ttc after m/c
358 Replies
liz - July 12

Good evening ladies,

Boy are we having a thunder boomer here right now. I better hurry up before power goes out. :)

Gavinsmommy -
Finches, is that a cat or dog? My cat "Peanut" had kittens on July 2. She had 3, unfortunatly 1 did not make it. Now we have 2 little pussers! Signs? Well maybe.

I am getting a little on the nervous side for my testing on Monday. I am not too bad just have moments went I get scared it will be a bfn. Of course, I am praying for the positive, we will see. I still have no idea which way it will go, which by the way is very unusual for me, usually I have "the feeling" by now. I still have the crampy/twingy feeling, it is a little better than yesterday, but definatly still there most of the day.

Is af officially gone?

Trina -
How are you sweetie? I am praying for you.

I better go, dh thinks we are going to loose power, the lightening is really bad.

Take care,
((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) and lots of prayers for all of us.
Liz

 

Trina76 - July 12

Hi everyone, how's life? Kinda crappy on my end I got a bfn today.....Still no sign of a/f, Maybe it's going to be another 40something day cycle???... right now i'm on cycle day 32. Guys, I don't know what else to do. I should have saved my day at the fitness center for to day. I mean I felt so good this morning, now, I feel so sick, and depressed. Didn't seem like the work day was ever going to end. My bestfriend is due the 25th of this month I'm trying to make arrangements to be out of town, because I don't want to attend the babyshower that I am throwing for her(Iknow it sounds so mean). She has 3.5 children and treats them like dirt (all different father) Now me, I'm married, 4yrs now, I attend church regularly, donate to charaties, and all the extra-caricular activites. I spent so much time planning out my life -i was supposed to be on #2 by now.
The summer of my senior year in high school I joined the national guard, after 6wks of basic training I came home and unprotected sex with my boyfreind. And I did not have a preiod that month, i got on my knees and prayed like 10x a day that I was not pregnant. I had so many plans to join the Army and travel. I really loved my high school sweetheart but we had totally different out takes on life (no way we could have been together forever). Somehow I just feel like that messed up my chances of giving birth.....Okay I'm crying now, I'll talk to you guys in a few days .......Baby dust to all

 

gavinsmommy - July 13

Trina,
Sweetie please go easy on yourself. Don't let the demons from your past haunt you today. Once you give into them you will loose control. It is nothing you did. The feelings you have towards your friend are natural, you are only human. When I suffered my m/c of Aiden I hated everything and everyone. I would see these women who would take their children for granted and asked God why was it like this, what did I do wrong. I still today suffer for Aidens loss and always will. I blamed myself for it. I wonder to this day if maybe I would have done something different Aiden would be here. I feel your pain that you are going through, it took me 8 months after my m/c to finally conceive. The whole time up until that day my mind and body were so emotionally and physically out of whack. You may also be testing to soon, give yourself a chance. You have not messed up your chances of giving birth, you will get pregnant and carry a healthy child, maybe even 2 like I did. Please keep your faith. When you can stay focused great things do happen. Please don't beat yourself up over this, you have gone through enough already.I am sending you a big hug because you really can use it . We are all here for you and feel your pain with you. Take it easy , ok. I will talk to you as soon as you feel better. Hopefully it will be soon. Baby Dust to you and everyone else.

 

gavinsmommy - July 13

Hi Liz,
I hope the storm went easy on you and dh. I hate the big booms. My mom has a defibrillator for her heart and in April they think the lightning set it off, which caused her a shock. Finches are lil birds. The funny part about this bird is that she has been laying eggs for awhile now but none of them hatched. Then out of nowhere 3 lil babies hatched and are now out of their nest. It looks like Af has gone off to bug some teenage girl. The only thing is it has messed me up on charting and taking the OPK. My body seems like it showing signs that ovulation is approaching. I have to get some more opk's because I ran out today. The second line looked like it was starting to getter darker today. Do you know if you can test for ovulation later in the day or does it have to be in the morning? Kittens are very comical when they get a little bigger, everything is a toy to them. I know you are getting nervous, because I am starting to get nervous for you. We have to stay focused, ok. Trina is having a tough time and my heart goes out to her. Hopefully the crampy feeling is your lil sprout setting up camp. I will talk to you later, take care. Big Hugs and Baby Dust!!!!

 

Slatka - July 13

Dear Trina --

It was fate I logged on so early this morning to see your post. I started crying as soon as I got up -- feeling so sure I am getting my period, feeling like, yet again, I am not pregnant. Though I am a week away from my "negative" I feel your despair, I constantly wonder if I left this whole ttc too long, I wasted my "fertile" time in my twenties. Oh, god do I know how you feel right now!!! I'm sure most of us do, and I'm sure that doesn't totally help.

When we stare at that negative, when we face another month, we all feel incredibly alone and questioning. At least I do. It takes a little while to peek out and rejoin the living, as I put it. But we do live.

I kept saying to my husband this morning before he left for work, I can't do this anymore. I can't take the constant disappointment, when everyone else around me gets pregnant in a minute. I feel like such a disappointment to myself, to my family, like what the hell can be wrong with me? Everyone else gets pregnant at the drop of the hat...I've watched women who could care less about the kids they have.

But then I remember you guys. I remember that we are here, quietly, perhaps, invisible to a lot of society, but we are here together. I know this may be small comfort in this time, but it is true.

Trina, it is not over until your period actually comes. Though I know the negative feels powerful and definitive. Oh, I wish there was something I could say; it's hard, because I myself am sort of down there with you right now.

Listen to gavinsmommy, to what others will jump in and say later today. We are all with you, just as you have been such a strong support for us. And let yourself cry - that will help it all pass.
That we all find our peace --

Slatka

 

liz - July 13

Trina,

I am so sorry, I feel you pain, disappointment and probably anger. I know you may not want to hear it, Slatka is right it is not over until af arrives. Everyone is different, maybe you just need to give it a couple of days if no af and try again.

I know seeing that neg devestates you, you feel like another month of bad news. You are strong Trina, I have seen you bounce back from a neg before and you did it with such power. You are remarkable, your strength has amazed me over the past couple of months, you are such an upbeat person who fights for what she wants. I have faith in you, have faith in yourself. You will bounce back, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but I am sure within a short time I will log on to find an upbeat, postive message from you that makes me smile everytime.

Trina, in no way are you a bad person for the way you feel about your friends upcoming birth. I think we would all be lying if we said we did not feel this way at times. It is so hard to see Mothers and Fathers who don't take care of their children and yet seen to be be able to achieve preg. by looking at the opposite sex. It is 100% natural for you to feel like you want to avoid the baby shower for your friend, it hurts so badly and I understand. Please don't be hard on yourself, you are a wonderful, amazing, loving, caring women. You need to be proud of who you are.

Sometimes God does not seem to answer our prayers. This sometimes makes us question everything. You must remain the Christian women that you are. Remember God is always watching you and yes he is always there with you even when it dosen't feel that way. Have faith in him!

(((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Liz

 

liz - July 13

Hi Gavinsmommy,

First off I feel like a real dummy. When you said finches I thought you were referring to the name. Duh, they are birds. I am really not usually this airheaded. Sorry.

As for the ovulation predictor test. I have read numerous times that you should test around 2 in the afteroon and you should do it the sametime everyday. So, you should be good if you want to do it later.

Do you know when af officially left? I would think that it woult be a little early if you are already getting a faint line. I thought it was only a week since she left??? Oh, well maybe you have some strong growing follicles. Good for you! :)

I go for a blood test Monday. I am not sure if I will test early, I am too scared of a bfn and that will devestate me. I was thinking I may on Sun. or Monday morning just to mentally prepare myself. Always trying to keep one step ahead.

Take care, tons of baby dust to you, prayers and hugs. I am praying this is your month.

Liz

 

weazie - July 13

Hi ladies

How is everyone doing? I've been really busy with work keeping myself busy these days. I feel like this is the longest cycle ever for me. I ovulated late and am now on cd 30 and my test date is on July 17th. I am suprised but this cycle I am staying calm and even though there has been tons of urges to start POAS I haven't (yes I am an addict) I started charting again because of the late ovulation and my temps are staying high but I have had AF cramps off and on for the last week which makes me not so hopeful. I read that cramping can be a good sign but I'm not going to let it get my hopes up. I look at it I have cramps and I have high temps so I have a 50/50 chance...lol. When i got pregnant in December I had no symptoms other then I couldn't sleep, so not sure what too expect. Just really trying to be miss mellow and be accepting of whatever my HPT result will be on Monday, I am not going to allow myself to be crushed this month if I get the BFN.

Liz I had my docotrs appointment on Monday. My u/s results came back fine from the pain I was having. My doctor is setting up an appointment for me to see a specialist. I was a little disappointed because I thought he would start some testing and thought great even more waiting. I have now realized this is probably a good thing because if he did test and then decided to refer me to someone else it would even be a longer wait. I feel like all I do is wait anymore...lol

I see I have a lot of posts too catch up on. I'm off today from work so will play catch up. I did see the post on this page and want too say Trina keep your chin up, it's not over yet this cycle for you. Even though it is hard we all just have too keep our faith in god and be patient. It will happen for all of us again!! In total I have been ttc a year and half now and I am being totally honest when I say I do not have one single friend that hasn't had a baby or is pregnant right now in that year and a half. Since my d&c in Jan I have been to 4 baby showers and another 6 more to go this year. I am truly happy for all my friends and think it is natural for us to feel hurt, jealous, frustrated or question God..why me? I was avoiding my friends for months and I changed that a few weeks back. As hard as it is I've been going out of my way to ask about their pregnancies, I have been going too the BBQ's sitting with the mothers and the mothers to be. I just figured I can't keep isolating myself anymore from the ones that where there to support me and plus I am hoping that being around them will be contagious and I'll catch it ...lol I am trying the reverse psychology approach.

Lots of patiences, prayers and baby dust too you all!!

Now I will catch up on the posts I've missed.

Talk to you all soon!!
Denise

 

liz - July 13

Good afternoon all,

First let me apologize for possibly giving you wrong information. We seem to have 2 Denise's. I am not sure which one you were asking about when I gave the info about ttc on hold. I should have clarified that before I answered. Sorry if I was referring of the other Denise. :(

Denise,
So good to hear from you. I like you also test on Monday. Anxiety, the only way to describe it.

I must run, will write more later.
Baby dust and prayers to all.
Liz

 

gavinsmommy - July 13

Hi everyone,

Gosh I am feeling so down. It is from all the heartache that you are going through. I wish there was more I could do.
We have to keep our faith. We are not alone in this journey.God has brought us all together and is here with us.

I believe in the writing "Foot Steps in the Sand." There have been several times in my life I found this to be true.
When I was 24 years old I worked as an RN. I sustained and injury to my left leg that required 11 surgeries. I was flown out to Mayo clinic were they wanted to amputate. I didn't let them do it . I flew home angry and with zero faith. I let the anger almost destroy me. I weighed 69 pounds because I had no desire to eat or live. I couldn't sleep and I felt like I was a burden to everyone.
My mom took me to see this priest, his name was Father Rookie. He was a hands on healing priest. I didn't believe in things like this at all. He placed his hand on my head and I began to cry uncontrollably. He told me that I had to let the anger go because it was destroying me. I cried for 45 minutes non-stop. I felt the embrace of Jesus and the safety of his arms. He comforted me. I slept that night like I hadn't in years.

It took around 5 more years without medical intervention but I walked. I have a slight limp and scars. They are the constant reminder that I am a survior.
I felt the same pain and anger when I lost Aiden. I felt the flood all over again. I had to believe in my heart that I would have another child again and that kept me focused. I was blessed with twins , they were a gift for my loss.

I feel it in my heart that I will carry and meet another amazng child of mine, and so will all of you. I was told God would not give us a cross that we could not carry. I truly believe that and so must all of you.

We are tested everyday on our faith. We have to stay focused. I wish I could hug all of you right now. I am sorry I have gone so long, please take it easy and I will talk to you later.

Big hugs, blessing and baby dust!!!!!

 

liz - July 13

Hello everyone,

Wanted to check in an let you know I will am leaving for the weekend. I will check in Sunday evening when I get home.

Have a nice weekend.

Hugs, prayers and lots of baby dust to all.

Liz

 

gavinsmommy - July 13

Hi Liz,

I hope you really enjoy your weekend. Just kick back and relax. Try not to think to much about the testing and if you do make it all positive. Big Hug , Prayers and Baby Dust Blessings!!!!
You will be in my thoughts and prayers!!!!!

 

weazie - July 14

Hi All

So worried I am out for this month. My stomach was cramping really bad when I got up today. I am sure AF is on her way. My temp is staying up but with the cramps I keep getting I can't see any possible way that I could be pregnant.

I just don't understand why since my D&C I get such bad cramps. I never had cramps before other then maybe the day AF started and they were very mild. Now I seem to get mild cramps starting after O and they just seem to get worse as the closer I get to AF. Oh well even though I promised myself I wouldn't get upset I ended up having a good long cry this morning and am feeling a bit better now.

I know it isn't over until she shows up but I really don't want to let myself be hopeful for more disappointment.

Hope you all have a good weekend!!

 

Slatka - July 14

Hi Denise --

I just had to pop in here to commiserate: what you are describing is EXACTLY what happens to me. Post-m/c, I start cramping (mild) around CD14 or so right up until my period (I have a 30-31 day cycle). The cramps never produce anything, so to speak, but they are definitely there. The week before af is due, they do increase a bit; they are always down low.

I totally know what you mean: I seem to hear my body telling me that nothing happened this month way before my period has actually come. So I "know" I am not pregnant even though, like now, I have 5 days left to go before af is even due. I just know, because the cramps are so obvious. So I start crying a whole week before I even bleed, before I even test.

I have told my doc and my OB/GYN nurse all about this trend; I never had anything like it before the m/c. It's like my period/premenstrual symptoms begin 2 weeks before I am due, so naturally I convince myself I haven't conceived, and, so far, I am always right. They don't seem to think it is anything, that hormones are always triggering changes in the ovaries and uterus and I am just sensitive enough to feel them; they have no answer as to why this just started post-m/c.

All I can say, is that I know what you feel -- and I feel your frustration as well. What is happening? All feedback I have gotten is that this is pretty normal, that it cannot interfere with conception, but I can't get a real, firm answer as to what it is and why I feel it only now, post-m/c. We should investigate this, Denise...and try to figure it out. Maybe try your doc???

Well, hang in there. I know it's tough. Take care --
Slatka

 

weazie - July 15

Slatka

Once I get my referral appointment that my doctor is making for me I am going to try to get an answer to why this is happening. I also will be getting together tonight with a few friends that have children and am going to ask them what their periods were like after child birth. I have searched and cannot find any information to help with answers. When I go to the doctors now, even when I had an ultrasound 2 weeks ago they all question are your periods different now. It seems they all know this is common but no one provides an answer for it. My cramps are down low as well I am wondering could it take a while for the uterus to return to pre-pregnancy state and cause the cramping? I've read the first period after pregnancy can be heavy and painful but no answers on continuous cramping.

When I had my D&C they thought I had an Ectopic pregnancy did another U/S ruled that out and said it was what they call a Molar pregnancy. With a molar it is really important that you do not get pregnant for up to a year. The put me on BCP right when I woke up from my surgery. I went into the hospital at 128lbs and left 36hrs later weighing 10lbs heavier because of all the IV fluids they put into. With going right on the pill my hormones just became really screwed up and my breast became huge, bigger then when I was pregnant. After a month we received the pathlogy report back and thankfully discovered it wasn't a molar pregnancy. I went off the BCP that day and lost the weight and my much bigger breast (that part I miss...lol) in a matter of 4 days. I think I have just been blaming the cramping with the way my hormones were thrown out of wack with hpregnancy then taking BCP. Then last night dh and I were talking to dh about how in one more month it would have been my due date. I realized then how much time has passed by and my body still isn't back to where it was before the D&C.

Hopefully we can get some information.

Take Care!!

 

weazie - July 15

I just re-read my earlier post and there are parts were it doesn't make much sense...lol I was awake at 4;30 this morning after only having 3 hours sleep ...so I wasn't totally with it. I must have started to type something and then stopped to think about what I wanted to say and then started over in parts. Insomnia has been getting me for over 2 months now...think it is all the stress I have been carrying.

 

Message:


You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.




Forgot your password?
Need Help?  
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!


Already a member?
Please login below.





Forgot your password?
Need Help?  
Ask a Question