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silli_kitti - August 20th, 2005 4:06 PM

YIPPEE!!!!!!

I'd been cramping for three days before AF was due - I was so sure this cycle was another failure that I went out and bought 2 bottles of wine to drown my sorrows in.

When AF didn't come 14dpIUI, I went for the beta, and it was +++++++++++++ !!!!!

Now, I know I'm not supposed to get too excited yet. I have to go back Mon. for a repeat beta to make sure the levels are rising appropriately, but I can't contain my joy. It's been such a long journey - a year of trying, 4 failed medicated cycles - it just HAS to work!

Hubby said from the very beginning "four is my lucky number." I guess he was right!

I am kinda worried about the cramping though........its still happens on and off.

I'll keep those bottles of wine handy........

HeatherMac - August 20th, 2005 9:01 PM


YEA! What great news!! PLEASE keep us posted about your results Monday and enjoy your weekend!!

Again, congratulations!! I hope we see MANY MANY MANY more BFPs soon!!


HeatherMac

justme - August 20th, 2005 9:03 PM

Wow!!!!!! I will keep my fingers crossed that your levels keep rising! That is just fantastic!!!!! What an answered prayer.

FYI, I cramped with my pregnancy, and felt like I was going to start my period for a couple of months. Everything was fine, and I have a beautiful 3 yr old daughter.

BEst of luck!
Justme

WantsBaby2 - August 21st, 2005 7:28 AM

Silli Kitti,
Congratulations! I wish the best for you and your new little one. I hope your levels keep rising and rising. Here's to a happy, healthy and uneventful pregnancy.

cassandra - August 21st, 2005 8:18 AM

Sillikitti, congratulations on the positive beta #'s! This is great news. Keep us posted on the next results! Just fabulous! cassandra

silli_kitti - August 21st, 2005 2:17 PM

Well just great.

My RE's office called today and said they are "quite concerned" that the beta was so low (37). They expect to see around 100.

Basically, they implied I shouldn't hope for too much and went into the whole "if it miscarries, its not your fault, there's nothing you could have done or not done, no medications would help, its just your body's way of saying its no good."

"But the good news is that its positive!" they said.

Gee, thanks.

Trying in NH - August 21st, 2005 4:37 PM

I am so sorry for that crushing news!! Hopefully they were wrong and your numbers will be up on your next blood test. I will keep my fingers crossed for you.


Fortyfour - August 21st, 2005 9:26 PM

Silli Kitti - I will pray for your numbers to double every 2 days and that your little one continues to grow and grow. Enjoy every moment no matter what happens . A miracle has happened. Take care and keep in touch.


Megan - August 21st, 2005 10:21 PM

Silli_Kitti,

I will be praying for you that your numbers double and that this p/g works for you. Please take care and know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.

Meg

Debie - August 22nd, 2005 3:36 AM

Silli Kitti

Congratulations on the BFP I wish you all the best. I have heard of happy mommies whose numbers were low in the begining. I trust you and Little bean will be just fine. You are in my P&PT.

Debie

silli_kitti - August 22nd, 2005 2:36 PM

Thank you all for your tremendous support. I am barely hanging on by a thread here and you ladies are really the only place I feel like I can let it loose and cry and complain and get angry and then get hopeful again.

Unfortunately, I have sad news. I went for a repeat beta today, and my level is rising, but far from doubling. They told me to repeat again in two days, but it doesn't look good. I should expect bleeding at any time.

I'm feeling like I am not meant to be a mother and its killing me inside.


I think that, if we had infertility issues, it might be easier to handle, since failure is almost to be expected. And when failure comes, I would be able to rationalize it. But when there is nothing wrong, how, after a whole year, can it not get done? Does my clinic suck? Am I really just too old? Has some Higher Power decided that it just isn't meant to be? DAMMIT, why is this not happening?!!

SMS1129 - August 22nd, 2005 3:38 PM

Silli Kitti,

Wow, I read your post and it was like deja vu. I had a similar experience recently. But, do not lose hope because GETTING pregnant is a great sign of possibilities!

During my first IVF in June, my beta was 56 and they were like..."Congratulations, you're pregnant!" But I wasn't too excited, because I had read about hcg levels. Then 2 days later, it went up to 96 and again, they were congratulating me, but I knew it hadn't doubled. I has so hoping that the next week at my first u/s, they would validate my pregnancy and not my fears. Well, unfortunately, it wasn't meant to be that time. I am now going for my ER tomorrow for my second attempt. I am very hopeful and I know that you and I are both meant to be Moms and that it will happen. If not this time, then the next. I do hope this is it for you and your levels will rise. But if they don't, I just wanted you to know it is possible to move forward again.

My thoughts are with you,

Sue

Karen123 - August 23rd, 2005 9:26 PM

sillikitti - I am so very sorry to hear this news. I too hope that all is fine and it's just a slow start. My heart just breaks for you. I'm teary eyed here and wish there was something, anything I could say to help. I pray that you hear good news or find the strength to go on and become the mom that you deserve to be.

Sue, you sound like a strong woman who will continue until you also become the mom you deserve to be. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Karen

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