sharedjourney home

Hello, firstly i want to send out my heartfelt sympathy for anyone who has experience the devestating loss of a baby at any stage of their pregnancy, now that I have been through it my heart breaks at reading these stories and i understand. I am 35 and have wanted a baby for the past 10 years. I was supposed to be 8 weeks pregnant and my levels were high and within a good range, then i had an ultrasund and was told i was measuring only 5-6 weeks and they could only see a gestational sac and no fetus yet, they said to wait another week and see. A week later i started spotting dark brown, people i talked to said it was okay as long as the spotting wasnt bright red. I felt better but it gradually got worse and i went to the hospital, they did another u/s and they said i was measuring 6 weeks still but the levels were showing only 2 weeks...then, like in a movie the nurse came barging in to the room and said the lab tests were wrong and the levels were consistent with 6 weeks. I was so relieved but still confused becuase i should have been 10 weeks by now. I waited another few days and they did another ultrasound and hcg levels had dropped and the sac was still empty- thery said it was a blighted ovum. I was devestated. I was advised i could take a pill to induce the miscarriage, have a d&c or just wait and let it expel naturally. I chose the natural method becuase i could not bring myself to induce it. However 2 weeks later I started hemorraging and passing clots the size of tennis balls, it was terrifying. I rushed to the hospital where they ended upo doing a d&c anyway. It has been 3 weeks and i am so sad, and so angry. I feel like I am supposed to be "over it" and instead I am barely functioning. I am 35, single and feel like time is running out.