2nd mc this year
15 Replies
Jen1027 - December 8

:'(
I am new here and guess I'm just looking for women who understand the lose. And maybe can help me understand. In March this year I mc at 6weeks. Bleeding and all. Today I called the doctor to find out about blood levels and was told very low almost neg. I would be or am 6weeks again. I just did not and do not feel pg. When I knew I was pg my breasts were sore and I just felt sick. Now nothing. They say it is normal and not to be concerned and next time "SHOULD" be okay. Well I guess my question would be how do you stay strong enough not to give up on it. I have a 2 year old daughter and LOVE being a mom. I guess I just need a understanding ear and someone to offer some faith. I have lost alot of faith. Sorry for the rant but talking does help no matter how!

 

liz - December 8

Jen,

I am so sorry for your losses. There is nothing that anyone can say to ease your pain. I will tell you that I know how it feels to have repeated miscarriages. I had 2 miscarriages when I got pregnant for the third time. I expected that everything would be just fine, smoothe sailing for 9 months. Unfortunatly that was not in the cards and I lost my little gril at 10 1/2 weeks last December. Since this was 3rd m/c they were finally willing to do some testing. I find it horrible that you miscarry 3 times before they will test you for different problems. I know there are doctors out there that are willing to test after 2 and if I would have known what I know I know now I would have pushed for it before.

There is no easy way to get through this time. For me I would take one day at a time and I kept my faith everyday. I knew that someday it would be my time, I prayed a lot and always believed that God had a plan for me.

For me keeping the faith was the best thing I could have every done.

Liz

 

Jen1027 - December 8

Liz,

Thank You and I am very sorry for your lose also. It is very hard to keep faith but I am trying. I guess it also makes it harder really not to know what is wrong or what is going on. Monday they want me to get an ultrasound and wednesday goto a specialist to do blood testing and possibly setup for an D&C. I just want a big family I LOVE being a mom.

Thank You for your ear,

Jen


[quote author=liz link=board=17;threadid=3429;start=0#29151 date=1165581086]
Jen,

I am so sorry for your losses. There is nothing that anyone can say to ease your pain. I will tell you that I know how it feels to have repeated miscarriages. I had 2 miscarriages when I got pregnant for the third time. I expected that everything would be just fine, smoothe sailing for 9 months. Unfortunatly that was not in the cards and I lost my little gril at 10 1/2 weeks last December. Since this was 3rd m/c they were finally willing to do some testing. I find it horrible that you miscarry 3 times before they will test you for different problems. I know there are doctors out there that are willing to test after 2 and if I would have known what I know I know now I would have pushed for it before.

There is no easy way to get through this time. For me I would take one day at a time and I kept my faith everyday. I knew that someday it would be my time, I prayed a lot and always believed that God had a plan for me.

For me keeping the faith was the best thing I could have every done.

Liz
[/quote]

 

lili246 - December 8

Jen
I totally understand what you are talking about. I loss a baby in november 2, 2006. I was feeling pregnant at the begining and then all of the sudden they went away. I was having a brown discharge and thats all no bleeding or no pain at all. when I went to the doctor for an ultrasound they saw that the baby was not alive, there was no hearthbeat. it is very sad and can't think whats going on. I do have a healthy 2 year old son. So we have something in commen.
I didn't m/c by myself so I had an d&c done and it was painful, emotinally. I felt so bad because I couldn't believe that my baby wasn't alive but if it was what god decided then he knows what is best for me and why he did it he only knows. This was my first m/c and hope that I don't have to go through this anymore. it's just so painful and I will always remember my lil baby even though I never saw him/her.

So this second m/c that you have did you bleed at all of anything pain that you might of have or was it similar as my m/c?
I am sorry to hear that and please keep in touch. I do understand what you are going through and how sad it is but try to keep yourself positive and have faith.

god bless you and your family!

Love Lili

 

Jen1027 - December 8

Lili,

I am very sorry for your lose. This is the thing I dont understand....They are going by the first day of my last period 10/21 when my boyfriend and I did not concevie till the first or second week of nov. So if they did a hCG test on 11/28 they I really wouldnt be that far along and my level would be low. Right? So....how could they sit here and assume this and that without an ultrasound and without another test! I have no bleeding or cramping or spotting. I think they are jumping to conculsions they shouldnt without further testing. BUT...I will not get my hopes up and have to go through the pain again.

Thanks for the ear and open heart!

Jen

[quote author=lili246 link=board=17;threadid=3429;start=0#29167 date=1165605085]
Jen
I totally understand what you are talking about. I loss a baby in november 2, 2006. I was feeling pregnant at the begining and then all of the sudden they went away. I was having a brown discharge and thats all no bleeding or no pain at all. when I went to the doctor for an ultrasound they saw that the baby was not alive, there was no hearthbeat. it is very sad and can't think whats going on. I do have a healthy 2 year old son. So we have something in commen.
I didn't m/c by myself so I had an d&c done and it was painful, emotinally. I felt so bad because I couldn't believe that my baby wasn't alive but if it was what god decided then he knows what is best for me and why he did it he only knows. This was my first m/c and hope that I don't have to go through this anymore. it's just so painful and I will always remember my lil baby even though I never saw him/her.

So this second m/c that you have did you bleed at all of anything pain that you might of have or was it similar as my m/c?
I am sorry to hear that and please keep in touch. I do understand what you are going through and how sad it is but try to keep yourself positive and have faith.

god bless you and your family!

Love Lili
[/quote]

 

lili246 - December 8

Jen,
I know it gets so confusing. Because I went through the same problem when I had the ultrasound done and they told be that my baby wasn't alive I couldn't believe it because I thought that I had felt my baby moving the previous week before that. And thats all they did after the ultrasound the doctor said that it was confirm that my baby wasn't alive and she suggested a d&c. So thats when I had the surgery two days after they confirm me that my baby wasn't alive. I keep thinking that they should of done more test to make sure that my baby was dead, what about if it wasn't dead and my baby was just hiding deeply into my organs and that was the reason that they couldn't hear the heartbeat? I keep wondering that and doesn't make no sense.
Before they do anything make sure that you had m/c and that you are no longer pregnant. So they just told you that your hcg was low and that you were no longer pregnant and that you had m/c? Thats is so wiered please give me more info I will try to help you somhow because you need to make sure maybe you didn't m/c at all and you are still pregnant. Because I know that you don't get pregnant on the day of you last af, and thats what they go base on not on the date when you concieve. maybe when they tested you it was too early and your hcg was still very low but was going up and it might be up at this point.
It's so wiered if you had no bleeding not even any spotting, fever, or cramping. Probalby you are still pregnant. Have they done you an ultrasound to make sure?

Best wishes and hope that all is well.

Love, Lili

 

Jen1027 - December 11

Lili,

I have to go for the ultrasound tomorrow 2:30pm. I have going to see the same lady I saw when I have a first m/c. She is sooo nice and very comforting. She does not say the truth harshly and cold. She really was great last but...but last time I had bleeding and passed the baby on my own however my hCG level kept going up. Come to find out after a month of testing and making sure there was truely no baby in the sac that kept growning they did a D&C. Hopefully all will work out either way. I am truely not comfortable with the way the nurse and midwife went about telling me what was going on. They just seemed to assume because me hCG level was low that I am m/cing. I still have no cramps or blood and I still get sick almost everytime I eat. Now...could this be in my head or stress...maybe..BUT I pray they are wrong.

Then what if they are wrong and they told me what they told me and I really did m/c because of the stress and crying almost all day.

I thank you soooo very much for your ear you are truely a blessing and help me soo much. I will write when I get back tomorrow from the ultrasound.

You know the other thing that made me mad about this nurse and midwife. They tell me you are only 26 and have time to have other children. Like this child is nothing. What happen to just being nice to peoples feelings!!

Thank you once again, I really need this!

Love, Jen

 

lili246 - December 11

Jen,
Hope that all goes well in the ultrasound and that your baby is healthy. I think that stress has to do alot in your pregnancy and it doesn't help you in anything. I was stressing my self when I was pregnant and I was having the brown discharge, that I think that to much thinking of a possible m/c because of the discharge that the stress lead me to my m/c. So think positive and hope that all is well with you keep me posted.
I am thinking of you that all is well.

Love Lili

 

Jen1027 - December 12

Lili,

I am very happy to say that they found a heart flicker. I am only 6week and 4days, according to the measurements of the ultrasound. Tomorrow the doctors will have the blood work from friday and see if my levels have gone up. I know I will not have an D&C unless I start to bleed and pass something, like last time. I know there is life now!

Thank You SOOO Very Much for your ear and support. I hope you know how much you are truely in my heart! It really does help to talk about it and know that other women go through the same things!

Love, Jen

 

lili246 - December 12

Jen,
You know I am so happy for you that your lil one is alive. I really hope that all is well and you have a healthy lil one. Take good care of yourself and I really wish you the best.
Try to take it easy and not do anything harmful. Relax and stay positive.

Love ya,
Lili

p.s. keep in touch!

 

Fortyfourfive - December 12

Jen, I am so happy for you. Keep on growing baby.!!!!!

 

sharon b - December 13

I just read through this topic summary & I just had to add from my story. I had a m/c in March 06 at 16 weeks. Needless to say once you have gone through this subsequent pregnancies can be very hard to stay positive & calm. In June I conceived again. I went through all of the early test- I had a tubal reversal in May 05. Because of the high risk of an etopic pregnancy I had to have lots of early test. Well a few weeks into this one I started spotting(just like before) well I assumed it was all over. I went in a few days later for a U/S the DR said he saw no heartbeat so he assumed I had a m/c. He scheduled my D & C for later that week. But first I had to come back in & have my physical before the D & C. Before my physical appointment I started my reseach on the internet. I determined that it was too early to see the heartbeat. When I saw the DR I told him of my research. He was very put off that I even questioned him. When I gave him more details he went over & studied my chart. God as my witness he said "oh I was looking at the wrong date, I shouldn't have seen a heartbeat yet" That Sunday I went back in for another u/s & they saw the heartbeat. I am now 30 weeks along. If I wouldn't have said anything to the DR I would have had the D&C. It is so unbelievable that this baby's life could have been terminated at 6 weeks. I share this with you just to say that DR's & staff aren't always right. I am 38 & I swore that this was it. I would have never tried again. I went through a week of hell thinking I had a m/c. All of this could have been prevented if the DR looked at my chart closer.

Good luck Jen.

Sharon

 

lili246 - December 13

Sharon,
Thank yor for your story and you know it makes me thinking because I know that I concieve on August 26 and when I went to the doctor they gave me my due date from my last mentrual period. So when I had the ultrasound my doctor said that I was 12 weeks and at the ultrasound they said that I almost 9 weeks so that is so strange as well because I didn't bleed at all and the week before I went to the doctor I kinda felt my baby moving. When at the ultrasound they couldb't see the hearthbeat and determine that the baby wasn't alive. So they schedule a d&c two days after. The doctor said that I mad a missed abortion and thats because my body didn't react to the dead baby, but like you say Sharon I was so sure that my baby was still alive and I couldn't believe that it was happening to me. The doctor confirm that my baby wasn't alive after that one ultrasound and I even told the doctor if they were sure about it and she said that the ultrasound people would never determine something like this if they wasn't sure about it. So now you have me thinking and I think that my baby was still alive and it might they might were not able to see the hearthbeat because maybe the baby was way inside my organs because I've read stories that this can happen, so who knows doctors are not right all the time and they should go deeply into something like to this and do more studies to make sure what they confirm is right. Don't you think?
They probably killed my baby..:(
I don't know what to think at this time.

Thanks for your sharing..

Lili

 

liz - December 14

Jen,

Congratulations.

You had quite a scare, I sincerely hope it is smooth sailing for you from here on out.

I wish you the best of luck in your pregnancy.

Liz

 

Jen1027 - December 14

Sharon,

I know how you feel. I know doctors are only human but I big mistake like this one or yours is crazy!

I am very happy for you and good luck with everything!

It kind of makes you not trust your doctors. I am truely thinking about switching doctors!

Jen

 

lili246 - December 14

Jen,
You are right with what happen to be on my last m/c I don't trust my doctor anymore and I will go with another doctor one that my friend has recommened me where she had her three kids.
I guess that at times you can't trust any doctor on what they say because all they want is the money well some of them.
It is crazy and scary!

Thanks,

Lili

 

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