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mo - July 6th, 2007 4:06 AM

It's almost 4am and I cannot sleep. Had a horrible day yesterday. Hubby found out he was not lasek eye surgery candidate. He was devastated, but hung in there. I had my HSG that day too. And it turned out positive on both sides. I'm devastated. Hubby has been supportive and I have to be strong too, so as not to dishearten him. but i'm a sick mess.

Been thinking about my life, and the moment it may have happened. I had limited resources, didn't even know about planned parenthood till a year or so after possible infection. what i retard i was. I did not, love myself then, took things for granted.

and now, the only thing my man wants, I can't give to him. He has to suffer for my bad choices. I feel like total shit but i will get thru this! i know it.

I have a great husband, who is standing by me. He told me when i first told him about it he knew this might be a possibility,infertility, but he accepted me and proposed to me anyway. Of course, i told him to find someone else to marry and bear children with yesterday, when the HSG came up positive. What a loser I am. He didn't find that too funny! ;)

So it's good to know i have options, that i have support. that i'm not alone. I never saw my life like this, but ya know what? LIFE DOES throw you curve balls! and you have to DEAL with it!

I have work tomorrow so i better go to sleep. Also, have to stop causing hubby stress.

Thank you for this board! I feel so much better just venting!

Anyone done surgery after blocked tubes on both sides? Share experience please.


jamielee - July 6th, 2007 9:30 AM

Hi mo, I went through the same emotions as you, I had both tubes blocked, didn't realize it until I had an ectopic pregnancy after trying for 2 1/2 years! I had to have emergency surgery to remove the tube and the doctor discovered my other tube was totally blocked as well! I moved onto IVF and the doctor told me to have the best results to have surgery again and remove the last tube. I didn't want to have another set back or surgery so I did the IVF and it failed due to the fluid from the blockage, killing my embryos. I was devastated so I had the other tube removed and my second IVF was successful!

You shouldn't think about the bad things from your past! Think about your future with your husband and stay positive!! I have cried so much through out all this I know how hard it is!! But you do have resources so never say never!! My husband is "normal" as well and it broke my heart that all this was my fault! There are sooo many women in your shoes, if you look through these boards there is a blocked tubes page from a while back it could help to read through it! Good luck your young and I'm sure with IVF you will concieve!!


amyjoy - July 6th, 2007 9:54 AM

I know that it's hard to not look at the past and what happened and what might have been. But, neither you or me or anyone can rewrite anyone's past. It's important to keep in m ind to live in the present for the future.

mo - July 6th, 2007 2:52 PM

wow! i can't believe you have such a great story to tell!!!

How far are you with the pregnancy?

i'm thinking of trying this-any thougths?

www.clearpassage.com

mo - July 6th, 2007 2:55 PM

[quote author=amyjoy link=board=7;threadid=4374;start=0#37689 date=1183730092]
I know that it's hard to not look at the past and what happened and what might have been. But, neither you or me or anyone can rewrite anyone's past. It's important to keep in m ind to live in the present for the future.
[/quote]


Thank you! My hubby just told me that! too

Brianandjena - August 20th, 2007 9:29 AM

I am also new here. Just signed up and posted under Hydrosalpinx posts... I am having that done sometime after my next menstral cycle. . I would love to know what happened what it felt like and what ur options are, Please share. and I wish u well.

mo - August 20th, 2007 10:37 AM

Hi Brianandjena,
It's goot to hear from you. Well, i had surgery on the 10th of August to 'clip' the tubes and prevent leakage into my uterus. My first surgery experience, VERY overwhelming...i cried as soon as they opened teh OR doors...slept ALL day afterwards, from the anesthesia. My husband was GREAT!!!

I have my follow-up sometime next week, and hubby and i are going to start IVF next month. We pulled $$ from our Retirment funds.

I'll continue to post...hang in there and let me know how your HSG turns out. HOw long have you been trying to conceive? How old are you?


Brianandjena - August 21st, 2007 4:33 AM

Hi Mo. thank you for responding. I am glad i figured how to find ur responce. I would appriciate it if I knew how to look at my responces. lol. It says i have 3.
Good luck I will be checking back to see how u r doing. As well as keep u posted on whats going on with me. I am so scared and overwhelmed.

mo - August 21st, 2007 4:38 PM

Hi Brianandjena,
I think what you have to do is set it up so you get email notifications when ever you get a message. Then you get a link in your email to the postings...I think that's how it works.

Don't be scared about your HSG. I try to think of it this way...it's the beginning of the beginning...no more unknown.

Keep me posted!

Toodles!


snooppy707 - August 26th, 2007 6:33 PM

Hi everyone!

Well mo I was the same way. They had to put me on Trazadone and Celexa just so I could get through it.We drove three hours to have it done and cried the whole three hour ride home. That was in June. I'm fine now. DH didn't want to except it as the last straw and looked into my eyes and told me that we would find another way. And if we didn't he was fine that it was going to be us until the end no matter what his love wouldn't change. That was a lot coming from him. He isn't the touchy feelly feelings type. Never have been. That was my sunshine in my moment of darkness. I researched and made calls. The prices were just not in our budget. So I cried and cried some more they upped my dosage on the psych meds. I couldn't handle it well. And, just recently blessings were laid upon our doorstep. I found one in our price range and a place to take care of the total cost of the meds. The ladies here have been so much help. I don't know alot. I start my day 3 testing Wednesday. But, if I can help anyone i'm here.


bdantonio - September 1st, 2007 2:04 PM

i feel dumb what is hsg?

snooppy707 - September 4th, 2007 11:33 PM

Hi bdantonio,

HSG is a hysterosalpingogram. It is a procedure when they put a catheter in your tubes and shoot dye through them. If the dye passes they are clear. If it doesn't they are blocked. They can put a little force behind it and open them if they are just clogged.


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