ttc after m/c
358 Replies
weazie - July 15

I just re-read my earlier post and there are parts were it doesn't make much sense...lol I was awake at 4;30 this morning after only having 3 hours sleep ...so I wasn't totally with it. I must have started to type something and then stopped to think about what I wanted to say and then started over in parts. Insomnia has been getting me for over 2 months now...think it is all the stress I have been carrying.

 

Slatka - July 15

Hey Denise --

We just got back from a house-hunting tour -- pretty good. We are leaning towards buying a townhouse in Annapolis, MD because it's a great area and we are sort of familiar with it being from DC. We can, unfortunately, only afford a townhouse and not a detached house at this stage in our lives, esp. in this area. We could afford about 50 acres in, say, Delaware, but not around here!

I understood your message! Thank you for sharing your story -- it's not easy to revisit the m/c and surgery and subsequent physical problems, let alone the emotional ones. I had heard varying "reports" about how long it would take a woman's body to return to "normal" after a m/c -- some say 3, some say 6 months. Some say age has to do with it (I'm 33 and it's been 4 and a half months since the m/c); some say age the pregnancy was at the time of loss...I just don't know. I was "only" 6 and a half weeks along, so my uterus was not very big in the first place -- I would guess it has returned to normal size by now, but that's my logic, not what my body actually does. Like you say, I made my docs aware of this, and, though they don't seem concerned because there are no other attendent symptoms (like a fever or bleeding or real sharp pain), they don't have an answer that satisfies me.

Well, let me know if your pregnancy-knowledgeable pals have any info. One of my girlfriends, who is young, 24, took many months after her full-term pregnancy to return to any sort of a normal period, but that's different, I think. I'm afraid to ignore it too much in case it somehow indicates a hormone imbalance (Liz has some experience with this, I know) that can be corrected. Hormones cause the cramping and that's signalling something.

Enjoy the weekend: it's Saturday night!!!! I am trying to be upbeat about it.

Slatka

 

gavinsmommy - July 16

Hi Liz,

Hope your trip was nice. I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you.

 

liz - July 16

Hello everyone. I hope everyone had a very nice weekend.

Gavinsmommy-
Thank you so much for the prayers and support. I have some bad news. AF arrived today. I am an emotional wreck right now. I know I will get better, but right now is not good. I am just so depressed, disappointed, sad, scared and frustrated.

I will write more later, for now I must go.

I hope everyone is doing well.
Take care
Prayers, hugs and baby dust to all.

Liz

 

weazie - July 16

Hi Liz

I am so sorry to hear about AF showing up. We all know how you are feeling right now and we are here for you.

Hang in there my friend!!

Big Hugs for you right now.
Denise

 

gavinsmommy - July 16

Hi Liz,

I am so sorry. My heart sank in my chest. I started crying right away. I feel it in my heart that you are going to carry a healthy child and have it in your arms soon. Take your time to cry , you have earned it. You have the right attitude about it getting better. Right now it is just so hard. I am here for you and so is everyone else, just as you are for us. We need each other to pick each other up and to help wipe the tears. Now is our time to show our faith and our strength and believe that we will conquer this. I am sending you a big hug and a squeeze. I will talk to you later. Please take care.

Big Hugs And Baby Dust!!!!

 

weazie - July 17

Hi ladies

Well today is CD 1 for me, starting yet another month of this journey. I'm actually doing better then I expected I suppose it is because Friday I already knew what the outcome for this month would be. I pretty much dealt with the worse of my disappoinment then and was better emotionally prepared for today I guess.

Liz I hope you are doing better today and despite of AF showing up I hope you enjoyed your weekend away.

Slatka I spoke to a few friends on the weekend about cramping etc. Unfortunately I didn't seem to get any helpful information. Majority of them are still breastfeeding so they couldn't offer anything to answer our questions. The one girl said she didn't have a period for 18 months after giving birth but went back to having normal cycles. The other two said they didn't remember having any cramping after pregnancy. So I guess I will wait for my referral appointment and see what I can find out.

Gavinsmommy I meant to thank you for your story. You made me think a lot about letting go of anger. It is so easy at times to let dealing with my loss and the hurt and frustration every month turn into anger. I am going to work on that. Thank you

Trina, we haven't heard from you, but just want you to know I am thinking about you girl!!

Hugs to everyone and I'll be saying lots of prayer for us all.

 

liz - July 17

Good afternoon everyone -

Denise and Gavinsmommy - Thank you so much for you kind words and support. You know in a way it was so hard to get on and let you know what happened, but on the other side it felt really good. I knew that I could always count on all of you for support. After all you all know exactly what I am going through! The wonderful part of infertility huh?

Gavinsmommy - Where are you at by now? Is it o time soon? How are those little twins doing? I am sure busy, busy, busy!
I want you to know I am praying for you this month. We need something positve on this tread, hopefully you can give it to us. :)

Denise - I am sorry for af's arrival. Boy is she a real pain in the butt, always messing up our plans. Today is day 1 for you and 2 for me. Looks like we will all be together this month again. Oh, well if we gotta be in it atleast we are together. :)

Take care, hugs, baby dust and lots of prayers to for all of us.

Liz

 

Slatka - July 17

Hi All --

I'm just waiting and waiting for af to actually arrive: I had a pink spot on Saturday, then 2 days of light brown spotting. I KNOW af is coming and I hate it when there's this wierd spotting that just seems to waste my time! This exact thing happened to me about 2 cycles ago -- pink spot around CD26 (I ovulate CD16 or 17 -- I have a 30 day cycle), then nothing, then spotting, then boom! af. I wish it was all more straightforward instead of this annoying, prolonged wait.

Anyway, thanks Denise for investigating among your friends. We have to find some kind of answer -- it isn't just the two of us having these cramps. I finally got an appointment at the fertility center for the end of August -- perhaps then we can find some more scientific answers from your referral appointment as well. But, maybe, just maybe, we'll be pregnant by then???

So we all begin again. Hold hands and hope. We cannot just stop, though we often feel like it. None of us are built that way.

Hang in there and stay cool.
Slatka

 

gavinsmommy - July 17

Hi everyone,

Weazie, you are very welcome. I understand fully what you have described from experience. You are already starting the healing process which is a very wonderful feeling.

Hi Liz my cycle is so messed up because of last month, it is hard to say exactly were I am at. Remember I told you the other day about the opk testing, that the line was getting darker and you said I should be ok if I tested by 2pm? I did not get a chance to , so I am basically going by what my body is saying. I had EWCM though at the time I should of tested. DH and I BD anyway, thats all he wants to do now after last months halt. LOL. Do you know if after you you get a positive on the opk if the line still stays? When I first started testing there was only one line and now there is 2 but the other line is lighter. I don't know if I missed the positive or what. The twins have been keeping me on my toes but it is a wonderful adventure. You will all find out very soon how it feels. I have had them in the pool the past few days because we are burning up now in Chicago.I am so glad to see you back. I was so worried about you. I know that you are a strong women like all the rest and you are not going to give into the doubt.

Has anyone heard from Trina? I hope she is doing fine and that she will be back soon.

Slatka are you sure you are not pg? That is exactly what happened to me with the twins. I thought it was AF but it wasn't. I know what you mean about the dodging and ditching AF. Its like if you are coming then get here already! LOL.

Stay strong and keep the faith and Tons of Prayers and Baby Dust !!! BIG BEAR HUGS! :)

 

liz - July 18

Good morning my ttc friends!!!

Gavinsmommy -
I am not sure about the line staying. Did you try reading the box? I vaguely remember reading that test should be read within 30 min. I am not sure if that was opt or hpt. I would venture to guess that the line would probably get lighter the longer it sits, again it is just a guess.
After that last month you had I can understand why you cycles might be a little screwy. I would have to say that if you had a definate line as dard as the test line then you most likely would have ovulated in 12-24 hours after that. I will tell you this when I was using opt test on Friday I would get the dark line, Sat it was a little darker and Sun. I ovulated. Take it for what it is worth, after all all of our bodies are a little bit different.
Glad to hear the twins are doing well. Keeping you on your toes keeps your mind busy too, so that is always a good thing in the ttc challenge. Did you guys get the fish tank all set up? It is very hot here as well. The temp had been in the 90's with the humidity it is over 100! Air conditioning is the only way to go. Last night I waited till the sun went down to go for a walk with Izzy (our beagle). I haven't been walking as much and I really think I need it. Not only for the exercise but for the stree relief, it gives me something to do to burn off some of my frustration.
I haven't heard from Trina, I am worried about her, but then again from pervious experience I know she will be back. She needs a break I am sure, after she gets it she will pop back in and check on all of us. I do miss her, her posts always make me smile, her upbeat personailty and humor get me everytime. Hopefully she will be back soon!

I hope all is well with everyone. Take care of yourselves.
Baby dust, prayers and hugs to all.
Liz

 

Slatka - July 18

HI All --

Af has officially arrived 3, 4 days early -- wonderful. It's not as bad this month, because I knew she was coming so there was less of a let-down. I did my crying this weekend, so I am ready to move on. I'm also on track to finding out why I am having this spotting and irregularity.

Gavinsmommy, About the ovulation predictors, I know (as Liz said, I think) it recommends you test between 10am and 8pm, after a 4 hours urine hold. You should normally see two lines, the baseline line, which is always the same darkness, and your LH level line, which will darker as your LH surge begins. Pre-LH surge, very early on (like CD9 or 10) you might not see another line it is so light, but after a few days there should be another line visible that is lighter than the baseline. To double-check a negative (meaning, no LH in the urine), you wait ten minutes; throw it out after that. I think 30 minutes is too long, but it may depend on the test you're using. My LH surge lasts for 3 days about, then the line gets lighter again.

Hope that helps, though again, it depends on the test you use.

Denise, sounds like we are on the same track this month; I'm on CD1 today, right after you (and Liz, too, I guess, though you're a little earlier). Trying to be excited on new opportunities!

Hang in there -- Slatka

 

gavinsmommy - July 18

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for the information on the opk's. It really hepled me out.
Liz yes we finally got the fish tank set up. It looks really nice. It is relaxing just to sit there and watch them. I think your horrible storm came by and hit us last night. Yikes it was nasty. I am glad you are taking the walks to clear the mind and the soul, it kind of helps you focus. I have a French bulldog puppy who would probably have a heart attack if I took him for a walk.


Slatka I am sorry to hear about Af. I know she is a pain but we need to use her to get pregnant!!LOL. I am glad to see that everyone is staying positive we need this.

It was good seeing you back. Until the next time Big Hugs And Sticky Baby dust to All!!!!!

 

liz - July 19

Hello everyone,

Gavinsmommy - Great to hear you got the fish tank set up. I bet the little ones love watching the fish. :) Thre is something so relaxing and peaceful for me to just sit and watch the fish swimming around. Very soothing.

I had a base line ultra sound this morning....... No cysts!! So it looks like I will get back on the roller coaster for another ride this cycle. I am going to begin taking my Repronex tomorrow. I will be starting with 2 viles instead of just 1 like I did last month. I am very nervous about this, very scared of hyperstimulation. I reacted well with 1 vile (2 good follicles), but the doc would like to do 2 to help get my overies working harder and hopefully produce better quality eggs. They are also going to do post colital test this month. Have any of you ever heard of this one? From what I have researched on the net (what a wonderful tool the internet is) as close to ovulation as possible they have you have sex 8 hours before you go into the office and they take a sample of your mucus. They put it on a slide under a microscope to check the quality and to see if the sperm. They try to get a good look at them it see if there is any problems. I highly doubt it since dh has superman sperm from the analysis they took in May, but there could always be a problem with my antibodies killing the sperm or a mucus problem. I guess all I can do is wait and pray everything is ok. I can tell these next couple of weeks are going to tbe a real stresser for me. :( I will try my hardest to keep busy and keep my mind off of ttc, who am I kidding I am a nervous wreck already.

hugs, prayers and boat loads of baby dust to all of us!!

Liz

 

gavinsmommy - July 19

Hi Liz,

You make me smile with your strength and honesty. We all talk the good talk on how we aren't going to worry but we are not fooling anyone. I think that is great that your Dr. is trying another route with you. I know you are nervous but multiples are alot of fun. LOL The twins love the fish tank, they get all excited when it is time to feed them. There is the possibility that your cm is not being swimmer friendly. I had a friend like that. The poor thing tried for ten years before she switched to another Dr. who then discovered she endometreosis and her cm was atacking the sperm. She now has a beautiful lil girl. Keep the faith , we are all here for you.


Big Hugs And Sticky Baby Dust to all!!!!

 

gavinsmommy - July 19

Liz,

I forgot to tell you that the rollercoaster ride is better than the Merry GO Round! LOL So hang on tight and don't let go.

 

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