Lili
90 Replies
liz - November 5

Lili -

I just wanted you to know I am thinking about you and praying for you. I haven't seen any posts from you and was concerned.

I know you are going through an extremely tough time rights now. I also know you need time to heal and mourn.

When you get a chance please let us know how you are doing. We are all pulling for you.

Take care,
(((hugs)))))
Liz

 

gavinsmommy - November 6

Hi Lili,

I am just thinking about you sweetie. I know this is one of the toughest times in your life and it makes no sense sometimes. It will take you time to heal. I just want to know we are all here for you and miss you. God bless you and may he help you heal.

Take care and much hugs,

((((((((((((((((((( BIG HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))

 

lili246 - November 6

Liz and gavinsmommy,

Thank you girls for all your support, I am feeling better, but the sadness is still in my heart. The surgery went well and had no problems. it's just that it's so hard to recover from the big loss of my baby. I try to forget about it but it's so hard. One day I was so happy about my lil angel and the next day it was the worst day ever the loss of my baby. But I know that he/she is in good hands noone better than God he will take care of my lil angel and one day I will know how he/she looked like. I know that my lil angel will be looking after us and taking care of us. The only strength I have right now is my 2 year old baby boy, he was so excited about his lil baby and now it seems that he knows about it even though he is very small to understand. I will try for another baby soon. I want to get pregnant soon because I know that god had something reserve for me he will reward me soon and I just have that faith because with faith everything is possible.
Thank you for all you support and God bless your family.

Love you girls,

Lili

 

gavinsmommy - November 6

Hi Lili,

I am so glad to hear from you. Sweetie remember one thing, you will never forget your lil one. In a way you wish your mind and heart could just erased but then that is not what you really want. My lil one that I lost would have been 4 tomorrow. I mourn the baby who I have since named Aiden every day and every anniversary. I celebrate what would have been my childs next birthday. I go out and buy a lil stuffed animal and put it away. It might sound crazy but it helps me feel better that I can remember my child in this way. Hug your lil boy as much as you can because I when I lost my lil one my daughter was the same age. She knew even though she was young that mommy was suffering. They are very keen and they pick up on everything. After all we are the world to them.

I know after my m/c the only thing that kept me going was her,my dh and the thought of concieving again. It took me 8 months later and I was blessed with a set of twins a boy and a girl. So God is very good. Let yourself suffer. You need that. It is a part of the healing process. I remember the day I lost Aiden I was so angry and distressed because it was a gorgeous spring day and everyone elses life around me was going on. I felt like a thief in the night came and stole my child. Like you said the day before you were joyous and the next day you felt dead inside. We all know the feeling. Don't be to hard on yourself. You will soon see that God and your lil angel will shine down upon you.

((((((((((((((BIG HUGS FOR YOU))))))))))))))))

Please take care and let us know how you are doing. Please vent when you need to we all understand.

Love you Lili,

Helen

 

gavinsmommy - November 6

Hi Lili,

Here is a website I found after my loss. I hope I can paste it on ok. Here goes. Miscarriage and Infant Loss Memorial Jewelry, Sympathy Gifts . If it didn't paste right just type it in on search and it should take you to there. I bought the necklace from there so it was always close to my heart. To me it was a constant reminder of the lil one I lost. It made me feel good to remember. I thought it might be something to consider to help you as you heal.

Helen

 

gavinsmommy - November 6

Hi again Lili,

Try this site, this is the one for sure. www.LaBelleDame.com


Take care,

Helen

 

lili246 - November 6

Helen,
Thank you very much for your support, you girls make me feel beter. Even though my heart is still sad, I am trying to be strong for my family. I know that my lil one will look after us from heaven, he is our Angel.
We will try again and get pregnant hope that god helps us get pregnant fast. With a healthy pregnancy. I still think about how bad it feels m/c and hope that this won't happen to me ever again. It's a bad feeling that seems the world is falling all over me. I know that I am not the only person going through this and that lots of womens have gone through this and hope that god helps us not suffer this way. I feel so much better talking to you that you really understand me because your girls have gone through this in the past and you girls know the terrible feeling.
I just have faith that god will bless me with a wonderful pregnancy and a healthy baby soon! I will never lose the faith I have.

I love you 2 Helen and thank you very much for helping me and leading me the way through light.

God bless your family!

Are you pregnant?

~Lili

 

June_First_2006 - November 6

Hang in ther sweetie, you and I both know it isn't something you will get over, but you are grieving correctly which is good. You will conceive again and it will probably be alot easier than before. But you have to think about getting yourself right first. When did your ob/gyn say it's ok to try to conceive again? Take care you are in my prayers.

 

gavinsmommy - November 6

Hi Lili,

You are very welcome and I am glad to be here for you just like the other ladies. We all know the feeling of time standing still. It never makes sense but there is a reason unfortunately for everything. The empty feeling you are having inside will be replaced with the love for your angel. It takes time. Time can be so long and hard in times like this. If you can try to keep yourself busy and treat yourself to something as often as you can. You deserve it. Try to make it something you enjoy a whole bunch. It helps keep the mind busy. I know there will be the down times where it is quiet and then you will grieve. You need to let yourself do this.

I am not pregnant yet. I am praying along with you for another healthy child. God is good and he will answer our prayers. June_First_2006 is right you will probably get pregnant a lot quicker this time. Please follow the dr.'s advice on how long to wait because I was told after my m/c to wait at least 2 months because you can run the risk of another m/c. You don't need that.

Please take care and I along with the other ladies will be here for you.

Love you Lili,

Helen

 

lili246 - November 6

June_First_2006 and Helen,
I love you girls and without you I don't know what would of happen to me. Your support has done alot to me by understanding Gods decisions that sometimes don't make since but he only knows why he does them.

When my doctor told me the bad news about my baby she told me that I can always try again within two months. I do really like to get pregnant again but at this time it's too soon to forget what had happen which I know that I will never forget and I will always have my lil one in my heart. But the thing of a m/c is to soon and hope that it won't happen to me again. it's something terrible that I wish noone goes through it never. But I will pray alot to God and hope that he helps me with a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby in the near future.
Like I said I go back with my doctor in 11-14-06 and I will talk to her about whats the best thing for us to do.

Girls, is there a high risk of a m/c after you had one? Does anyone know?
I hope that I get pregnant soon and have a healthy baby God will listen to my prayers because he knows how much I want another baby.
I will pray for you Helen because I know that you need it.
Hele and June_First_2006, are lil angels probaly are going to be good friends just like their mothers. They are whatching over us from Heaven.

god bless us all!

~Lili

 

gavinsmommy - November 7

Hi Lili,

You are doing the right thing by giving youself time. The doctor will let you know what is best like you said.

I know when I lost my lil one the dr. explained that 1 in 5 pregnancies ends in a m/c. I also had the testing done on my child and the results were inconclusive. They said that the baby was perfectly normal and that led to and unexplained loss. That made it even harder on me. My doctor recommended that I take folic acid tabs everyday after the miscarriage because it cuts down the risk of something going wrong as the baby is developing. As far as I know the risk don't run higher after the first loss unless the dr.'s find that something is wrong. You already have a healthy son so the chances of something going wrong again I believe are not that high. Please let me know what they tell you when you go back about what they determined the cause to be. I hope this helps you some.

Take care of yourself.

Love ya Lili,

Helen

 

lili246 - November 7

Helen,
I told the doctor if they can examine my baby and see what had been the cause of the m/c and she said that if we want to go deeply the cost will be so expensive she was tallking about 2 to 3,000.oo dollars and thats because most insurance don't want to cover them. So she said if it's something that she could see right away she will let me know. I will aske her again once I go to my appointment next week and ask her if she knows the cause. I hope she tells me something because I want to know what happen. I did all my best to take care of myself and can't find an answer of what might happen. I do have a healthy son and hope that if i get pregnant again it will be another healthy baby. I will keep praying for you and me helen.
God bless you!

~Lili

 

gavinsmommy - November 7

Hi Lili,

I know what you mean about the extra cost for testing. Maybe the doctor will still be able to tell you something that she saw. It kind of helps if you know what happened. I know you did everything you could to have a healthy baby. It is nothing that you did. These things happen, sometimes you get an answer and then sometimes you don't. God is watching over you and you will have another healthy child. Its funny because you love your children no matter what but when things like this happen it makes you apreciate more how precious life is. It a real eye opener. Thank you for praying for me to I will continue to do the same for you. I know are lil angels are watching over us together up there.

(((((((((((((((((( BIG HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))

If there is anything I can do just ask please and I will try to help as much as I can.

Take care,

Helen

 

lili246 - November 7

Helen,
With all you have done for me is something that I really appreciate because you have giving me the supoprt I needed. You are such a help and it really helps taking to someone that has gone through this because you know how I am feeling, you can really understand me and know what I am talking about. Our lil angels are watching over us and they will always be in our hearts.

I do hope that the doctor at least tells me something that she saw and give me some explanation of what might of happen.

You are right about what happen made me open my eyes and appreciate what I have. I love my lil precious boy and he is the reason that I am living. He is my strength and I am so happy that I have him. I thank God for giving me this lil boy that he is the most important thing in my life. Same with my DH he has giving me so much support and has been here for me in this difficult days. If you heard that people say that men don't cry that is so wrong because my husband was crying with me when he heard the news about our lil angel. I just thank god for opening my eyes and look at the world as a different world and hope that he can bless me with twins so I can recuperate the loss one. I know that I will not compare then but at least bless me with another lil one.
Well take good care and I'll keep you posted.

God Bless your family.

I have great news I call the ultrasound place and asked them if I can have a picture of my baby and she just called me back and said that I can go and pick it up so I am on my way to pick it up before they say something else. The day I had the ultrasound they didn't give me anything any pictures or even see my baby and that makes me feel even more sadder.

~Lili

 

gavinsmommy - November 7

Hi Lili,

That is wonderful news about the u/s. I am so happy they are giving it to you. I know what you mean about people not understanding how the man feels. My dh was devastated when I lost our lil one. I ended up having the m/c at the hospital. The doctor never said a word to me the whole time. He acted like he was just checking me. I saw the look on my dh's face because he could see everything. Lili I knew by looking at him that something was terribly wrong. The doctor then informed me in a callous way that I just had a complete m/c. I was crushed. They just sent me out of the emergency room like I just lost a tooth. You could hear me and dh crying as we were leaving. I don't know what I would have done without him. I asked him a couple of days later what was it that he saw and he said he could see them taking what was our child and sticking it into a coleslaw like container. To this day we both break down over the loss. I know it is just so hard. I am very happy to be here for you Lili. Soon you will be blessed with another healthy child. Maybe even 2! :).

I am praying that they have an answer for you also. I know that it would help ease some of the pain. I am so happy that they have a picture for you. Thank God.

May God bless and watch over you and your family.

Helen

 

lili246 - November 7

Helen,
I will be blessed if I get 2 in my next pregnancy. My grandma from my dad's side had twins not identical but they are twins and they say that the grandkids are the ones that can get twins. So if God permits he will bless me with two and there I will be ganing my loss child. I will pray for God to bless me at least with one child if he wants but I hope that my next pregnancy is healthy and my baby is born in great condition. I have faith that it will happen this next time. And it will be soon. I will wait two months and then plan on concieving again.
The sad thing is that if my baby was to be born he/she was going to be born around June 7, 2007 and my birthday is June 16 so it was going to be around my birthday how excited it would be but God knows why he did this and I understand him because he will bless me soon with good news.
Helen, lets pray together so we can concieve soon.
So tell me more about yourself. How many children do you have?

Well girl take care, and I am happy because I have the ultrasound pictures of my baby and I will treasure them forever and remember my lil angel forever. Atleast I have something to remember my Angel and that makes me happy.

~Lili

 

liz - November 8

Hi Lili and Helen,

Sorry it is taking me so long to respond. Lili, you have been in my thoughts and prayers I have just had a really hectic past couple of days.

You are an amazing strong women Lili, I can tell by your posts that you have the perfect attitude. Like Helen, June_2006 and many other women who have gone through a loss know it is hard and there is nothing that any of us can say to make it any easier. I have a strong faith and I believe you do too. I think it helps us get through. Some may disagree with my beliefs but I honestly believe that God has a plan. It may not be obvious to us right now but he has a plan and some day we will may understand.

Your angel is exactly that, your little boy/girl in heaven watching over you and your family.

How is your little boy doing?

Miscarriage is often one of those unexplainable occurances. There is no way of telling if this will happen again. I have had 3 miscarriages and the loss of my twin in this pregnancy, I worry alot about miscarriage but then I have to keep reminding myself that I must keep my faith and keep postive. Often times (I am sure you heard this 100 times) miscarriage happens because of chromosome abmoralities and there is nothing that you can do to prevent it. The good news is that it is rare for this type of miscarriage to happen repeatly, although anything is possible. The best advice I can give you is live for today, try not to look back and try not to worry about tomorrow. For me focusing on today is often the best way to handle anything challenging.

I hope you are feeling a little better each time. Remember keep the faith always.

(((((((((hugs))))))))))))
Liz

 

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