Still very depressed
148 Replies
Slatka - August 2

Hey Liz, Lila, Aimee --

I'm lazily planning dinner, something that does not involve actually heating, cooking, boiling. Perhaps salad! Yes, salad it is.

To clarify re: neighbors -- "vomit Woman" has bulimia (we believe). She's been steadily vomiting for 2 and a half years now. At first I thought she was pregnant, but no. She is about 40-ish, but looks much older. Thin, haggard-looking. She keeps to herself; if I knew her, I might say something, try to intervene. We live on the second (top) floor and so we have two downstairs neighbors the way the apts. are arranged. It's strange how intimately we know our neighbors lives without really knowing them, especially in an apartment building. We hear them, smell what they are cooking, know when they get home and leave in the night, yet only say a brief 'hello' in the hallway.

Lila -- hope by now (end of the day) they were able to get you on the schedule for surgery. I,too, am a planner and feel disoriented and upset when things are up in the air. I wish I were more spontaneous, but I'm not. Especially with this, I can understand you wanting to know what's going on the next few weeks.

And Aimee - I hope that yesterday was Day 1. After my m/c, it was 28 days to the second that I got my first period and it was relatively heavy. This was unusual for me. All I am saying is that it is "normal" for your first period to be different: short, light, heavy, take 40 days to appear, whatever. Just go with what the nurse recommends -- in the end, they know what to do.

I am entering the waiting game now. Of course I feel like I haven't done enough (meaning, haven't had sex enough! But we have. It's the over-achiever, hyper-organizer in me who wants some kind of statistical perfection with the timing of intercourse! Luckily, the ovulation period is only a few days or you can imagine what fun I would be for weeks at a time! And I'm one of those who stays lying down for the recommended hour post-intercourse. So I feel like an invalid who secretly suspects that lying down makes not a damn bit of difference. ) We shall see in a few weeks.

I have to say, thank you all for your support and congratulations on the house. I am getting tentatively more excited with each day. We just need to make sure the appraisal goes our way, and then we are really set. I handed in our 30 day notice today -- our landlord was wonderful and made an arrangement that, if the closing moves or falls through, we can rescind our notice and remain in the apt. I was so so relieved! So again, thank you so much! Your excitement stokes mine and it is nice to have the encouragement.

Have a good evening in front of the a/c and I will talk to you all very soon.



Aimee37 - August 3

Hi Slatka ;D Well I think this is the last hot day they are calling for before it cools down a tad. I ran 7 miles this morning and was soaked. Not much of a sweater but when it is this humid it's a different story.

Wow...your lower neighbor sounds like she really needs help if she does indeed had an Eating Disorder. :-[ That is quite sad, you never know what her life was like growing up. She is probably self medicating herself. I live in a condo unit and I am on the middle floor (4 apt's.) on each floor. There is an alcoholic dude on the bottom floor. He is always bringing in booze and carrying bags of bottles to the trash. He has approached me several times drunk. He drinks on the porch all the time. He must of had 10 jobs in 2 years. Sad... We all creatures of habit, some more extreme than the rest unfortunately.

I really do hope you get pregnant naturally Slatka! :) Than you can avoid trips to the RE's office and will not have to deal with "life in the stirrups". ;)

You sound like me....planner, over achiever and perfectionism! lol! I think it goes hand in hand with our anxieties/worries.

I hope the appraisal on your house goes smoothly and everything goes your way! Fingers crossed!

I just called my nurse and she spoke to my Dr. and she wants me to come in for a blood test tmoorrow morning. If my progesterone is at the low level than that means I ovulated and that was period, but it needs to be between 3.0-4.0 or something like that. I will know tomorrow if I start the pills on Sunday or not. I pray that it is low enough so that I can start my cycle.

Well, I have to get ready for work now. I hope you have a great day!!!

Talk to you laters. :)


Lila - August 3

Aimee: I was reading back over old posts on this thread and was wondering where you were on the 3 vs 5 day transfer for your Sept. cycle? It looked like you were thinking about asking for the 5 day is that still the case?

I have not yet had any of those conversations with my RE but considering my age I certainly would like to push for that 5 day even on my first try. I realize it could be very disappointing to go through most of the IVF process and then be told there was nothing to transfer; however, I know that for me this is the better option. I really would rather know, if they are going to be transferred, that they were capable of all the development necessary to get to that blast stage. Again because of my age, I am extremely scared of chromosomal abnormalities and if they can not make it to blast I would rather find that out in a Petri dish than after another tortuous 2WW or worse after a BFP that does not progress to a healthy live birth.

OK also in reviewing old posts I saw your website – I can not believe you do not have guys from all over the world calling you to ask you out on a date! I think I would kill for legs like yours. (OK I am not sure that came out right I just meant you may be crazy to run in this heat but at least it has its rewards for muscle definition like that).

This may be a stupid question but what is a farmette, small farm? Do you ride as well? I ask as I grew up riding in Potomac. I did a little dressage for Pony Club but mostly I did Hunter/Jumpers. I have not ridden since I moved back to DC in 1992 and I really miss it but it is just too expensive. My DH was actually really sweet when after all the IUIs did not work and I was very hesitant to move on to the IVF (fear of more failure) so he said that if I tried and it did not work then he would help me to start riding again. Kind of felt like a 4 year old being promised a pony if I was a good girl but I know he was just trying to think of something positive I could throw myself into if this all did not have a happy ending.

Your Shelties are really cute but I can understand why with all that hair they are not so fond of going outside given our current temps. My dog has very short hair, her breed is originally from Africa and she won’t stay out longer than 10 minutes in this heat.

Funny you mention the needlepoint. I have not done that since I was a teenager but just yesterday I was thinking of going to the store to get back into it. I figure with all the waiting involved in my life right now I need more hobbies to help pass the time and I really used to enjoy that. I just am not sure how much I remember of it.

By the way I know I am a year older but I am also an Aries we are just 8 days apart – I am March 30th.

OK I really am late for work so I will chat with everyone else later. Hopefully by then Verizon will have figured out how to reconnect Liz so she can join us back here in the evenings.


Lila - August 3

Oh and by the way I am a complete idiot. I seem to have gotten the Diet Coke monkey off my back but I think I may have just traded it in for the green tea model and I did not realize Green Tea had caffeine. Considering I only drank caffeine free sodas I basically have just realized that now post switch I have been consuming mass quantities of caffeine. I have been drinking several large glasses of iced green tea, in addition to my minimum 64 oz of water (yes I know I drink a lot) and to boot I was drinking most of that at night. For the last two nights I have been up till 4am and have had pounding headaches yet I was still too dense to put two and two together. I told you not in touch with by body but I did not realize I could be that dense about it. Caffeine was not a listed ingredient on what I was drinking so I just thought it was fine I forgot if it is naturally occurring it does not need to be listed. To boot I went to Whole Foods this past weekend and spent a small fortune stocking up on different green teas – if I minimize my green tea to once in the AM I will still have enough to last me till the end of this decade. So my thoughts are now that I may become a crystal light girl (that has Splenda right?) Oh well as I keep saying maybe this whole thing will finally teach me to start really thinking about what exactly I am putting in my body – live and learn.


Aimee37 - August 3

Hi Lila :)

Ok, about the 3 day vs. 5 day transfer. This all boils down to how many eggs you have after your egg retrieval and how good they are looking the day after your ER. I REALLY wanted a 5 day transfer because when they reach the blastocyst stage they have more stem cells and are ready to hatch and attach to the unterine lining. When you have 3 day embryos (8 cells being the best) they are weaker compared to the blasts. With normal conception, day 3 embryos are in the fallopian tube. Many Dr.s want to transfer these on day 3 for fear that they will not make it to day 5. This leaves the patient for more fear of failure. Mostly likely these embies are not genetically capable of growing. This was the case with me. I hope this was the case and that there is nothing wrong with me and to why they did not implant. My RE thinks there is nothing wrong with me and will not take the tests now to find out. I had two 8 celled embies transferred on day 3. If your fertilization report is good (or have a good number of embryos) and they are growing nicely, most likely they will go for a 5 day transfer. Many women get pregnant on day 3 tranfers because it is all a chance wether the embies will continue to grow or not. I think only 50% of embryos are capable of implanting. Some clinics transfer on day 2 and I know of a woman who just got a BFP. It's all a risk. My RE will only tranfer 2 embies at a time, my clinic frowns upon multiples. If you are concerned about chromosonal abnormalties, you might want to ask your RE if you can have PGD testing on your embies, this way you can weed out the bad ones and you will have a better chance at getting pregnant. I have thought abotu this but my RE thinks it is not necessary. ugh.... I think the cost for PGD testing on the embryos is $2k more. You are Lila!! Anyway, I hope this helped? Let me know if you have more questions, I wil be happy to answer them for you. :)

Thanks so much for your kind comments!!! I am still single, unfortunately. :( I think that I just do not get out enough. I am a volunteer EMT/Fire Fighter as well and it takes up all my free time. No time to socailize. All the fire fighters/Paramedics are married at my station. ugh!!! lol! I have gone out on many dates and talk about dates from hell!! I met these guys on Scary!!!! I was stalked by 2 and had some very scary situations! I gave up on on-line dating. Now that I am TTC I have put dating on hold. I have had some offers to go out but declined them because I would feel badly if I told them what my plans are right now. I think they would run. lol!

Yes, a farmette is like a small farm. My mom has increased her land now and has a being piece of land for her 10 horses. I do ride but not as much as I would like. She lives in Clifton. My half sister (her daughter) is almost professional. She is going to start college at VA Tech and will be bringing her horse out there to ride. That is great that you used to belong to a pony club and will possible get back into it. It is very costly!!!

Yup, my Shelties hate this weather! Trapper has the biggest fur coat! He almost looks fat but he is really lean underneath all the fur! Looks like a chiapet! lol!! My neighbors told me I should shave him. NOT!!! lol!! I am sure your dog can tolerate the heat alot better with his shorter coat.

Needlepoint is great, it helps calm me down and I think clearer. Very therapuetical for me. I love Michael's Art store, a block from my condo. I like the feeling that I am making progress. Satisfaction guarenteed. :)

Wow you are an Airies too eh? :) Alot of good things to be said about Aires!!

Oh you are too funny. Green tea is good for you by the way. I heard it is good for fertility. The caffeine maybe not but just a little is ok. I think there is some green tea out there with no caffiene? I dunno..I am not a tea drinker. I love my coffee from Dunkin Donuts in the a.m., which I will not give up!! :)

Well, I hope you have an enjoyable day at work! Stay cool! Tomorrow and this weekend it is supossed to be a tad cooler!

Talk to you laters...
Aimee :)


liz - August 3

Hi Aimee, Slatka and Lila -

How are you all doing today? I am good except my phone is back but now by dsl is out. ughh Verizon is on my shit list right now. Hopefully it will be back up soon, I really miss alot from afternoon to morning. haha

Lila -
You make me laugh! There is green tea without caffeine. If it does not say "decafinated" it has caffeine in it. Don't feel bad, I didn't realize this at first until I really thought about it, all tea has caffeine in it unless it is specially made decaf. There are a lot of decaf brands out there. I keep trying different ones when I go to the store, they all pretty much taste the same to me. Do you like the taste? It is different, I was always a big ice tea drinker, love it and getting used to the taste of green tea was definatly different. I sometimes sweeten mine with honey and splenda.
I myself get very tired of drinking water. I get bored with it. I drink sugar free CoolAide sometimes and also Crystal Light no sugar. It gives me a little variety, I do also have some sweetened Green Tea a few times a week.
You are not an idiot, you are just learning like all of us.
I know what you mean about sharing your feelings here. For some reason I feel very secure here, I can really express myself, how I am feeling, what this does to me, how hard it is etc etc. I was never able to be so open with others. I think it makes it easier knowing that you are sharing your feelings with women who really can relate to what you are feeling in many ways. We are all in different stages in our journey but we are all trying for the same thing.
How did you make out with the doc? Is your appt set? Hang in there ok!?

Aimee -
Hows it going with good old af? Good luck tomorrow when you talk to the re. I am keeping my fingers crossed you will begin your bcp's on Sat. (I think that is your scheduled date to begin.)
I brought my house colors to work and asked opinions. It helped me, actually the only one I was having trouble with was the siding color. The color I picked was also the one everyone else picked (and I didn't tell them that was my choice too till after). So it looks like hubby won't be building me a pink and purple house. lol
Frank and I are just so busy right now with the house, I can not believe it is only 2 weeks till ground breaking. This past year of planning has gone by so fast and still so much to do. Oh, well it is an awesome time, I am trying to relax and enjoy it too.

I must get back to work, I will chat with you all later. Take care


Lila - August 3

I am not quite sure what happened today I think I sat down at my computer to invoice clients and do some purchase orders but somehow none of that seemed to happen. Where did the day go? I did however seem to get lots of good research done on all this IVF stuff so that is at least a positive.

Liz I am so glad that Verizon has finally remembered how to fix a phone line – interesting how they first fix what might make them more profits – but I am sure your DSL is not far behind. If not I do not see what the problem is with your spending the day at work chatting with all of us, all those nice people will understand that that is much more important than their silly old paycheck. Glad you were able to reach a consensus on the exterior colors; although to get an absolute majority like you did I suspect you might have been lording you payroll powers over their heads. Just kidding, it sounds like you are really making progress. I saw on the other thread that you have grand plans for the kitchen. Care to share what you have up your sleeve? When we remodeled we reused the existing cabinets to save money and I just had them painted so our big splurge was bringing gas into the house so that we could have a nice big 36” professional range. Paul, my DH, is an amazing cook and while the kitchen was a little over budget all the great meals he has made have been more than worth it. He grew up in a large Italian family and it is amazing how effortless it is for him to whip up a gourmet extravaganza. If I could offer you a little advice on the master bathroom I would definitely go with the tile idea rather than the all in one self enclosed shower. The tile will give you a better more polished look and honestly the other can get scratched quite easily and even crack and then it just looks old and worn way to early.

Aimee: Good luck tomorrow at the DR appointment hope they give you nothing but positive news. Sorry to hear about the bad online dating experiences. On paper it seems like such a great idea, that you could really be matched to someone totally compatible with you, but anyone I know who has tried it has had similar scary experiences. I actually met my DH on a blind date set up by mutual friends. I realized that I was not doing so hot in picking boyfriends out for myself so why not just give that responsibility over to someone else…and the rest as they say is history. At the time I actually was thinking I would take a break from the whole dating thing, as I had just been badly burned by another guy, so I almost did not go out that night. Liz and Slatka how did you all meet Frank and Sonny? Any good stories you want to share. I hesitate to say this since we all hate to hear witty things with regard to TTC like just relax and it will happen but the old saying that you will meet Mr. Right when you least expect it was absolutely true for me. You never know when he might just walk into that firehouse, but I do totally understand your desire to focus on things other that dating right.

Slatka I think you have now entered your “luteal phase” so I am keeping fingers crossed that this time it minds its manners and sticks to the desired schedule, I know you have a zillion things to do but remember to not over do it in this heat with all your preparations in case you already are PG. With regard to the worries over if you have had enough sex – are you sure your DH is not playing subliminal tapes while you sleep? I guess that is one good side effect of the TTC – you always hear how people complain that when they get to their 30s they just do not have sex like they used to – no time, no energy…well nobody on this board can complain about their lack of a sex life. And considering all the “practicing” we have to do I’m guessing that we are all probably a lot better than average in this department, and considering how clinical it can get with all the timing we are also probably a lot more creative. OK I just realized I am discussing sex with people I have never actually met – really sorry if that was too personal or too Sex in the City. I did not mean to offend anyone. Guess I have just gotten so comfortable with you all that I feel like I am just chatting with my girlfriends.

Better go while I only have one foot in my mouth. Hope everyone has a good night tonight and as for me I am hoping for a good nights sleep tonight as I have not had any green tea since 11am.


liz - August 3

Good evening ladies -

My dsl is still not up, the lastest is 24 to 48 hours. So I am using good old dial up to be able to check in. :) Hopefully by the weekend I will be up and operating with my dsl again. Aparently when they fixed the phone line they forgot to reconnect the dsl line. Go figure.

Lila -
You make me smile girl. You posts are so funny sometimes, and yes this is a very good thing.
Thanks for your advice on the shower. I always wanted tile, but dh thought I would go crazy trying to keep it clean. (I am bit of a nut with cleaning). I definatly think after pricing the stall I will re-evaluate the tile. I just can't justify paying that much for a stall when I could have tile for the same price or maybe less. ???
I love your kitchen job, that is great. As for me. My kitchen is 18x12, so it is quite large. I also have 5x4 island with a sink and garbage disposal. I am planning on a double oven and a 42" stove top. I fell in love with the 42" downdraft with 4 burners and a grill where the other 2 burners would be. Lots of cabinets. I wanted to make sure I had storage and I sure do. Any good ideas you may have for me? I love advice and opinions!

Glad to see you got some research done on IVF. I am the same way I sit down to do some work and then end up "researching" or chatting. Oh, well I guess I could have a worse habit! :)

Do you have a date yet for you surgery?

How I met Frank...... I began working as an office manager at a local small airport. Frank worked at one of the other businesses as an aircraft mechanic. I was always attracted to him, however he was married and that was a forbidden for me. I could never and would never mess with that one. So after years of "knowing" him and seeing him around (we have many of the same mutual friends) his wife left him and well the next thing you know we were dating and 2 1/2 years later we got married. We got engaged 8/7/05 (propossed while we were camping at our favorite lake), we were married 10/29/05. No special reason for the fast marriage except we were ready and didn't want to have a big wedding. We had a very intimate wedding an reception with family and close friends, only about 30 guests. It was the most beautiful and happy day of my life. Thats about it there, just happily married to the man of my dreams.
Thats great you met you dh on a blind date!

I best be going for now.
I will talk to you soon.


Aimee37 - August 4

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!! Thank golly it is here!!! :) What a stressful work week it has been for me!!!

OK, GOOD NEWS! My nurse just called me and my progesterone was really low so I am starting BCP's on Sunday! ONWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) YES! I am glad because I want to know where things stand as far as planning is concerned. I just hope now that my body cooperates. :) My nurse was really sweet, she gave me tons of gonal F! That will save me major buckaroos! I think she feels badly for my early m/c I had. But that was awfully SWEET of her! I just wanted to hug her!!! What a happy Friday it truely is for me!

Lila- WOW you met your DH on a blind date? Amazing and it worked!! :) That's really wonderfully! Blind dates are awful, from my experience. I hope I meet Mr. Right when I least expect it. I have turned down many dates lately due to TTC. It is just wrong to date and TTC at the same time, not fair for the guy. I would fel like I am wasting his time.

I think that is great that you are researching IVF. I do alot of that. I can google to the cows come home. lol! Sometimes it can do more harm that good. I will read other people's experiences and I start to worry for no reason. Try not to read too much into things. I ALWAYS DO!! lol!

I hope you have a wonderful weekend, gonna be a nice one! :)

Liz- I hope you get your DSL up and running soon! Dial up, oh how I remember those days!! Took forever to get connected!! LOL!!

Wow 2 more weeks till you break ground!?? I bet you are so happy to get the building started!! Woo hoo!! I am so excited for you! Having a house built just how you would like it! Awesome!! Glad you are deciding on the colors! No pink/purple house for Frank! LOL!!!

I hope you & Frank have an enjoyable weekend! I have to run now. Work awaits!!!

Talk to you laters!


Slatka - August 4

Hi Aimee, Liz, Lila --

Just popping in to say hi. Nothing much going on here except packing and taping things. I'm also cleaning/dusting so the stuff I am packing is actually clean before I wrap it up. Oh, and the appraisal came back yesterday at the exact price we wrestled the sellers down to -- very good! That worry is gone. Now, I have a list of other worries that could be taken care of too!

Liz and Lila -- I am being educated by your discussions of kitchens and bathrooms. Having lived in city apartments for most of my adult life I am clueless when it comes to decorating. That will all have to change. I usually got by with furniture inherited from friends, family, the street, and my decorating scheme is, well, let's call it eclectic.

Aimee - didn't know you were volunteer EMS/Fire -- that's so cool! Did you have to do a lot of training for that? What inspired you to do that? Actually, I have a friend who met her husband on unfortunately, we all hate him. She'd also gone on a lot of singles cruises and church/singles stuff. It is tough. I met my husband in a very dis-connected and chance-y way -- it takes luck, I think, once you are out of college and that kind of dating pool college provides.

Oh, and Lila, bring on the sex talk! I visited a few sites concerning ttc and fertility months ago before I found this site and man, some of the things they said were quite raw. Unnecessarily raw. I'm no prude (we can discuss that later! ha, ha), but those women were vulgar in a way that did not seem to help the overall discussion of real issues that we all struggle with. You are no where near that at all! I think talking about sex, especially in our situations, where sex has the risk of becoming routine/mechanical and tied to certain dates in the cycle, is important and healthy. We can talk about sex in a fun, serious, and regular way, I think.

(To make you laugh: when Sonny and I first started ttc, seems like many years ago!, we had sex sometimes twice a day, EVERYDAY from when I stopped bleeding, to when I started again. Can you imagine? I thought, the more, the better, and Sonny was quite willing. What the hell were we thinking? We were like crazy rabbits. The end result was that we were exhausted and his sperm count stayed at a lower level, because he was "using" it so much, it didn't have time to refresh. We have since slowed down to a more regular 4 times a week, more during ovulation. I thought you'd get a kick out of that!).

The story of how we met is long and convoluted so I'll save that for another time!

Take care!



liz - August 4

Hi Slatka, Aimee and Lila -

Finally my dsl is up and running! :) It's been a long journey, but thankfully it is finally fixed after 7 hours on the phone and 2 repair men!

I am happy to report that my bw came back excellent today. My estrodiol is up to 408 from 274 on Wed. My progesterone is 22.7 down from 24.7 on Wed. They are very pleased with my results and so am I. ;D

Aimee -
I think that you are a wonderful, amazing women and I also think that when you least expect it Mr. Right is going to pop right into your life! They always say love comes knocking when you least expect it. I admire you so much for setting you sights on IVF and puting the dating sceen on the back burner. I can really see how much having a child means to you! You do still have to have fun and be good to yourself, you do deserve it always!
Great news about starting the bcp's! :) It is such a good feeling knowing you are moving forward again. Congrats on the meds! Boy is that a money saver. Does your ins. cover any of your meds? Mine does not, only pills, not injectables so it really does not do so much good in my situation. It does cover my prog. supp so I can be thankful for that and also it does cover my treatments 100% for up to 6 cycles per lifetime. I am fortuanate and really try to think about what they cover and not what they don't cover.

Slatka -
Congrats on the appraisal ;D I know you were worried. That is just awesome, now you are able to cross one of your worries off your list.
Movie night! Great idea, air conditioned :) What movie did you see?

I am going to run and catch up on all the other threads. I feel like I have been gone for awhile.

Take care,


Lila - August 6

Liz and Aimee: I keep reading more and more but I still keep having questions so I apologize to keep pestering you guys with them but you have been so helpful and I really appreciate it.

Question 1: Why do you take BCP? I tried to find references on some threads and I am guessing it has something to do with regulating the cycle but I must be missing something since I still do not understand. Is it supposed to suppress something? I guess that it is not in my clinic’s protocol because I have not found anything about it in any of their literature and they have not asked me to take any. Very confused.

Question 2: Estradiol Levels? In reading your threads Liz it is obviously a good thing that estradiol levels increase in the Luteal Phase ( and big congratulations on that by the way) but I do not understand exactly what that increasing level is saying. My searches on it just seem to talk about estradiol in terms of the Day 3 Test and what it tells about egg quality.

OK now that all that my ignorance is out of the way let’s chat.
Aimee I am so happy your appointment went well. That is great news, and what a awesome nurse. It really is shocking how expensive all these drugs are – don’t get me wrong I understand it is capitalism at work, and I appreciate that these profits are what help make the pharmaceutical companies come up with the next miracle drug etc but still wow they really do add up.

That is really cool about the firefighting/emt work that you do and as a Fairfax County resident THANK YOU for doing it. I actually called about a year ago (after Katrina) trying to look into doing the classes (emt not firefighting) but every time I tried to register I was told they were full . I kept asking about a waiting list but they said I needed to call back later when they determined when the next class would be added. Over time I got discouraged and then work got so busy I sort of stopped trying. I know how much work and effort you had to put in and I really admire you.

Liz: So what you’re saying is that you and Frank did the When Harry met Sally thing? I think that is really great – all the marriages I know that started from real friendships before they could develop to something more serious always seem really strong and healthy.

I do have to say that I am quite impressed with your ability to pull together a wedding in less than 3 months – that is a true talent. It took me 10 months and at that time I actually was a professional event planner! I am sure yours was a beautiful affair and I have always thought small intimate is a great way to go for a wedding as it is much more about the couple than the “event”. I guess congrats are in order since Monday will be your 1 year engagement anniversary, hopefully you will be getting your BFP for a present. When he asked were you expecting or was it a complete surprise? The lake sounds like a great place to be asked. Was Frank suave and romantic? Paul was quite nervous, unusual for him, which made it quite endearing. It actually is a cute story but I won’t bore you with the details.

Liz when can you test? It is just a few days away right? I am keeping all fingers and toes crossed for you. Slatka you are only a few days behind Liz right? Well hopefully you guys will soon be keeping each other company on the BFP success story thread and then with any luck Aimee and I can join you in a few weeks.

Slatka: Great news about the house – I‘ll bet you are so relieved about the appraisal. Now you just have to get through the packing which I am sure is no fun in this heat. I am very impressed with you cleaning everything first – I had those plans too but it just did not work out that way at all. Actually Paul ended up on an emergency business trip for 8 of the 10 days we had set aside to move ( we did it over a long period of time since we were just going to go several loads a day after work instead of all at once) so I ended up doing much of it by myself. This meant I had less time then I thought so I just started loading things in boxes in whatever shape they were in, taking them over, and dealing with the fall out later (read never). You are far more disciplined than I.

With regard to decorating style personally I think eclectic is great. I think it tends to be a much better way to express your true sense of style as well as being more representational of who and what you really are about. With regard to the many homes I see today where everything matches a little too well I can’t help but think that this is what happens when Pottery Barn meets Stepford Wives.

As usual I have babbled on for far too long so I will cut this off but next time we will have to get back to the sex talk. Your story was great and thank you so much for sharing it is always good to keep our sense of humor while figuring all this out.

As for me I do have surgery scheduled for Monday so hopefully that will go well and things can begin to move forward - instead of the dreaded 2ww I feel like I have been on the hiatus from hell – I will feel much better when things start to happen.


liz - August 6

Good morning Lila, Slatka and Aimee

I hope everyone is having a nice weekend. Sltatka I am sure you are very busy packing. I hope you and Sonny are saving some time for fun too :)

I am extrememly tired the past 2 days, so needless to say I am not getting to much done around here. Last night we had to go to Home Depot and every chance I got I found somewhere to sit down and relax. I sure hope I am not coming down with the flu or something. My allergies are also horrible! I have no idea why they got so back so quick but they sure did.

Lila -
Your questions are always welcome. I will do my best to answer the ones I know atleast something about. :) You are not perstering us, trust me the only way you find out an answer is to ask the question. I am sure that if I get to IVF I will be begging your guys for advice.

As for the Estrodiol... When I was seeing my gyn she had me do a blood test on day 23 for progersterone. They results always came back good that I definatly ovulated. The first thing that they did when I moved over to the infertility section is test my Estrodiol and Progesterone together on day 23. They want your Progesterone over 10, that shows that you did ovulate. They want your Estrodiol over 100, mine was 56 the first month and 64 the second month. From what they explained to me is that since the Estrodiol is produced by your overies a lower then 100 level can indiciate a "less then perfect" or "lower quality" ovulation. Meaning that you may be ovulating (I always do) but that the eggs may not be good enough to be fertilized. Exactly why they want it to stay up over the 2ww I am not 100% sure. I do know that last month when my Estrodiol dropped to 103 on 4dpo. I had a great cycle that month and did not expect the drop. What they do is have me do a trigger shot of hcg (not as much in quanity as the trigger for ovulation, but the same shot) and that is sopossed to "wake up" the ovaries and get then to start producing Estrodiol. They tell me it is common to have to do this for patients on Ovulation Induction medications. My re has told me nemerous times that your Estrodiol is vital in the first half of your cycle because it is determining how well your overies are responding. In the Leutal Phase is imoprtant as well. Now, I have never read to much about this on the internet so I am not sure if it is something that my re believes in or if it is actual fact. I have never seen anyone post about Estrodiol and the Leutal Phase here on the forums, so again I am not sure. I do however feel that this makes sense. If your overies are not working properly they are not producing adequate Progesterone and Estrodiol to withstand a pregnancy. Progesterone and I believe the Estrodiol too help with the lining of the Uterus, to make it hospitable for a fertilized egg.

I hope this helped atleast a little bit for you. Feel free to ask any many questions are you like. I will always answer the best I can.

Pulling together the wedding was actually a piece of cake. We decided on the date driving home from the lake and the next day I was busy on the phone. I booked my church, found an aweseome place for the reception, went to see it 2 days later, booked it. The reception was at a Golf Club that has an old stone farmhouse you can use, they take care of all the food and drinks and you have this farmhouse for the evening. It was so awesome. If you want I can give you the info and you can see the pictures online. Our photographer is a co-worker of Franks and he offered to do our wedding as a wedding present. It was awesome and I think him and his wife did a great job.

I actually knew about the engagement, we picked out the ring together, but I didn't know when. Kinda a funny story there, we were at the lake in July of last year with my family. It was Sun. night and just my Grandparents and Frank and I were there. We were driving in the car for ice cream and he reached over and touch my bb's I said to him "hey they are mine", he said I thought they were mine and I said "I don't see a ring on my finger" his response was well maybe we can fix that. I was in complete shock. Frank was afraid of marriage since he got burned so badly before, I could't believe my ears. I left it go and the next morning when I woke up I was thinking about it, I rolled over and said are you serious about the ring? He said yes and well I became the happiest women in the world. I knew long before this Frank was the one and I was just patiently waiting for him to get over being scared I would leave him like his 1st wife did. We got home from that weekend and went looking for rings, he wanted me to be a part of it so that I would have exactly what I wanted. We found the one within a couple of trips and well then it was out of my hands. He still wanted our engagement to be a surprise and it was. He of course wanted to ask my Dad's permissing and he did, very remarkable and admirable I think. My family was so happy, they love Frank as much as I do and knew all along he was the one for me.

Well, I best be going. As usual I have written a small book.

Take care, enjoy your last day of the weekend.


Lila - August 7

OK just got a card from my nephew that has on the front a cartoon of two dogs sitting in front of a computer. One of the dog has his paw on the keyboard and is saying to the other ” On the internet, nobody knows you’re a dog.” DH hands me this card laughing as I am on site reading through all the new posts – do have to say it did give me a moment of pause before I turned around and said to him you know at this point I think I would welcome advice from anyone, Snoopy included. Anyway I am beginning to get excited from all these BFP posts on so many threads I think all that hot weather must have had some sort of weird side effect – so I am thinking that we will soon be hearing very good things from Liz and Slatka!

Slatka RE Sex talk I do have to say 4x a week with more during O! What are you a Rock Star! I think we only posted those kind of stats when it was O-time or vacation (have to say my DH loves hotels). We used to joke that maybe instead of spending our money on drugs and IUIs we should just go get a room at the Ritz Carleton and see what happens.

Aimee: Hope you have fun plans and are having a good time this weekend. I am still trying to live up to your example so I did a 27 mile bike ride. Don’t think the 10 mile run is in my near future but at least I feel better that at least I am now being more consistent with the workouts. I am really hoping this surgery is no big deal recovery wise so I can keep up with the workouts.

Which Fire Station do you work out of? How long have you been doing that? I am wishing I had met you a year ago I would have had a great guy to set you up with but he moved to NY a couple months ago. It really sounds like you get great support from your RE and the whole Shady Grove staff that must be a big relief to know you are in the right hands. If I can ask you a personal question - how did you select your donor? I know nothing about the selection process and would love to hear more about your experience.

Liz: Thank you so much for the help with the Estrodiol that does make sense. One more: when people talk about E2 on posts I have been assuming they are talking about Estrodiol is that correct?

I loved your story about Frank he really sound like a sweetie. I am the youngest of 5 for my dad (4 daughters) and he was so tickled when Paul came to him and asked him for permission to marry me, apparently none of the other sons in laws had done so. Actually Paul asked both my parents and after saying yes (they loved him too) they then proceeded, with Paul still sitting there, to get into an argument about whether or not I was “high maintenance”. My mother apparently was saying I was and that Paul needed to know this so that he could take care of me properly; my Dad is kicking her under the table and saying this is not the time you scare off the nice suitor. Anyway Paul and I had been dating for almost 2 years so I am pretty sure he was aware of my “needs” and for the record DH says I am not high maintenance at all. Parents!

For me as well the engagement was not a surprise (he had surprised me 2 weeks earlier when we were in NY for a weekend doing Xmas shopping when he suddenly dragged me in a jewelry store and asked hypothetically what kind of ring I would like). Anyway, 2 weeks after that he spur of the moment decided we should fly to Montreal – so I am pretty much expecting him to propose I just do not know exactly when or where. The first night he says he has reservations at a nice restaurant so I get all prettied up and out we go. We had a lovely dinner but no question. Then he says let’s go to this nice bar /lounge he has read about – it is just up the street and we can walk, so trying to be amiable and thinking this is going to be a night I always remember I say great. Did I forget to mention it is December in Canada, there is 24” of snow on the ground, the taxi drivers are on strike, and I am in this cute little cocktail dress and high heels? No? Well I do not mention it to Paul either since I do not want to be difficult to this nice man who I think wants to marry me. So we walk “just up the street” 1.25 miles in said snow and have a lovely drink and listen to jazz but again no question. We go back to the hotel and go to sleep…no question. The next day we are going around site seeing (my first time in Montreal) and he takes me to this beautiful Cathedral. I am not thinking anything at this point since it would never occur to me he would propose in a church but he takes me to this quite corner and starts telling me about all the times he came here with his family and how important family and traditions are… and he is crying ( which I had never seen him do) and he is just going on and on talking about us and then he takes a ring out and looks at me…so I smile and look back and finally say to him “do you have a question to ask me?” He looks at me completely confused and then the light bulb kicks in and finally he pops “the question”. With regard to our wedding plans that is another long story to save for another time but suffice it to say it took us longer just to set the date then it did for you to plan and carry out your wedding.

Hope I am not boring you with all these personal stories it is just since I am in this waiting period with no real active ttc I feel I do not have as much to share in that regard. If this is all too much personal stuff and you all would rather stay on point I totally understand. Please let me know. I am off for surgery, will try and write later since I took the whole day off work. I am actually looking forward to a nice afternoon lounging in bed with a new book.


Aimee37 - August 7

Hi all :) Hope you had a great weekend. I spent most of my weekend outside and have a nice tan to show for it. I ran, biked, unicycled and swam. I was hardly on the puter.

I started BCP's yesterday. I hope I do not get irritable or bloated. Most likely I will. :)

Lila :)

How did your surgery go? Did you have a lap done today? I hope it went smoothly and you are doing ok now?

The BCP's are to calm/quiet your ovaries down before stimming them with gonal f/follitism. It has been proven that BCP's give you a good follicle outcome. The estrogen levels somewhat indicate whether or not you have eggs growing in your follies or if there are any eggs in them. My estrogen got to 4335 two days before I triggered, which was a good sign. But...I was slightly overstimulated. When it gets about 5,000 it can get to be dangerous.

Yes, I have been a volunteer EMT/FF for 8 years. I have to go thru alot of training!!! The fire fighting was the hardest, alot of physical training for 3 months. Only half the fire fighting class graduates, many drop out or fail because they cannot hack it endurance wise. I passed!!! Half the class failed. Made me feel good, many muscular men never made it passed the first month. :) I have many stories to tell with my experiences. Some calls I have had I will never forget. Mainly, 9-11 was far the most devestating. :( I was on scene and never say so many body parts! The smell was horrifying. Overall, I find it to be the most self rewarding job I will ever have. I almost went career but thought it would be hard to have a child working 24 hour shifts at a time.

Liz- Your wedding story is amazing! :) I hope you had a great weekend. i bet you are counting the days to the ground breaking of your new house! :)

I sure hope I find Mr. Right. I fear I will be single for the rest of my life and that is not something I want to experience!!!!

No my insurance covers nothing as far as meds are concerned. I think the only think that is covered is the estrace pills and Lupron. I guess these are drugs that you use when you are not going thru fertility treatment. I just had to pay a copay. My fertillity treatment has been covered out of my pocket since I am single and using donor sperm. I think that sucks!!! :( I will not even tell you how much I had to for out so far!!!! MAJOR BUCKS!!! Thanks to refinancing my condo and some other investments I am able to afford it.

Slaka- I am so glad your appraisal went well!!! Woo Hoo!!! I bet you are estatic & can't wait to move into your new home! :) I know moving can be pure exhausting!

You totally crack me up! You and some were 2 rabbits going at it! LOL! OK, that would explain the lower quality sperm than! hee hee

Well, I have to get going. Work awaits!!! Talk to you all laters!!! Enjoy your Monday!!!


liz - August 7

Hello everyone

Lila - Your posts are always welcome no matter what you would like to talk about. I love getting to know people, the stories you share are great. Please keep it up! :)
That is awesome how your dh propossed. He seems like quite the romantic type, good for you. Frank is well definatly not romantic, but he is the most awesome husband and I wouldn't trade him for the world.
Yes, E2 is Estrodiol.
That card you got is too funny :) Yep you are right I think when we are so wrapped up in the ttc cirlce any adivce is welcome just to be able to "think it all through." I do asure you that I am personally not a dog, although dogs really do have the life don't they? My beagle (Izzy) is our baby, she is spoiled rotten. She is not allowed on the furniture and she never goes on unless she is invited by Frank or I. Often when I take a nap she will coming running over to me because she knows that "nap time" she is allowed to lay with me on a blanket. She is adorable, I just love her to death.

How did you make out this morning with your surgery? I hope you resting. Take care of yourself.

Aimee -
Sounds like you had a very good weekend. Good for you, you deserve it. The good old bcp's. I wish you the best of luck with no bloating and no irritablness. How long are you going to be on them?
I bet you are excited to be heading into your countdown to the IVF. I am so excited for you. You will have to keep us posted each step of the way. How long has it been? It seems like the time has just flown by for your wait.
From what I understand the insurance thing has a lot to do with you employer and what they elect to have in their coverage. Have you ever heard that before? The insurance can be such a nightmare for many people. I can understand why couples who want children so badly have to stop trying because of medical bills. I look at the amounts of money that you can spend in short order, it is sickening.
I am happy that you are able to follow your dream of motherhood. I am sure sometimes it can be rough, but in the end the ultimate reward will be worth it. :)
Your emt/ffing is wonderful. I admire that, you are one strong women. You kicked butt in your training! :) We just watched (again) on Friday Ladder 49. I love that movie, it makes you really see how "real" firefighting is. I don't think I could ever do it, not strong enough, so I really admire those who can. We need more people in this world like you!

Well, I must run.
Talk to you all later.



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