won't be seeing a heartbeat then eh? I just realized this now.A sphere you say? I'll look up the pictures of what it should look like in pg.com. You sound like a wonderful woman heather and I will try to look at the glass half full! :)
I guess they will probably have me back for another u/s at 7 weeks.After my last dissapointment in Jan. I started looking for support and I sure found it! Thank you everyone for your information, advice, thoughts,caring and genuine friendship. I couldn't have gone this far without you without losing my mind!
I am expecting a good visit with the u/s machine tomorrow, but if something does go wrong, I know I can count on you ladies to help me through it.
Take care everyone...cassandra

Reply

Cassandra,

Well, I wouldn't say I'm wonderful...I'm human, remember??

Yeah, sorry, no heartbeat yet. Here's a link to what the yolk sac looks like...it's twins, but you'll get the idea:

http://pregnancy.about.com/cs/p
regnancycalendar/l/blweek5.htm

I
don't know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't that...I never in a million years imagined they could see something quite so small! But, it was the best sight I ever saw - until I saw the heartbeat just two weeks later! I was stunned that everything falls into place so quickly - it is truly an amazing thing to be able to witness, and a wonderful gift from God. I mean really, you see this little yolk sac then two weeks later is a little c shaped embryo with a heart beating faster than anything you've ever seen! It's amazing. Though, the whole "yolk sac" terminology makes me feel a little weird...maybe like a chicken...but, there are a lot of horrible pregnancy terms that make you feel not so great...if you're over 35 you're "advanced maternal age" and there is one more technical moniker that makes your age sound even worse!! I guess they'll put Geritol in the pitocin drip when you get to the hospital if you're over 35.

I went for my first OB appointment Friday and he told me I won't get another u/s until week 20, so I'm bummed...but I have two friends that didn't have their FIRST u/s until week 26! So, I guess I can't complain about week 20. Though I did read somewhere on the boards that you'll hear the heartbeat at every OB appointment, so that is really cool!

I hope it goes really great tomorrow and I hope you just love your miraculous little yolk sac!!


HeatherMac

Reply