ttc after m/c
358 Replies
liz - August 23

Hello Ladies -

Lila -
You are always welcome on this tread. Even since I have conceived I just feel like this thread has been such a blessing for me. I know the title is ttc after m/c but that dosen't mean that anyone who can relate to the ttc roller coaster can't join in. I met wonderful women on here and just can't bare to leave them. I do tend to not talk about my preg to much because I know how it feels to be on the other side. I don't want to talk about something that hurts others although I am very happy and I know everyone here is as well.
How are you doing? I am constantly losing track (I think I have a little too much on my mind these days.) Where are you at in your protocol?

Helen -
I didn't realize you had another little girl. Wow, you sure do have alot going on no wonder you are emotional. Your little/big girls first day of school. That is both very exciting and yet very nerve wracking for Mom.
I am really sorry to hear you little girl is still having the troubles. What did your priest have to say when you talked to him? I was hoping he would have some good ideas for you.
I know what you mean about the Ovulax. I am sure you are nervous about continuing to take it. Has it been about 3 months now? I am not sure what they say is the normal amount of time to do its job. As for af being more intense this month, try not to think of it as bad at this point. I know I always bled a great deal more when I had better ovulations. I would tend to have more clots and such. (Sorry, not the best topic). Hang in there it may not be as bad as you think.
You mentioned Vitex. I never heard of that, what is it?

As for me I am good. Very very tired, feel like I could sleep all day long. It is making it very hard to work everyday, but thankfully I am only working about 7.5 horus a day for 4 days. Hopefully I can handle that if not I will have to cut it back again.

They broke ground for our new house on Sunday. It is amazing. We went away Friday night and came home Sunday to find a big hole in the ground where our house is going to be. I am very excited, but still in kinda shock that all this is happening at one time.

I must run, work is calling.
Take care everyone.
Prayers, hugs and lots of baby dust to all


 

gavinsmommy - August 23

Hi Liz,

My lil/big girl will be 6 in October. I didn't think I mentioned her. I think talking about my m/c and then the twins being the result afterwards was the focus. I am hoping things go good for her when she starts. She is a lil social bug with everyone. It seems like everywhere we go someone knows her. It seems she has a better social life then me.LOL.

I hope you are right about af being heavier because of a good ovulation. I didn't realize that this happens. My gosh you should know with everything that you went through to get where you are right now. I know what you mean about being tired. With the twins I felt like I had narcolepsy. My eyes didn't seem like they wanted to stay open. One thing though, after my first trimester everything got better. The twins pregnancy was easier on me then my daughters.

I am so happy to here that they broke ground on your new home. You have to be so overjoyed. How long did they say before it would be done?

This is my third month on the ovulex. Vitex is one of the main herbs in ovulex, the other women on the ovulex thread said that it is the one that balances out your hormones. Dh suggested that I order more of it, because he feels like it helped my af despite the first month. He also said wait and see how this month goes before I get to concerned, I seem to do that alot. I hope you are both right and that this is a good month also.

Please let us know how your pregnancy is going, I am sure the other women feel the same. I know the other women thought it would be best to start another thread because of us who are ttc, but sometimes I feel like we are kind of being shoved out. Even though they mean well.

Please take it easy and rest as much as you can. I am glad you are not working as long because you do need to rest.
Take care of your lil sprouts and yourself!!!

Praying for healthy babies!!!!!!

 

weazie - August 24

Liz

Congrats on the 2 lil beans!! I know you must be so happy but scared like you said. I already wonder how I will react if/when I get pregnant again. That is great that they broke ground you must be starting to get excited. I am sure it will also help with keeping your mind a bit pre-occupied as well. Make sure you keep getting as much rest as you can since you are so tired.

I am still waiting to here back from the RE for what our next step is. She is the one that actually did my HSG and said they were just waiting to get other test results back. I'm going to take advantage of having the HSG done and bd like mad. I read that it can increase a females fertility by 30% for the first 3 months after having it done. I'll be due to ovulate on Sat or Sun so it'll be a busy week. Actually I am already noticing CM which is a surprise because I always seem to have a lack of it.

Helen
Oh my I just read the poem Treat her well. I can see why it got you so emotional. I'm the youngest in my family and I remember my mom telling me she was so upset the day I started school. I was such a little suck and my mom was being brave and the strong one on the way to school. Well don't I get there and let go of her hand and just give her a bye mommy...I was such a trader...lol No tears, no fuss nothing at all. My poor mother just bawled all the way home and all that day.
I hope you start to feel better emotionally soon and try to keep your spirits up. Think of all the pictures she'll make for you and how she'll be so excited to come home and tell you about her day.

I've been feeling bummed out as well. In another week it would have been my due date. That one is hard to take. I also can't believe 7 months have passed since the miscarriage and I am still not pregnant. I've had two friends that just gave birth in the last 3 weeks. I finally forced myself to go over today to visit one of them since I hadn't seen the baby yet. Then the cherry on top was to find out one of my nephews is going to be a daddy...UGGH I am going to be a great aunt before I am even a mother, my mother is going to be a great grandmother before I give her another grandbaby. Really when I think about that one I have to laugh not only are all my friends around me having babies but my Nephew?? LOL Now thats pressure!!


Take care all

 

liz - August 24

Hello Ladies -

I am extremely tired this morning. It took all I had to get out of bed, ready for work and drive to work. Now I am here and feel like putting my head down and taking a long nap. I was up till 9:30 last night and up at 5:30. I guess maybe my body needs a little more sleep than that these days. :)

Helen -
I am sure you little girl will do just fine in school. As a little social butterfly she should make friends very easily. Is she excited to go to school?
Your very welcome about the info on better ovulations. My cycle before the last I had 2 very good follicles at o time and since I did not conceive af arrived 2 weeks later. She as horrible, heavy, very crampy and clots. I remember this because I asked the nurse at the re's office about it and she said that could be because of the good ovulation I had had now my body needs to shed it. It does make sense so like I said try not to worry too much about your "different" af.
If the Ovulex has worked for you I would have to say I would continue if I were you. I know it has been scary with the never ending af and then some other little bumps along the way. but maybe just maybe your body is still adjusting and it will only be a matter of time till you are straightned out. Were you diagnosed with a hormonal problem?

Denise -
I am sorry to hear you have been feeling bummed. The anniv of your babies due date is hard. I went through this July 5 and I will not lie it was so unbelievable hard. In the days leading up to the date I tried to "talk myself" out of the depressed state. It did not work, that morning I woke up and felt like a ton of bricks had fallen on my shoulders. The day was rough, I cried a great day and spent most of the days feeling sorry for myself. I made it through and once the day was over I must admit I felt a bit stronger. I made it throuh. I have always felt that my little girl is now an angel and I know she watches out for me everyday of my life.

Yes, getting a bfp is not walk in the park after you have been through miscarriages. One day at a time is all I can do right now. I really try not to get my hopes up, try not to think about 9 months from now, but this is hard. I am happy to finally become pregnant and want to enjoy it, it is just hard to relax.
I had never heard that about being more fertile after an hsg. Very interesting. Let me just tell you that I always had a cm problem (or lack of). Last month I had a lot and this was also when they did the post colital test to check. I have no idea what made it different that time but something did and that was a big part of my luck, I think.
I am crossing my fingers for a good month for you.
As for everyone around you preg. That is again tough. I know this all to well myself. When I was ttc I felt that every women I saw was preg. Everwhere I went I saw someone preg. I personally do know now anyone who is preg right now so atleast that part was alittle easier but still it is always hard seeing preg women when you want to be so badly. I was preg in 2003 and due about a week later then my girlfriend. I had a m/c, she continued along to have a beautiful little girl. It was hard for me and birthdays for her still are a little hard at times because I always think about my little one I never got to meet. I love my girlfriends little one, she is a precious joy, I try to look at her as a blessing and really do try not to feel sorry for myself.
Hang in there, sweetie. I assure you that your day will come! No matter how hard it may be at times I can not stress enough to keep the faith. It is ok to get bummed, it is ok to cry or whatever you need to do to let it out, but always remember to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on. It is the hardest thing I had to do in my life but I do believe if I would not have kept the faith that it would happen for us it would not happen. I believe attitude has a great deal to do with this whole process. I never really felt this way before beginning this journey. I think my dh has a great attitude about stuff like this and he was an inspiration to me to keep the faith and keep pushing myself forward.

Boy of boy have I gone on and on this morning. Sorry for the long post. I guess I am sad to see my friends down and want to help you feel better.

Take care ladies.
Many hugs, prayers and lots of baby dust.
Melissa



 

gavinsmommy - August 24

Hi everybody,

Denise, I am sorry to hear you are down. i know exactly how you feel. Every November the 7th I tell my lil one Happy Birthday and that I love them. I try and celebrate their birth even though it never happened. It is a very sad day for me on this day because the reality sets in even harder. I know that this is a child that I never got to hold,love and watch grow. I also let my lil one know everyday that they will not be forgotten and that someday I will be able to hold them. I am sending a cyber Happy Birthday to your lil one with a big hug. I know our lost children know we love them from the tears we shed for them. Even though we have been kind of down on this thread we are not done until we accomplish our goal and dreams. We are still here for each other even though our own battles seem to be getting a lil harder. We love you Denise and we are sending you mega hugs at your time of need.

Liz, I have not been told that I have a hormonal problem yet but who knows our bodies are always changing. My daughter has a love,hate thing about going to school. I think it is because she really doesn't know what to expect. I have tried to explain it to her but I don't know how much she understands yet. I hope she is like Denise and heads off without a hitch in a way. I think it will be harder on me if she has a hard time because I will feel like I am betraying her in some way. I have been her everything since her first breath and now she is heading off into whole new world without me. It is not easy, but I know I have to. I think I might try the ovulex again to see, maybe you are right I just need more time. I hope you can get more rest so you are not wearing yourself out. Can you get to bed a lil earlier at night? I know I try around here and it doesn't work.LOL I am sending your to lil beans a cyber hug and mega prayers. Please keep us up to date on how you and your lil ones are doing, it gives us hope and joy.

Mega Hugs,prayers,cyber shoulders,healthy babies and extra sticky baby dust!!!!!

 

liz - August 25

Hello Ladies -

Helen-
I can not imagine how hard it must be for you to watch your little girl head off to school. I can believe that it would be very hard to see her off to do something without you. I would guess this is the first of many hard times ahead with letting go of your baby. I like you am sure when that day comes for me I will be a wreck, not wanting to let her go. My dh is 33 and his Mom still won't let him go. lol That was to make you all laugh (we need that too!)
I am sure she will be just fine but I am also sure she has a great deal of mixed feelings. Leaving Mommy everyday to go someplace different, the unknown, is hard on anyone especially a little child.
When is her first day of school?
Please don't feel like you a betraying her. You are not and I know without a doubt that you are the best Mommy anyone could ask for.
I would go with your gut when it comes to Ovulex. If you feel it is working for you keep going girl. You are the only one who can judge how you are feeling and if it is helping then I would recommend you keep it up. Sometimes it just takes time for your body to adjust to the herbs.

Denise -
I hope you are feeling better. It makes me sad to see my shared journey friends sad and depressed. I just want to reach out and hug all of you and take away your pain.

I must run, its time to go to Dairy Queen. Must have my ice cream.

Talk to you soon, have a great night.
Many hugs and lots of baby dust to you all.

 

weazie - August 25

Hi ladies

I hope I didn't come across wrong in my post when I said I had been putting off going to see my friend's newborn. I am so happy for her I guess my big concern is how I would react when I seen the baby. I guess I was worried that I would not be able to hold out and be extremely happy for her blessing the whole time I was there without showing my own sadness. The other girl that had a baby was the girl I worked with. Her due date was two days before mine but she had her little guy early. I had my miscarriage and never breathed a word of it to her because I never wanted her to feel uncomfortable around me talking about her joy. I guess that is my problem I am more worried that because of my miscarriage and not being pregnant yet I will make the ones that have their little bundle of joy or are pregnant uncomfortable around me. Does any of this make sense??

Liz I guess with the HSG they say it can flush out any mucus buildup or bacteria in the tubes and that is why it can increase fertility. So I am being hopeful although it is strange I haven't ovulated yet but my temperature is higher then what it normally is before ovulation. I am hoping for a peak on my fertility monitor tomorrow.

Hopefully the tiredness passes for you Liz. I am sure with all the changes going on with your body right now and having 2 lil ones in there it is to be expected.

Helen, Thank you for your kind words and your support. You have a good outlook on not forgetting the precious ones we never had the pleasure to hold in our arms. I hope you are feeling better emotionally as well and that all is well with your little gang at home.

Have a good weekend all and hugs!!

 

liz - August 25

Hello Ladies -

I am going to make this short and I am dead tired. We had a funeral today at our church for a member who passed away from cancer at 52. I was working in the kitchen for the luncheon and on my feet for 4 hours. I am just exhausted. Today I think proved to me I need the extra 2 hours of rest they recommend.

Denise -
I did not see anything wrong with your post about your girlfriends baby. I actually understood exactly what you were saying. I too would have felt the same way and to be honest I admire you for waiting because you recognized you may not be ready. We are all different and how we deal with things is different. You did a good job and should be proud of yourself. You are a very caring person and I knew what you meant when reading your post.

That is very interesting about the hsg flushing you out. It really does make sense. Good luck to you and keep the positive attitude. Bding here you come! :)

Helen -
How are you feeling? AF still sticking around or has she moved on?

I will talk with you all a little later. Rest time is calling.

Take care
Hugs and lots of sticky baby dust coming your way.

 

gavinsmommy - August 25

Hi everybody,

Denise, I also understood what you meant. You are truly an amazing and caring person. You are a very strong women to set aside your own feelings so that you may not hinder someone who is dear to you. I have a feeling you are going to get your bfp soon. I felt this way with Liz and bammo here she is sitting on two lil eggs. I am feeling a lil better emotionally right now the only thing that is really bothering me is a nasty sinus headache that has been hanging around now for 4 days. It isn't bad enough my emotions are up and down now I have this pain in the butt headache. Keep the same amazing attitude you have and you will be getting your bfp soon. It took me 8 months after my loss to get pregnant with the twins. My af was so messed up after my m/c and it kind of still is to this day. Take care and I am praying for you and your soon to be future lil one.

Liz, you need to SLOW down.LOL You are not super woman. My af is still here, I think and pray that she may be going away soon. It is kind of tapering off but who knows, especially after the first month. How did the lil ones like the ice cream? How has your appetite been? My morning sickness wasn't to bad with the twins. I was a lil nauseated but always hungry. I craved both sweet and spicy foods with them. As far as the ovulex I can't really complain except for the first month. Last month my cycle was actually good. I hope you get some well needed rest, I will talk to you later. I have to go check on dinner right now so if I get a chance later I will see how you are doing.

Much Hugs,prayers,healthy babies and extra sticky baby dust!!!!!!!

 

Lila - August 26

Helen: Best of luck on Monday I am sure she will love it she sounds like a great daughter. And at least in the mean time you still have the twins and I am sure they will be able to kepp you more than busy at home! Sorry about all the issues youa re having with the Ovulex hope things even out for you. You are one of the most positive people and I am sure your turn is just around the next bend.

Weazie that sounds great about the RE appoitment tell us what she has to say when you meet back with her. I was told the same thing about the HSG getting things good and ready so have fun and BD away. I am with the other girls I did not think you said anything wrong before. What you said was actually were thoughtful and caring - do not be hard on yourself.

Trina if you are still out there I hope you are healing and finding a way through this dark time. I wish you nothing but the best and hope you are getting better.

Liz - How goes the BIG DIG? I can not believe how much you have heaped on your plate right now but it is all very good and positive stuff so enjoy (but take lots of naps as well). I think we have lost Aimee and Slatka on the other thread so I will just keep posting here now it that is OK.

Hope evryone has a great weekend. I have nothing to report I am still just stitting around twiddling my thumbs waiting for AF (Helen if you are done with her can you please send her my way I am getting very discouraged that I am going to hav eth cycle cancelled if I do not get anything by Tues - that will be day 14 of the Lupron shots) so please keep your fingers crossed for me.

Talk to you all later

 

liz - August 26

Hello Ladies -

Lila -
It is so good to hear from you! I was wondering how you were doing. You are very welcome to post here, I actaully encourage it. I missed you.
Sorry to hear about af not showing. Why is that when she is uninvited she shows her ugly face and when you need her she is nowhere to be found? Ughh how frustrating. Can they give you anything to encourge her along? I am not too familiar with the ivf process so please forgive my maybe sometimes very stupid questions. :( Maybe you can help educate me! I had thought I read somewhere that there is something that they can give you to bring af on but who knows sometimes I think I read too much. lol
Ground breaking is going well. They started last Sunday and the footer was put in this week as well as the perimeter drain, and the plumbing. Then they delivered 90 ton of stones and Frank had to rack them out. Luckly he had some help but he was beat. I feel bad that I am not more of a help right now but I do think he understands. Right now my job is to build babies while he works on building the house. ;) The walls will be poured eaither Monday or Tuesday of this coming week. That is the really exciting part to see it come out of the big hole.

Helen -
I am not superwomen?! :) Just kidding I know I need to take it easy and I really am. After yesterday being on my feet for 4 hours I really did learn I can't do it! I suffered last night with leg cramps pretty bad. I thought they had gone away but apparently I found out what makes them come back. Standing! I think this has more to do with the cysts then pregnancy. Today I am cleaning but I will tell you it is a long process since every half hour I take a 15-20 rest. You do what you gotta do!
Is Monday little/big girls first day of school? I wasen't sure of the exact start date for her. How are you holding up?

I am going to get going. Talk to you all later.
Lots of hugs, sticky baby dust, prayers and fingers crossed for Lila and her impending af arrival.

 

gavinsmommy - August 26

Hi my buddies,

Lila, Oh my gosh it is so good to here from you!!! You better stay here with us. I am sorry to here about your dreaded aunt playing games with you. I think mine maybe done toying with me. I will gladly send her on her way to you. I am going to cyber send her to you, here she comes!!!!! Let me know if she found her way to you. My daughter will be starting her first day on Sept. 5th. The school had to change the start day due to some renovations. So I get to keep her here with me for another week. I agree with Liz with af, I think we need to have a lil talk with her about what we are trying to do!! LOL. I am so happy that you have decided to stay on this thread with us, like I said before our goals and intentions are all the same. I hope af comes a knocking so you can get the bd a rocking! I am still contemplating the ovulex thingy, I am not quite sure what to do yet. I think I will see how my cycle goes with the rest of what I have. If it looks promising I will order some more. How have you been besides af driving you nuts? Did the tell you after the Lap. that this might happen?

Liz, I know we think we are all super women!!! Then all of the sudden we find out we are human.LOL. You sound great. I am so happy for you. Who cares whether it takes you all day to get the cleaning done. All you can do is the best you can. I am glad you are taking it easy. You know what your limits are. I am so happy for you with your home being started. I am really sure your dh would rather have you taking care of his lil brood then doing something else.

I on the other hand am going out on a date tonight with dh! :) Yes me, I am going to get all gussied up and be an adult. Yipphee. It has been such along time since the 2 of us have gone out alone I think I have forgotten how to act. LOL. I don't know if you guys are familliar with a dinner and a movie theater but that is were we are heading. Wish us luck on our date.

Talk to you later.

Love you girls, mega hugs, prayers, healthy babies, extra sticky baby dust and Lila's af to find her house!!! :)

 

liz - August 27

Hello Ladies -

Helen -
How was your date last night? :) I hope you had a good time. What exactly is a movie theater? I haven't been to one of them in so long I forget what it is like. lol.
Frank and I went out to dinner last night. I was way to exhausted to cook so I told him he was taking me out. Worked well.
Today it is raining here so we are forced to be inside. For me that is great since it is another good exucse to cuddle up and read my book. For Frank it is a bummer since he has work he wants to do outside before the wall get poured on Wed. Oh well we do need the rain.

Lila -
How are you feeling? Any sign of af?

I will talk to you alittle later.

Many hugs and lots of sticky baby dust to you!

 

Lila - August 27

Hey all!

Helen I hope you had a great date last night. DH and I do not even have kids so we have no excuse but we made it to the movies for the first time in about a year last weekend. Finally went to see The Devil Wears Prada and it was very cute. What did you see? Recommend it? Good or bad I bet it was nice to have a quite night out alone with DH hope it was wonderful.

Liz I have no idea if this is a good or a terrible idea but I thought it sounded cool and I thought of you when I heard about it so I thought I would just go ahead and mention it and see if you wrer interested. I have a friend who was just telling me about when they were pregnant with their last child they rented a doppler radio thing so they could hear the baby's heartbeat at home any time they wanted. She said it was only about $20 a month to rent so not too bad. I know you are not quite there yet, and like I said I do not know if this would make things more stressful for you (always trying to hear it) or if it would relieve stress to be able to listen inbetween appt to make sure there were no changes. I hope this idea does not offend you I just thought it was cool and worth at least passing on the possibility of it.

Weazie hope you are well. Any new info from the RE?

 

liz - August 27

Hello everyone -

Lila -
Thanks for the info. and please don't feel that you would offend me in anyway. I actaully think that would be great to hear the heartbeat whenever you want. It would give me some reassurance. I do wonder when you would begin using it and I also wonder how hard it would be to be able to find the heartbeats? Do you have any idea where your friend found to rent it. My only concern would be like you said if you can't get the hearbeat you would get yourself really stressed out, atleast that would probably be me. Worry, worry, worry that is all me! lol
How are you doing? Any symptoms of af?

I must run, sorry to make this so brief but I must rest I am beat!

Talk to you soon.
Hugs and lots of sticky baby dust.

 

Lila - August 27

Hey Liz

I think she said the website was "Stork Radio" but if not try googling fetal doppler and I think a ton will show up and that may be the best way to learn about what they can do and how and when they work.

As to AF I finally did start spotting and called the nurse and she said yes that is all that needed to happen so I am on my way in tomorrow for bloodwork. I was starting to feel better about all this till I got back some answers to a few question from Dr Jacobs and know I am completely depressed again. Why oh why can nothing be easy or go according to a plan with all this stuff. It is like there is some deity up there who just loves to come up with new and improved ways of testing us and our ability to deal with frustration. OK I am done venting. Talk to you all tomorrow after I go to the clinic and see what they have to say. I just keep reminding myself that they are an excellent clinic with great CDC statistics and I just have to have faith in them and their experience and expertise.

Thanks

 

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