ttc after m/c
358 Replies
Lila - September 9

Hey everyone just got back from ET so I wanted to drop a quick note and will try to chat more tomorrow.

ET seemed to go well this morning so I am home on bedrest. Abby (dog) just insisted it was dinner time so I made my one trek down stairs to feed her and thought I would take the chance to check in. We went ahead and transfered all 4 (basically because in IVF land I am apparently an old coot so 4 is a good idea). Two of them were 8 cell great quality, one was 8 cell good quality (little fragmentation) and the last was just at 6 cell so a little slow. We are routing for all of them but again at my age (38) it would be excellent if one of them stuck around. I've been giving them pep talks and bribing them all day - yes, even at cell stage I have resorted to child rearing by bribery! Willing to try anything.

OK the bed rest/sitting around thing is not all it is cracked up to be - I have watched "The Fugitive", "Perfect Murder" and 3 Law and Orders and I am bored. I keep trying to read but my brain just wanders with all this baby stuff so I just read the same paragraph over and over. Love all the TLC I am getting from DH and the being waited on hand and foot is not so bad but I am ready to be done with this phase. Anyone have a time machine I can borrow, jump forward 2 weeks to see how this thing turns out? Crystal ball? Magic 8 ball? Anything? I went and had a nice run this morning figuring that would be my last for a while - all those times I came up with 101 excuses to not work out and now of course I crave it! Very interesting how this whole things changes you and effects you in both expected and unexpected ways.

OK back to bed, thanks for the chat. Hope all are doing well. Welcome to June First. I will try to respond more tomorrow.


liz - September 9

Hello Ladies -

How is everyone doing?

Lila -
Glad to hear your et went smooth. Now are you awake for that? I was just wondering if it was painful?
I am praying for you and those little embies to implant and keep on growing!
Thats funny you said you are talking to them. Last month everytime we were finished with out bding rountine I would lay there and explain to the spermies which way they needed to go and what they were sopossed to do. The things we do! lol
I can imagine the bed rest would not be all it is cracked up to be. Hopefully you can find somethings to occupy your mind.

Helen -
How are you doing? Enjoying your weekend with the kids I hope!
I am doing pretty well. Today was a good day but as usual I am tired. I think you are all pretty sick and tired of me saying I am tried, sorry! :( When did you get some of your energy back with the twins pregnancy?

June First -
When is your birthday?

Well I must run, my sofa is calling my name.
Hugs, prayers, lots of sticky baby dust and postive energy for Lila little embies!


June_First_2006 - September 9

My birthday is the 12th of this month...I'm so excited I will finally be 21, I swear I'm the youngest out of all of my But I had a question, can someone explain to me what are the stages for cervical positioning. A couple of days ago mine was high and soft and tonight I noticed it has dropped and it's still soft. Anybody's response will be greatly appreciated.


gavinsmommy - September 9

Hi buddies,

Sorry to be checking in so late. Tonight was movie night for the kids. We build forts out of blankets pop some popcorn and enjoy the sweet sound of chaos. Just wondering if you guys ever built forts out of blankets? If not you should try it sometime it takes you back to being a kid. You kind of have some place to hide out away from the real world for awhile and just think about how it felt being a kid again. I know silly right.

June_First_2006, I would take that deal for the free hpt also, Lord knows we spend enough buying them so why not a freebee for once. Is your birthday soon? Glad to hear the rain has let up on you for now, hopefully something fruitfull will come from it for you. They say you need rain to make things grow. Hopefully the witch will land in some pre-teens house and leave you alone. Maybe the way you feel is because you have a lil egg hatchihng. I know when I got pg with the twins I felt like she was standing right outside my door. Take it easy and think positive.

Lila, you lil hen you. Try to enjoy sitting on your nest. I am so glad that the numbers were good to go for you. I think that sounds promising. Isn't funny when someone tells us to get up and get moving we don't want to. Then they tell us to just sit down and relax and we don't want to. We can't win for losing. Talk to them lil eggs and let them know who is boss. Let them know enough is enough and you are not playing around anymore. I don't what I would do if I had to stay in the bed all day, probably worry that dh was messing everything up that I had organized. Well my lil incubator you just sit on my lil cyber nieces and nephews and enjoy. It might be the last time you get to if they all hatch!LOL

Liz, I am so thankful that you are feeling good. We are not sick of hearing that you are tired. We are thankful that your lil ones are wearing you out. I started feeling more energetic after the first trimester. Doc told me that my body was doing the equivalent of a person hiking a moutain everyday. Your body is in overdrive. Just take your time and rest as much as you can. All of this is a good thing, it means everything is working.

I am doing good right now, probably because it is Saturday and Holly doesn't go back till Monday.LOL I feel like a kid again couting the days till she is off and when Christmas break is. I know I am losing it right. Hopefully things will get better for her. I think the stress of her first week has wore me out. I felt like I was the energizer bunny last week, I had to keep going and going. I will talk to you guys later.

Love you's!!!
Mega hugs, prayers, healthy babies,bfp's, gluey growing eggs for Lila, extra sticky cooperative eggs and baby dust!!!!!!


gavinsmommy - September 10

Hi June_First_2006,

I found this site on cervical changes during ovulation. I hope I can paste it on here right for you. I will also check and see if I can find one on cervical positioning when pregnant.What is cervical position, and how do I check it?

During your cycle, your cervix changes it position. Monitoring this, can help you track your fertile periods. You should begin checking your cervical position at the end of your period and check it daily, and preferably, at the same time of day.

There are several positions you can use to check the positioning. Experiment with each, and find which is the most comfortable one for you. It's important that once you decide on a position, you consistently use the same one.

Many women find that sitting on the toilet is a easy position to use, while others prefer to squat or place one foot up on the toilet or tub, while the other is on the floor. You will need to use one hand to hold back the vaginal lips, while inserting the other hand's middle finger into your vagina. Move your finger up until you hit your cervix. It should feel like a rounded cylinder shaped mass within your body. Note the position you find. Does it see far back? lower down? During the beginning of your cycle, and after ovulation, your cervix is in a low position. It raises to the higher position just before and during ovulation. If you are unsure at first which is high and which is low, a guideline is when high your cervix is almost unreachable with you fingertip. You could also ask your OB/GYN or other health care provider to help you find your cervix during your yearly well woman exam, if you find you are still having difficulties checking.


gavinsmommy - September 10

Hi June_First_2006,

Its me again.LOL I found this other information on another site on how your cervix feels when you are pregnant. I hope I can paste this one too. LOL

It is nice to hear that you are interested about the pregnancy facts. I say this because you are pretty young and most of girls your age are thinking about other things. The position of the cervix changes during pregnancy. However, these changes do not occur at the same time in all women. The cervix drops lower in the vagina after ovulation and it feels firm. During pregnancy the cervix rises a bit and becomes softer. But it is important to know that the timing of this happening varies from woman to woman. For some women, this happens shortly before their period is due. Then, for the others, this does not happen until a while, after their pregnancy has been confirmed. Because of this variation, checking the position of the cervix to determine pregnancy is not a reliable indication. If a woman wants to know whether she’s pregnant or not more reliable ways to find out are taking a home pregnancy test or doing a blood test.



gavinsmommy - September 10

Good Night buddies.


Lila - September 10

Hey Helen I saw we were both logged in - how are you doing. I loved your story about the forts brought back lots of memories - not just of childhood! I had a friend in college who (granted usually after partying to hard and drinking a tad too much) would go into the dorm Living room and build a fort with all the sofa cushions there and then pass out. We would find him the next morning very sheepish about what he had done but since it happened on more than one accassion I guess he had happy childhood "fort" memories he was trying to connect to!

Hope you are having fun with the whole brood today. It is beautiful here in DC and it is like tortue to stay in bed most of the day instead of running around and enjoying it. Hoe is weather in the Mid-west?

Liz glad to see you are getting lots of rest that is good for you and the lil ones. When is your next US? Can't wait to hear an update.

June First - I am so sorry for your losses what a terrible time you have had. I hope you are feeling better and ovulex is helping with your cycle. Sorry I can not be of any help with the cervix question but it looks like Helen has taken good care of you with that (isn't the internet amazing!).


Lila - September 10

Helen I forgot to ask - HOW IS PUPPY?!! Does "puppy" have a name yet?


June_First_2006 - September 10

Hello all, how's everyone today? I really appreciate the time you guys take out of your day to answer some of my questions. And as I read back and see some of the comments left stating of how strong I's not tru. Me, GOD, and my baby boy above know how scared I am to do this all over. When I lost my son I never felt soo much emotion ever like that in my entire life put together. I will admit, after losing him I told myself and everybody else that I could not do it again, it takes a lot out of a person to lose something as precious as your child...especially 2 weeks after find out the sex and after being able to place his name in those temporary spots that I had I use to refer to him as my little buddah when he was really calm or lil booga...when he was just being unbearable with all the flips and I would do anything to experience that again.

As you can see I still have my moments of constant crying out for him and just rememberance of the whole thing, of course I will never forget. But...I am trying to not get ahead of myself with some of the things I am experiencing. I took a hpt I think it was negative, the second line I seen was I believe to be a evaporated line. I was one of those cheap tests from the dollar store. I bought it today just because I was My friend still has that extra test I was telling yall about, I will save that for my b-day, before I have my first b-day it comes with turning 21. I have noticed lately that when I bend over or lay on my stomach, I feel a knot or bulge and my B/O has become much more increased also. I dunno, still playing the waiting game...2 more days till I test. Take care and talk to you ladies later on.


gavinsmommy - September 10

Hi buddies,
Lila, I must have just missed you last night. I was probably surfing the net looking for cervix answers. I am glad that I am not the only one who builds forts. I love the fact that you can hide away in your mind for awhile and be an innocent child again. The puppies name is pumpkin. Holly wanted to name her that because she has a reddish orange spotting that is kind of shaped like a pumpkin. I thought it was kind of a cute name to because it is so close to the fall. Pumpkin does not like to be alone. Dh wasn't kidding when he said that I was going to be busy. We bring her in our room at night and put her in her lil dog bed, but the only way she won't cry is if I leave my arm hanging off the bed by her. I swear that my arm is stretching and getting longer. She can be sound asleep and if I try and move it she starts squeaking. How are you feeling? How is the hatching stage going? Please try and relax and enjoy the down time. Don't look at it as if you are missing out on something. Look at it like you are working on something. Between you and Liz with the I got go stuff you are going to give me gray hair. Rest!! Relax!!! Enjoy!!!

June_First_2006, You are still a very brave women to be trying this all over again. I lost my child in April 2002 and I still cry to this day. I think it is one of the worse heartaches someone can go through. A huge part of me died that day. I have alot of people who know me tell me that I am not the same as I used to be. I know one thing for sure now is that I don't take anything for granted. It leaves such a fear in you after something like this happens that you can't even relax when you are trying or even when you become pg. Like you said your son would like some brothers and sisters. It sounds like you might be pg. Can you get an evaporated second line? If you can I did not know this. I think you might have to hold off on the drinks and maybe celebrate your birthday a couple of days later just to be sure. I am really praying for you to get the most special birthday gift ever. Take care and cry when you need to and scream when you have to. This is what keeps your son alive. Talk to you later and I am praying for you.

Liz, How are you? You didn't check in today. You know I am a huge worry wart. If you get a chance just pop in to let us know everything is ok. Praying for you and your lil beans.

How are all of our other ladies? I hope all is well with you.

I will talk to you guys later, I have to go prepare myself emotionally for my daughters day at school tomorrow. I hope all goes well for her.

Love you guys!!!
Mega hugs,prayers,healthy babies,healthy extra sticky cooperative eggs and baby dust!!!!!!!


liz - September 11

Good morning ladies -

Helen -
I am fine. Sorry about not checking in yesterday. I am having a bit of a problem with my in-laws and my dh. I am really stuggling. I spent most of the day crying and feeling sorry for myself. I think my hormones just make it all so much worse. Well if I can ask you to please pray for me and the strength to get through some very hard times I would greatly appreciate it. Boy, I guess I ask for a lot. lol Prayers for my little beans, prayers for me and my sanity. Sorry.

I was on vacation last week, so today is my first day back to work. I must say it stinks. :( This morning I struggled to get up at 5:30 and ready for work, struggled to drive here and then I struggled with the feeling of vomiting for the first 1 1/2! I haven't felt this bad in the am for a while but I think it has to do with the up so early and eating before I am ready. When I am off I tend to wait to eat until I am hungry, usually an hour to an hour and a half after I get up. When I am wroking I am forced to eat sooner and move quicker. Oh well these are the pains I can handle to know my little ones are growing bigger and stronger.

You are coming up on the end of your 2ww right? How are you feeling?

I love your little puppies name! Pumpkin, that so cute. I bet you have your hands full. I remember when we brough Izzy home, she was a challenge for a few weeks. The only way she would sleep in her crate without crying constantly was for dh to lay on the floor aside of her crate and put his fingers through the cate, then she would sleep.

I hope Holly has a good day at school today, let us know how she made out.

Lila -
How are you feeling my dear? Ansy I am sure. The weather was beautiful here too yesterday, I can imagine how hard it must be. Enjoy your pampering from dh, you deserve it and you need it too! When will you get your beta test?

June First -
I agree with Helen, I think you might be preg. I was not aware of the 2nd line evaporation line. Is that possible? I tested on 10dpo and had a faint 2nd line, took 3 more tests till the next day when I went for my bw. All showed positive! I thought it was pretty unusual to get false positives.

I am sorry you have gone and continue to go through such a rough time. You must allow yourself to grieve, you must allow yourself to cry.

Work is calling so I must run. Talk to you all later.
Hugs, prayers and lots of baby dust to all! Lila - extra implentation prayers for your little embies :)


Lila - September 11

Hey Helen

I think Pumpkin is a wonderful name. Kudos to Holly for thinking of such a clever name! Hope school is much improved for her today. I think if they keep rushing lunch so much all the parents should get notes from their pediatricians explainging why eating under stress, in a rushed manner like they insist is not good for the kids and send all the notes to the principal and ask him to explain why so little time is being allotted to lunch. I mean no disrespect but it not like they are rushing 6 year olds through luch to give more time to calculus or something. Teachinggood eating habits is as important than any other lesson that school hopes to impart to their kids. I really just do not get it. OK I am done wit my rant - sorry.

Are you up to HPT time? I am hoping for a positive for you.

June First I apologize my mind is a little foggy right now but I forget are you working with an OB or an RE? If you are not working with an RE in might be time for you to think about that if possible. Have them start running some tests to see how they can help you.

Liz sorry about the MS - hope you are feeling better soon. Also hope the In-law issue has been resolved and has ceased causing you stress. How goes the big dig? Is the foundation poured yet? Must be very exciting to come home each day and see a little more progress. Each step no matter how small brings you closer to that dream house. Yea!

I was going to work today but decided to take one more day of rest. It being 9-11 I just decided to be quite today and reflect. Hope everyone else is well.


gavinsmommy - September 11

Hi Buddies,

Liz, I am so sorry to hear that you are having troubles. Let me tell you though nothing is as important as those lil babies are. It is not worth getting yourself all worked up over something that will smooth out in time. Let it go and think of yourself. I tend to still get worked up in certain situations still but when I was pregnant with the twins I said to hell with it. The situation wasn't worth the risk. It will all pan out in time. I will definately pray that you have some peace of mind also it is not a problem. Holly had a better day today controlling herself. I am rather upset with this teacher though. I sent her to school with some kleenex because she is starting to get a runny nose and I told her to use it if she needed to. She went to get one out and the teacher asked what it was and she told her it was kleenex, then the teacher told her not anymore put it on my desk. Holly did as she asked and then ended up wiping her nose on her sleeve because the teacher kept telling her to put her hand down. I swear Liz I just want to scream. It is so frustrating to stand by and watch the way some people treat our children. Holly said everytime she raises her hand she tells her to put it down. I don't understand how this can be helping her to learn. RRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!! I took her temperature a lil while ago and now it is 101.5. I am going to keep her home tomorrow. She is the type of child that when she runs a fever it goes off the charts. I have spent many a nights in the ER because she had over 106.6. I knew this was going to happen once she started school. She has to take tylenol and motrin every 4 hours to keep it under control. I could just cry right now. I am sorry. I think I am going to take your suggestion about the puppy and put dh on that side of the bed. I myself am on I think cd 24 or 25 I can't rember to well these past couple of days. I had some spotting on cd 19 and on and off cramping since then. I have know clue, but I have af like symptoms. You take it easy ok and protect your lil beans from the stress. I will be praying for you and the beans.

Lila, I agree with you with this lunch situation. Remember I told you the other day I sent her with a lunch, well she did not have time to eat that either. Her room has to come down from the third floor and their 20 minutes starts then. Holly told me the other day that she almost choked because she was trying to eat. That blew my lid. I am going to see what I have to do about this, who knows I might even take it to the news because from my understanding it is like this in all the schools. I also love the name Holly picked for the puppy it really does suit her. I hope you are resting and I am so glad that you decided to take another day to rest. Like I was telling Liz I have a couple of days on my cycle to go before I know. I hope you ladies are right and I get a bfp. I really could use it right now. You rest easy and take it easy. When is your test day? Once again take care.

June_First_2006, How are you?

Oh my I have really gone on , sorry.

Mega hugs, prayers, healthy babies, extra sticky cooperative eggs and baby dust!!!!!!!


June_First_2006 - September 12

I'm doing ok, right now I am just having the slight cramping in the lower pelvic and abdominal area...and I also have a sharp pain on my right side every once in a while. I have been taking ovulex and green tea for 20 days now, so I'm not sure if these feelings are from the ovulex or if it's finally regulating my period, and I will be starting soon...who knows. My cm is still going strong...feels like I have started my period at times. Well I dunno, I'm just playing this by ear, whatever happens happens. No doubt I will excited if I was pregnant but I'm not stressing it too hard. I have learned in the past, it's when you're not trying you'll suceed. Going


gavinsmommy - September 12

Hi June_First_2006,

I just wanted to tell you Happy Happy Birthday. Keep your chin up buck-a-roo!!!!!!




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