I HAVE SO MUCH BUT I STILL FEEL SAD
4 Replies
LUCYLOU - August 1

I HAVE BEEN MARRIED TO A WONDERFUL MAN FOR TWELVE YEARS. WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH 7 M/CS AND 1 UTERINE DEATH. IM CRYING AS I WRITE THIS BECAUSE I FEEL SO UNGRATEFUL AND ALONE. WE HAVE HAD TWO SUCESSFUL IVF TREATMENTS A FOUR YEAR OLD BOY AND A TWELVE WEEK OLD DAUGHTER. WHEN I WAS PREGNANT WITH MY DAUGHTER IT STARTED OUT AS A TWIN PREGNANCY BUT SADLEY ONE OF MY BABIES DIED AT 16WKS. IT HAD TO STAY INSIDE ME UNTIL THE END OF MY TERM SO IT WOULDNT AFFECT THE OTHER TWIN,AND I WAS TOLD BY MY DR. IT WOULD BE RE ABSORBED INTO MY BODY ANYWAY. WHEN MY DAUGHTER WAS BORN A SIGNED A FORM TO LET THE DR,S TAKE WHAT EVER WAS THERE AWAY AS I DIDNT WANT TO SEE IT, WE HAVE JUST HAD A FOLLOW UP APPOINTMENT WITH OUR DR AND HE HAD A LETTER ON HIS DESK FROM THE LAB SAYING THERE HAD BEEN A BABY WITH THE AFTERBIRTH IT WAS 7INCH FROM CROWN TO RUMP AND HAD BEEN SEVERLEY FLATTEND BY THE OTHER TWIN. I FEEL SO SAD I DIDNT GET THE CHANCE TO FIND OUT WHAT SEX IT WAS OR HAD A CHANCE TO SAY GOODBYE. I JUST FEEL THAT I LEFT IT THERE ALL ALONE WHEN IT NEEDED ME.

 

Yukon Queen - August 1

Hi Lucyou, so sorry to hear of your loss.it must be hard not to have said goodbye but you lost another and left with another bundle of joy to console you.Its not your fault that it died.Pls cheer up and enjoy the miracle of comfort that you have.
I feel your pains ,its ok, my dear,be strong and remember that your baby girl needs you now and you need to recurperate.
Remain blessed.

 

LUCYLOU - August 2

thank you so much for your kind words.knowing that there are people out there who understand makes me feel a lot better. thanks again so much. xxx

 

iwantababyx2 - August 5

I am so sorry! I have had 3 documented m/c's and understand your pain. May God bless you and console you.

 

bdantonio - August 10

I know how you feel. I have had 5 m/c some further along then others. I have a little girl who is 2 1/2yrs old and im pregnate again everything okay so far. All my pregnacies are fertility babies. No matter when you lose them they hurt. You always wonder what they may have been like, or who they may of ended up. However you have to also look at it as God took them for a reason. It took me a long time to think of it like that. I know that there had to be a reason and one day i may or may dot find out. I have a beautiful daighter who is healthy and scores off the charts it mental development. shes ahead of all the kid in preschool. Maybe the children i was carrying was sick and god thought that if i had to go to hell and back for kids that he wanted to give me a perfect one. I hit that dark spot that you are at a few times. I wanted to know why i couldnt have a baby and others did. I got married at age 20 and did it all right when all my friends had kids in high school i waited but i felt punished in some way. You have to look at your children and think that god wanted you to have a happy healthy child and if you would of had the other child it may of had severe medical problems that would affect your entire family and possibly pulled at the family more then god felt your plate could handle. Maybe he felt you could deal with this better then that. I know that haveing my daughter and loosing so many i appreciate her 100times more then most do. And i know that if i had a really sick shild that financially i may not be as stable as i am and that my daughter may not get everything she does and get to do dance class and everyhting she may have suffered in the long run. I know at this time its hard but everyday will get a little better and if you need to vent just write i will listen.

 

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