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sblanton2 - September 29th, 2005 3:59 PM

Hey all...don't mean to not share in your journies I am truly happy for you all who manage to get pregnant. And for those who do not my heart goes out to you.
I have to wait until January to even begin a cycle and I am becoming impatient, sometimes I try to ignore this forum altogether and try not to think about what will be coming up. I think sometimes I need a "normal" existance if there is such a thing and other times I seem to be on this site for days on end. How do you all handle waiting to start a cycle? I know 44 is waiting until January as well, there is nothing else for me to do except daydream and get frustrated waiting.
Hope you all are doing well and I will try to do better and be more supportive instead of getting so wrapped up in myself.

Best Wishes,
Sylvia

baby4us - September 29th, 2005 4:43 PM

Hey Sylvia.. January 2006 ... I am not going to say.. it'll be here before you know it! because I remember having to wait from January to July of this year to start my program... and it was excruciating waiting for the time to come. (Not to mention all the tests and poking and prodding that took place between that time!)

Some days will be better than others... so try to enjoy the time from now until then.. and whenever you are feeling down.. just concentrate on January.

I always feel better when I cross off dates on the calendar.. it seems silly but at least you feel like you are doing something and you can see how you are getting a little bit closer to "the date" each day.

Good luck to you!

Fortyfour - September 29th, 2005 4:54 PM

Sylvia, It would be nice if the wait until January was not filled with the holidays. It just reminds me of my babies lost. I am staying busy by getting all the info I think I need to feel comfortable with my next try. If I dont feel confident with everything I will wait until I do. Watching the other get pg is not bothering me its reading anything from the ones who got pg the same time I did and are cruising along with their pregnancies. It's like a knife in the heart to read stuff and know I would be that far along if they had not died. So I dont read them.

I found out I have to have another Hystosalpingogram. Yuck. It will be alot of trauma because it reminds to much of the d/c's. Ativan will be the drug of choice for that.

The wait is hard and nothing can take away the frustration. Vent to us anytime. Baby dust to all.


sblanton2 - September 29th, 2005 5:52 PM

Thanks baby4us and 44, I have had all my testing done since August 8th.... That is probably the proble. DH and I know the cause of our infertility and honestly the only thing that worries me is the clinic we are going through uses the microflare program for everyone over 30. I was told that I was a "good responder" based off of my CCT testing. So if I am a good responder why do I need to be on the micro ...isn't there are danger of over stim and eggs becoming too mature??? Since I have never been through this I am not sure how closely they monitor and what they would do. Probably stressing for no reason.
44, I hope you get the answers you need. I know I read before that you were a little more comfortable with new RE. Hope you can overcome the problems and who knows maybe we'll both get lucky in Jan.

Thanks all...

Best wishes,
Sylvia

WantsBaby2 - September 30th, 2005 9:34 AM

Sylvia,
I know the waiting game is horrible and it seems to go on forever. When I am waiting weeks and months for a new cycle, I just try to take care of myself and plan fun things.

I am having a difficult time right now because my RE is supplementing me with Estrace for 10 weeks to get my body (hopefully) to respond better to the stim medication. He has had a lot of success with this protocol with other women...however...the estrace is making me sick.

I take it at night now and it seems to help with the symptoms. I just get really bad headaches and every muscle in my body aches and I am soooo tired. It's making it really difficult to function at work. I am just having a really hard time right now. I hope it's all worth it!!! The way I feel now I just want to give up.

I am trying to keep busy though despite how I feel. My DH and I are planning a big Halloween costume dinner party...so that helps keep my mind off things while I am planning for that. Invitations went out earlier this week. I am now planning the menu and decorations. It will be a blast to spend time with really good friends.

We are also going to get away for our anniversary the first week in November. We haven't taken a vacation together since our honeymoon 3 yrs. ago, so I am really looking forward to that as well. I feel December will be here before I know it! This is the deciding IVF for us. If I don't stim well...then we are done. So there is a lot riding on this one and I must say I am really nervous.

I hope the time flies by for all of us and we end up with our precious little bundles! Take care ladies.

Wantsbaby2

silli_kitti - September 30th, 2005 10:34 AM

Waiting is very, very hard. Especially since we know that the wait in itself puts us back a step too, since we're not getting any younger!

I have watched my FSH go from 4 (2 years ago) to 7 (5 months ago) and am freaking out about the next test in a few weeks. I have dreaded thoughts that its going to be over 8 and my RE considers 9 to be high.

I have no good advice as to how to pass the time, except for staying busy. Hubby keeps me going - to a restaurant, to the gym, to friends', yesterday he said we're painting the guest room, etc. He forces me, and I know its best for me. There more I'm thinking about other things, the less I'm thinking about all this. However, there are times when I just feel like sitting on the sofa and crying the night away. What I really want is to go to sleep (its the only peace I get, when I finally do fall asleep) and somebody wake me up when I'm pg.

Hope the wait goes by fast, and good luck in January!

sblanton2 - September 30th, 2005 12:14 PM

Thanks all...I am a full time college student so I have a lot to do but I hate feeling as if I am getting nothing done to achieve our goal. I am a very goal oriented person and cannot stand inaction. I am the type who makes lists for everything, I research everything and sometimes I think that is a bad thing.
Wantsbaby2, my DH and I have put a limit on how many times we will put ourselves through this, I hope this time works for you..... I think everyone who has to try this hard should be blessed with a child. We have definately shown we are committed to our marriages and a child if we are so blessed. The bad thing is I know so many girls 16 & 17 pregnant right now who have chosen to have their babies and haven't even planned how they will support them. That type of thing makes me so angry...here we are trying so hard.
SilliKitti, I too try to stay busy...it is just the quiet times I find myself obsessing...LOL. My RE I guess uses a different scale b/c they say 12 is too high for the FSH. On my CCT test in Jul mine was 5.3 and it only went up to 5.45 after the clomid. Estradiol went up dramatically on day 10. I know what you mean about every month making us older, our eggs aging. I get upset with DH sometimes b/c if it hadn't been for him taking supplements(he is a Special Forces Officer) creatine, andro poppers to put on mass we could have been in the October cycle. I guess everything happens for a reason. Well, I hope you all do well with your treatments and hopefully all of us can move down the forum to the pregnancy boards soon!!!!!

Best of luck to us all,
Sylvia

pj - September 30th, 2005 4:42 PM

sylvia
i've been wondering where you were. i understand about needing some time away from the boards. (i come just to catch up on other people sometimes without posting anything myself.)
i'm sorry you have to wait so long. to so many people out there january will be here before they know it, and yet for so many others time moves so slowly-- every day feels like at least a month (if not a year!)
we are all hoping you do find something to help with the waiting. we're here if you start going crazy ;)
lots of luck and tons of baby dust to you
-pj

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