looking for someone to share eggs for IVF
3 Replies
Misscleo - June 21

Hi, everyone. I guess I came to this board for not only support but also for help.

My husband and I were just told by a urologist that we are going to need IVF to have children. I am 22 and he is 24 so this was devastating to us. We had an idea that this was a possibility. My husband as atypical cystic fibrosis and 95% of men with that disease are sterile. I guess you just always hope you’re in that 5%, which is why we went to see the urologist. That’s when we got the news. He has Bi lateral absence of the vas deferens.

The worst part about it is that we are so young; we just got married and bought a house. Were already up to our eyeballs in debt. We just can't afford IVF; in our case it is even more because we need ICIS.

I have a daughter from a previous relationship (which I consider myself blessed to have), but my husband and I want to have a child together more than anything.

I am considering doing a donor cycle to get the money to travel to the Cooper center in NJ to do a shared cycle. I live in Michigan, they only give you 3,000 a cycle and that's not even 1/3 of the cost for my own IVF. I'm at a loss, $3,000 isn't even enough to cover our time off work and traveling expenses to go to NJ to get it done. The Doctor told us not to wait, the younger the better he said. I want to have a baby ASAP as well.

I don't want to cross any lines on this chat group, but I as I said above I am looking for support, but help as well. I am looking for someone to share a cycle at Cooper in exchange for help with the costs on our end. I talked to a rep. from Cooper and she told me that she thought with my profile I would be one of the first one's chosen off the donor list when it goes out to waiting recipients. That doesn't help me if I can not afford to get to NJ or take the time off work, you know? I have an appointment scheduled for Thursday of this week to talk to a fertility clinic about my options, but the consultation alone is $175. I don't know really what I want to do. I don't really like the idea of just basically selling my eggs to a stranger, you know. They get to pick me, but what do I know about them? I just think I would be more comfortable at least meeting or having dinner with the person/persons receiving a part of myself.

I think the shared cycles are great because everyone involved gets something good. I get help with my IVF costs, the recipient gets my eggs, and hopefully we both get babies!!! Nobody is in it for finical gain; it's only for the good of both parties.

A shared cycle to me seems safer to the recipient for several reasons!!!

-First being I have as much invested in the process as you so you know that the vitality of my eggs is top priority, I will take my meds as prescribed and abstain from things as needed to produce a good amount of eggs and good quality. (I have a two year old daughter so my fertility has been established)
-Second I have experienced that Dr. appt where they tell you, you can't have children naturally and I'm willing to share my eggs not only to help my family but also to help another family overcome infertility, and if requested to be an open donation we can provide support to each other through this difficult time, because we would be cycling together.

Well just in case anyone may be interested here is a little about me

I am 22 Years old
I have brown hair, very thick was straight to wavy/after baby went to spiral curls ??
-Brown eyes
-medium complexion
-freckles
-dimples both sides (to some people it's a favorable trait) my daughter also has them.
I am 5'1
small/medium build
I have a mix of 25% Irish, 25% Hispanic, French and Hungarian
Non-smoker
O+ blood type
Christian
I am currently a Nursing student and have always carried good grades and never had a hard time learning or catching on to things.
I am very active and healthy, my husband my daughter and I take a two mile bike ride almost every night.
I love to swim and my daughter does as well

I don’t want it to seem like I am on here trying to sell my eggs. I’m on here because I want to have more babies.

 

anitasto - July 21

If I lived nearby and needed eggs I would definitely do a shared cycle with you. Good luck and hang in there.
Despite what your doctor says about being young - I'm 39 and working on our 1st baby. I think taking at least a little time for some financial security goes a huge long way in reducing stress. But everybody's different.

Also - I would do alittle research and make absolutely certain there's nothing that can be done to improve your husband's sperm. I'm not familiar with the diagnosis, but in my research for my own efforts I've definitely found that the doctors don't know everything and most are not up on the very latest research.
Google has been a Godsend!
Good luck!
Anitasto

 

Misscleo - July 21

Thank you so much for your support. I agree with you. If we can not find someone to share we are going to wait until we are done with school, for now we are going to do a donor cycle and save the money for a later IVF. But that decision is a heartache for me because I want a baby so bad it hurts to think about it, but it is all I can think about, You Know?

 

believer - August 3

hi, im also young and been ttc for 3over 3yrs. you said you were a christian, maybe you should pray about what you want to do. if you do this your daughter will have siblings out there. also what if someone who uses your eggs ends up being a abuser or molester and hurts the child you gave up? these are some things you should think about and pray about.

 

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