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Samantha, |
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It is not your fault you had the m/c. To not think it is your gault is hard. Society makes us think it is. People think it is something we do to the babies but actually it is usually a bad embryo. my hubby and i got into a fight after my 16 yr old ran away from her dads and I lost the baby 10 days later. He tried to blame himself for making me upset but I dont think they are that fragile. I think we would have to do something that would be a danger to our lives in order to endanger theres. It was not a strong embryo. |
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I completely sympathize with your feelings. Before my latest IVF I have been having pains in my right ear. Finally I saw a specialist and was diagnosed with something called TMJ. My jaw cracks and hits the nerve causing severe earache pains. Because I couldn't take the drugs he wanted me to I have been suffering. If it gets too bad I take tylenol which they say is ok. Although they say it's alright, I still get nervous. It's nice to know it's not something we do to cause m/c, but the embryo itself. Last year I went through a list of things in my head that I did to cause a m/c but you know, it doesn't help now to worry about everything I do. |
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Its nice to hear the opinions of other women that have been in my position. I guess it's just to easy to blame it on bad embryos, I always think there has to be more to everything. I have been trying to keep my head off of the subject so that I can concentrate on ttc, but that just brings on more thinking.. and quite honestly im a little obsessive about the things I do... haha. But your thoughts have helped.. thanks a lot! I have to give it to those of you who have been through so much more than me. You are very strong women! |
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Samantha... what you are feeling is perfectly normal. When you think you might have hurt the baby... remember how many babies are born to alcoholic mothers... how many babies are born to women in 3rd world countries who don't get proper nutrition.... it is hard to hurt a strong embryo.... that being said, however, you need to ask your doctor to check all the various antibodies that can cause miscarriage. Without genetic testing, no one can tell you what happened, but be assured it was nothing you did. |
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Well the part about alcoholic mother is what makes it so hard to forget. It's hard to understand why a woman who does not want a baby at all, and abuses her body during pregnancy can give birth to a baby, and women that want babies, lose them. I've witnessed it around me so many times. My own sister got pregnant and wanted to have an abortion because it was her third and she didn't think she could handle it. (Of course she came around..and I have a beautiful little nephew..) But it angers me, and I'm sure all of you can relate with me on that... Its just ...pardon my language....CRAPPY! But i guess there is a reason for everything.. although at times its hard to comprehend.. Maybe god just needed a few more little angels..I hope we all eventually get what we're looking for.. I find out at the end of April whether this month was successful or not.. I'm impatient already... Once again ladies, thanks for all the support! It really has helped! |
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Samantha... I know we all experience anger in varying degrees at varying times. just come back here to vent it and you'll feel better. I know I'm feeling pretty angry at the moment myself.... i look at my family and my brother has 5 children (1 an accident post-vasectomy) and my sister has 3.... i'm only asking for 1 at this point... just enjoy the anger-free moments as best you can and take a deep breath when a big wave of it hits you and just survive through it. hang in there... we're all here for you!!! |
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You are so fresh from you m/c. Those first few months are so hard. You are brave to try again now. Good luck and I hope you are pg. |
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The way I look at miscarriages (at this point anyway) after years of pain from the one I had, it is nature's way of taking care of embryos that are not strong. Now that that is said.....if I find out I am pregnant on Friday....I am scared to death of another miscarriage. I think when you have one... it is in the back of your mind that another one is possible. I know that there is nothing that we did to cause them, but it still hurts ALOT. Miscarriages are right up there with infertility....they stink! |
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I agree completely Lindsey! I'm trying REALLY hard to not worry about it. cassandra |
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yes... they stink!!! :-) but.... as long as you are taking care of yourself and doing everything you can to stay healthy, etc.... it is not in your hands..... save your energy for the things that are in your control and pray for the things that are out of it... |
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The support is very much appreciated. I am trying hard not to thin k about that and to concentrate on staying healthy and trying to conceive. Thanks again.. :) |
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I get sick to my stomach when I think of being pregnant again and getting to 10 weeks when we did our last u/s and found no heartbeat. I could not bear that again. Good luck to all. Remember 85 percent of women who have had m/c go on to have normal pregnancies. Take care |
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Hello I read what you wrote the first time and didn't read anyone else's so I don't know the opions you have gotten but I truley feel for you and it put tears to my eyes, I am new here and haven't yet read much of everything going on. If you haven't already been told it's not your fault and try agian that's what I will tell you. I am so sorry and wish you the best. I know how devastating it is just know what if it is meant to happen will. I have never prayed for anyone but I will for you. I never have my fertility go my way. I feel so bad for you and it touches me deeply. Sorry I am getting so upset I have been through a lot and care for others that I can relate to. I wish you the best of luck, Please don't give up!!!!!!! |
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Paige, |
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