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FortyFour,
I can't believe what I have just read! I've been following up on your pregnancy and was telling my DH all about it, being so excited for you and for our possibilities. I can't until now, believe what happened. I am so sorry. I know it's not enough but I know too that you are a very strong woman. Pls take care of yourself, we are all here for you.
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NO, NO, NO!!! 44, OMG. I just....I'm crying here....oh, I just can't believe this. I can't stop crying for you..don't know what to say.....I just....I'm just so damn sorry. I am in shock here....just unbelievably devestated for you. I almost fell off my chair when I saw your heading. I am terribly sorry. Truly I hope you can somehow get through this....oh, these words are worthless to you....you are in my prayers. So, so, sorry. Karen
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Thank you all for your kind words. I am doing better today. The hubby and I hardly slept last night worying about that damn cat and crying over our babies. Well at 3oo in the morning I thought I heard scratching at the back door and ran out to open it and no cat. I was bawling like a baby and hubby got a little mad and said I had to get it into my heart that the cat was gone. I said I knew I heard him and he said I was dreaming. Well at 6oo in the morning my one cat was staring at the front door and the other cat was scratching at the door. When I opened it up there stood that damn cat, big eyed, skinny and very dirty. It was the best thing
I'd seen in awhile. My hubby and I just stood there and cried. What a roller coaster.
I am cleaning today and talking to friends that knew about the babies. I know it may sound strange but I can feel another baby coming and feel excited to find out what I can do to get pg and stay pg. I am definetl getting a new doc. When we were talking to the doc after we saw no heartbeat he said he would assume that I had all the abnormalites there could be and treat me for all of them. I was like what? I want to know what it is and be treated for only that. I dont know why when we do IVF that they dont test for simple fixes like clotting disorders and autoimmune disorders and wait until we miscarry 2 -3 times. It seems cruel to me. Oh well I know I am rambling. Take care all and baby dust to all.
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fourtyfour I am so happy your cat came back, I was hoping he would, he knows he has a good home!! I would definetly find another doctor to do some genetic testing for any clotting disorder or anything else that could cause a miscarriage! I am glad you are doing better and already thinking about the next pregnancy! it will happen and your next round of tears will be for a beautiful baby or babies!!!!!!!
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44
So glad your cat came back. What a relief that must be! I hope you can get to the next step soon. I hope you know how strong you are.
Meridith
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Fortyfour,
I am so glad your kitty came back. We had to put our old cat down last month... so I know how difficult losing a pet can be. I am happy you don't have to deal with that right now.
It's great you are so positive again. I have been thinking of you over the past several days knowing that this is such a hard time for you. I just feel horrible for you. I hope your new doctor can find the answers you need to move forward. Take care.
Wantsbaby2
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44,
I just read your post and I feel really sorry for you and your husband. I was a little shocked because I thought for sure this was it! I wish I could take your pain away from you.
Hopefully this new dr will be able to do something for you!
I will keep you and your family in my prayers....
Cindy
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Hi ladies and thank you once again for your thoughts. I am really mad today. I am mad that when I wanted to consult with my doc after my first m/c that he said we didnt need to because it was a bad baby. Now after my 2nd m/c he says that i probably have autoimmune problems. How can a diagnosis change so easily? I wanted to talk to him about my concerns re clotting disorders and he hushed me up with a wave of a hand. Now he says that may be what I have and I wonder if my babies really had to die. Mad as a wet hen I am. If i didnt have to use my time and money to get pg I would sue to set an example for other women. Why do we have to have so many miscarraiges before they test us. If men were losing babies it would be a whole different ball game. Enough of my ranting. Take care all.
Baby dust to all.
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Fourtfour I totally agree, I think the protocol for any woman that can't get pregnant on their own and has to do any kind of fertility that can cost alot of money should be tested before hand for any genetic problem. I don't understand why they wait till you have a few miscarriages to test. I had it done after my first miscarriage only because I pushed the fact that my father has a clotting problem and I had a dvt after a knee surgery, and a doctor didnt' even order the test, a nurse practioner did because she listened to me!
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44 I'm glad your cat came back. I hope you received my pvt mail. I'm so sorry for being speechless the 1st time I read this post. You are a very brave woman and I admire you for that. Will keep praying for you and DH.
All the best with your next endeavour.
Debie
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Hey 44,
I am sooooo very sorry for your loss. Things must feel like they are falling apart and there's no glue or tape to put it back together.
I can definately relate to the m/c factor I have had 9 miscarriages and 2 ectopics in the last 5 years and NOW finally the doc decides to put me on a coctail of meds to see if I am having a clotting factor or to help my uterus stablize for implantation. I have only done this for a month gave it 1 try and wasn't succusful in getting pregnant because the pressure was to great emotionally so my poor hubby had been getting pushed away for the last month. I feel better about everything now so we've been happily trying again.
You have a journey ahead with a HAPPILY EVER AFTER I am sure no matter where the road takes you and your lovey. So as frustrating as things may seem and with as devasted as I know you feel, Just remember you always have us if you need a shoulder to cry on or something to SCREAM at. Tell your Saddened love to come and chat sometime too or just read through some of the stories here this can be a great deal of support for him too.
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Wantsbaby2 - Sorry about your cat, I couldnt imagine going through that right now.
I have had a really hard 2 days. I cant stop crying and I feel soooooo angry. Part of me wants to lie in a ball and die and the other wants to take a hammer and smash everything in site. My hubby has been crying also and even read some of the threads. He thinks you ladies are great and appreciates all of your thougths and prayers.
I cannot get a hold of any of my friends of family to let them know about the m/c and I am going nuts. Hubby went off to work today so I think that will help him and then I can cry and yell and whatever without worrying about upsetting him.
I really hate this stage of grief. The world is taking off around me and I am stuck with my feet in the mud. My heart is in pieces and my mind could really give a shit about anything. I have to go to work this week and get some paperwork and I dont know how I can do this. My hubby is so distracted with grief I worry about him driving the freeways. He left his wallet this am and has no cash or credit cards. I something happens to him I will be in the looney bin for sure.
Take care all and baby dust to all.
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44, I have been out of the loop and am just finding this post. I am soooooo sorry for your loss. This is so shocking. I will say a prayers for you and your husband. Sometimes things are very unfair. I am sorry.
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44, I'm SO glad that your cat came back. I continuously think about you and have shared your story right from the beginning with some close friends. We are all so very sorry and cannot imagine your grief. I just wish someone could say, ok, in exactly x amount of months, you'll have a baby. I just hope and pray that that special day does come to you....I have to believe completely that it will because you are putting SO much into this and clearly would make an incredible mother. For now, I wish you the strength to somehow move on and reach that goal of having a baby. I can't express how sorry I am and how much I wish this horrible experience did not happen to you or your DH. Karen
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44
I hope you take comfort in knowing that we all have those days sometimes (most of the time) weeks when we hate our life ourselves our misery even hate our negative attitute . So hang in there hun. We'll be there ;D
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Fortyfour,
It would just make sense to me that doctors would choose to do some extra testing if the patient requests it. I wonder why they don't? It's so frustrating. I don't blame you for being angry.
Just go ahead and let it all out for as long as you need to. It helps to let yourself fall apart for awhile. I know the feeling of feet being stuck in mud. Our whole lives are controlled by infertility. I wish you and hubby brighter days ahead.
Wantsbaby2
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