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I guess I am surprised they go right to IVF just b/c of the vasectomy, but maybe that's how it works with a vesectomy when its not reversed. His was not reversed? Does your husband have a really low count then? I would think they would verify you ovulate fine and your eggs are good quality, lining is good, and do the hsg test...
I am just trying to see if I can give any advice. In terms of the loan, I know Shady grove's (In Maryland/DC) website talks about financing options, check it out.

Good luck today.

It was negative, thanks for asking though :). Feeling a little better today, the weekend was hard, I never felt good about it but was trying to be hopeful. I want to try again but I am frustrated about how the whole process went, took 2 more months then originally planned to get to the transfer and then to bad news. The money and the emotions make it hard to get back on board. Regrouping w/ my doc over the phone Wed. Did you end up having your meeting?

I hate to hear that. I'm really sorry for you. You are right about money and emotions. I'll be paying this off for a long time and I have nothing to show for it. I'm just so angry. No, I haven't had my meeting yet. It's been too difficult for me to get off work to go so I've rescheduled it a few times. That and I'm not sure I'm ready to hear what he has to say. I hope you have some good news Wednesday. I'll be thinking about you. :)

My doc has no answer for slow development, sperm looks fine, only reason seems to be the freezing. Seemed to thaw fine but just grew slow from there. Anyway, I am doing another cycle now, I picked a new donor and will share her eggs w/ one other recipient. They were able to give me a small discount this time. I'll probably be doing the transfer sometime in Jan. if everything goes smooth.
Have you talked to your place or given more thought on what you want to do?
I hope it works out that you can try again. I may have asked you already but did your husband have a reversal done? (just curious how that works). You probably already know this but you can deduct a big part of your 2010 ivf costs for taxes if you itemize (everything over 7.5% of your AGI). I am doing every penny of my unreimbursed health care! It helps some. Keep in touch!

It is so weird that you sent me a message! I had this page minimized on my computer to send you a message later today! We must have good chemistry.

I have not gone to my doctor yet. I've had to reschedule several times. My appointment is now Monday the 29th at 2:00pm. I'll send you a message that evening or Tuesday.

I'm so glad you are trying again. Don't you hate waiting though? January seems like forever when it comes to embryo transfer. The discount is nice, too. I'm hoping something like that is offered to me Monday but I doubt it. Several of my nurses told me their hours were cut because of less business due to the economy.

My husband and I have tossed around the idea of a reversal now but it's been 7 years since his vasectomy and I'm not confident of successfully conceiving after a reversal. I've looked up statistics but have you heard anything personally about it? I told you how much we've spent. Frankly, we have nothing left to put toward another round of IVF or a reversal without seriously doing damage to our retirement savings and life insurance policies. I wish I had a rich relative! Take care of yourself and yes, I will keep in touch. It's been really nice talking with you.

I just know of two people that have had reversals and were pregnant several times after, and this person was over 35. I am sure you can read lots about it online. Not sure how the cost compares to ivf or what your hubby is willing to do. How many mature eggs did you produce and how many fertilized? I don't think you mentioned that before. I assume a lower % fertilized b/c of the vasectomy.
January does seem so far but the holidays will hopefully go fast. Donor cycles have ups and downs so as long as we stay on schedule I am fine. Not surprised about your clinic. My place is busier than ever, I think b/c its one of the few good donor ivf centers w/ financial options.
Good luck next week!

So my appointment didn't go well. My doctor said I apparently have an egg quality issue. He doesn't recommend a reversal because of the amount of time that has gone by since the vasectomy. He said my only options are one more cycle of IVF (he said it would be worthless to try again after that) no later than spring 2011 or try donor sperm and see how I respond to that method without medication as medication could be the problem. However, we have NO money left so I guess we're done. :(

I don't quite understand his advice. Why does he assume you have an egg problem....(b/c of the slow embryo development?) Why wouldn't he recommend you do a blood test for FSH, that is an easy way to get indication on follicle count/egg quality. I thought your issues were most likely related to the lack of sperm. And if eggs were the problem what good would sperm donation be?
And why just one more try? b/c it would be three x? not sure if I follow him on that. You never mentioned what happened on your first ivf, what was outcome...same slow development?
I just read online after 3 yrs. V. reversal is not as successful, I assume its been longer than that.
I wouldn't completely give up. You are still young. I think you should maybe consider talking to a different RE (anything closer to home?) and look into testing your egg quality. Regroup and maybe you can save up $. Never know if one of you changes jobs and you end up w/ fertility coverage. Trying to be hopeful for you, I feel bad :)

So how are things going for you?

Hi! Things are finally moving w/this next cycle, lots of delays during the holidays. The donor and other recipient both dropped the ball a few times. I don't get it, you would think this was their top priority? If all goes well, donor will start her meds the 15th. I am trying to stay really positive. So afraid that we will have delayed development again, it bothers me so much that it can't be explained. But I have to move on and stop dwelling on last time. Money is out the door (ughhh!) now I am looking forward to filing taxes and getting back some of what we spent in 2010!
How about you? I know you were feelng like that was it. Any thoughts of talking to an OB or meeting w/ a new RE? A friend just recently told me her son was conceived w/ ivf and her husband had had a vasectomy many years prior....she tried 3x and was finally successful (it always took and then she would miscarry). I was just really curious what happened on your first try, did the embryos develop on schedule?

I'm happy to hear things are moving along for you. You are right about the frustration with unexplained failures. You would think that since doctors are able to even do these procedures that they would also be able to understand what goes wrong. And yes, money is out the door for me too. And I do feel like that was it. I'm very depressed but learning to hide it. Not very happy with life right now. :(

Anyway, the first time the embryos did develop ok, but were just a little slow. My estradiol levels were all really low though so the second time my doctor wanted to try the Lupron Flare Protocol. My levels were much better (always more than double the first time) so we thought that it was going to work but the embryos never did develop into blasts. The first time at least one embryo implanted but I ended up having a chemical pregnancy. He told me I have an egg quality issue. That doesn't cut it for me. I want to know more and why but he said he can't explain it; that's just the way I am.

So how did your friend pay for all the IVF cycles? I'm curious because I'm REALLY broke now and am looking for alternative ways to pay for it again.

The person who did ivf 3 or more times said it got very expensive but I think she had money saved (her husband is an attorney too), but she did say on the last try her insurance had changed and that round was covered and she thinks she was much more relaxed b/c the $ was stressing her out that time. It was her last frozen embryo that stuck.
I am trying to figure why your doc is making assumptions on your egg quality. Do you know what your FSH # was and how many follicles they saw w/ you (and how many eggs were retrieved? If it was all w/i normal range they assume egg quality is fine. However, I know I have heard many times that sometimes egg quality may be bad even though the indicators show normal. That's the only thing I can think of as to why he is saying that w/ no real explanation. How many eggs did they get from you each time?
It makes me sad to think you have to give up, but I wouldn't go into debt w/ no end in sight either. I wish it were easy for you to change jobs to an employer that covers the costs, that would solve some problems. Conceive magazine publishes the top employers w/ fertility coverage every year if you want to google it.
It does sound like you need more answers as to what your condition is, I think you should keep searching first, then worry about whether its feasible to do ivf again. Are you anywhere near maryland? I know you could do a phone consult with a doctor at Shady Grove to get a second opinion w/o having to drive somewhere. You would have to send in all of your medical records, but then you could get an appt. w/i a week or 2. I recommend checking out their website.

I have no idea what my FSH# was. I think he's saying I have an egg quality problem because the embryos have never developed quickly and the second time they never made it to the blast stage. I would like to have tests but my insurance doesn't cover it and he didn't suggest it, so no closure there.

I researched Shady Grove's website this weekend. From what I understand they have several facilities in different states. I live in Southern Ohio so I don't know if they would be able to treat me. I also saw where they offer the Shared Help Program for eligible patients. Too bad they aren't closer.

Less than five days till everything gets going! Good luck! :-)

Do you live near Cinci or more east near Marietta? I am in Cleveland. I jsut assumed you were across the country! Small world. So what clinic have you been using? The Cleveland Clinic is really good for ivf but they don't do too much donor and you have to pay a ton, no egg sharing plan.
Actually, Shady Grove is a pretty easy drive. It took me exactly 5 hrs. to get to Frederick, MD (where I stayed and another 30 minutes to my clinic in Rockville). Rockville is the big donor egg location, not sure which location they would want to see you, but Frederick is probably the closest....only 3 hrs. from Pittsburgh. Anyway, its totally up to you, but its worth contacting them and going through a phone consult. They'll take as much time as you want to ask questions. Then you can go from there. I did everything in 2 trips. The first was an all day visit for tests, get husband's sperm, and to meet doc in person. Second was the transfer.
So your insurance doesn't cover testing for infertility? I wish I could lend you my insurance coverage. The FSH is just bloodwork, they may have done it in your general testing. How many folliciles did they see when they were retrieving? If you were over 10 then chances are your FSH is ok. I hope I don't sound like a know-it-all 9not my style), but I read a ton on this b/c I had a terrible FSH of 25. He may be right on the egg quality but I would want another opinion, and at your age its less likely that the eggs have problems. Ughhh.... If we only had answers! I talked to my nurse Friday all about this. Bottom line is there is no answer on my slow development. We know we had good eggs, b/c the other recipient is pregnant. Could be sperm (not likely they say b/c of ICSI), could have been the freezing, could have been a fluke. She told me I have to get it out of my head and look forward to this time :)

I can't believe you live in Cleveland. I thought this whole time you lived in Maryland. I live in Portsmouth. I went to Bethesda Fertility Clinic in Cincinnati. It's about a 2 hour and 15 minute trip for me. I know we had different procedures done and I'm afraid I would have to travel a lot; I did each time before and the travel expenses alone are outrageous. (Geez, what happened to the gas prices?) However, I think I will call and see what they offer. Maybe some things could be done locally. I really don't want to give up yet.

If I remember correctly the first time my doctor retrieved 9 eggs and the second time he retrieved 12. I know that both times he consistently told me how disappointed he was in my progress; he wanted 15-20 eggs because of my age.

That is very sweet of you to want to lend your insurance. That would be nice! Mine doesn't cover ANYTHING. I have a good job with the county I live in but since the downturn of the economy my hours have been cut back, no raise in 3 years, and my insurance is more expensive. It stinks. Plus all this. :(