Post of ttc stories and advice...bored
3 Replies
Amanda Ivey - December 17

Re:Husbands
« Reply #25 on: Today at 10:38:49pm » | Reply with quote | Modify | Remove

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Hi
All,
I would like to share my ttc experience with all of you and give the only advice that I know every relationship differs but it might work. I have learned through my experience of ttc that not everyone reacts the same to stressful situations or the loss of an unborn child. While TTC I was so stressed that whenever my husband didn't react the way I wanted him to I would lash out on him, soon after I realized that if I didn't stop doing this I would going to push my husband, bestfriend, and partner out of my life so one day we decided to just have one LOOONNGGG talk and not talk about it anymore, but express our hurt through holding eachother and at the same time consoling eachother. I then started to take notice to all the little things he would do as well as the big things while ttcing, Like stand outside of the bathroom door while I took my ept and when it came up neg, he would grab me and hold me. On BD nights he would decorate the room with flowers and candles and always hae a card lying on the bed with something sweet written on the inside for me when I came home from work, Doing research of his own and making suggestions. We would spend most of our stressful nights quiet lying together and holding one another(when you are quiet there's no room for an argument) I was still stressed and I know he saw it because, 2 months later he told me that he didn't want to try anymore...I spent the whole day crying I even made a post here about it, it boiled down to he was tired of seeing me stressed and sad and feeling like I maybe I wasn't good enough, so we decided until the time came we would just appreciate and focus on the family we had, me, him and our 2 dogs (his german rott and my little chihuahua) well that next month I found out I had gotten pregnant a few days after that conversation, it was DEC the 13th and I wrapped the ept inside the box and wrappe the box also, when he arrived home that afternoon I told him he had a christmas present, he opened it took a look and asked what it meant, I told him pos and he didn't say a word,just stood there with a fearful look on his face and told me that he was happy, even though it was not the reaction I was looking for I learned to read him and knew he was still afraid from the two miscarriages before, he proved to me how happy he was through out my whole nine months, my not allowing me to do anything but eat and watch t.v and shop along with him because he wanted to carry the bags. He would cook clean, do the laundry and bring me plates of food. At 7 months when I had a cold he refused to let me get anything for myself he even wiped my nose a few times when I thought he was just handing me the tissue. I say all this to let you ladies know that things do get better so hold on love eachother and hang in there. I am so glad I decided to stop letting the stress of having a child drive us apart....I could never have prayed for a better friend, husband, and life long partner, nor could I have never asked for a better dad for my now 3 month (almost four,,,in 2 days) son.


P.S. I was afraid also, but I really don't suggest just sittng around for the whole nine months, I spent 27 hours in labor and 1 1/2 on pushing boy was I pooped and out of shape.


Just shared this for encouragement, take time to notice the good that he does

 

liz - December 18

Amanda,

Your story really touched me, I am sitting here at work with tears running down. Your story is both very romantic and inspirational.

I think our husbands take a lot of abuse from us both while ttc and while pregnant. I know often I look at my husband and wonder why he does not seem as excited. I know deep inside he is, he is just as scared as your husband was and so very afraid I would hurt again.

Thanks for sharing, your story should be an inspiration to all us women.

Liz

 

lili246 - December 20

Amanda,
I actually had the time to sit and read your post. wow with all you've said me me feel so confortable fromt he inside. After my m/c I keep thinking that it might happen again, but you are right first of all before trying to concieve again we have to take all that stress that we have and calm down, let things happen on it's own and let it be a surprise I know for sure what you mean and I will relax and take all that stress away. I want to be ready so when I start tying again which maybe this January I want to be all prepared and relax. I want things to go smoothly because from my last pregnancy I think that I went to fast that things didn't turn out the way I wanted them to be.
Thank you for your advise and I will have it in mind.

I love you and thanks alot, hope that your baby is doing well.

Love Lili

 

lili246 - January 23

Applebottom2 ,
Have faith girl! Everything will be ok. Be positvie and you'll see that your lil one will be 100 percent healthy.
Let us know what you find out!

I will be praying for you!

Love Lili

 

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