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Allegonda:

I see I am not the only one who can't sleep today.

Thanks for your well wishes and prayers - trust me they are much appreciated and needed.

Best of luck with your IUI - I am unsure what the difference between IUI and IVF are, but I hope the IUI procedure works for you and your DH.

Carrie...

[quote author=allegonda link=board=15;threadid=1752;start=45#14277 date=1137924160]
Hello Carrie and China,
Thank you for sharing your life stories and I do hope you both have a bfp on Friday, please keep us updated.

I read this site most days and it truely is so encouraging to hear from every one, this infertilty sure is difficult.

We will be doing our second IUI in March. If this doesn't work it will be IVF, hopefully in July, as recommended by the fertility clinic.

Rest well while you wait.

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hopeful2006, Once again I'm sitting with tears in my eyes, We have so much in common you are my soul sister ;). I as well was in an abusive relationship and I had 2 abortions, not only for the fact of the abusive relationship but I was so scared I would miscarry and I did see blood a few times so I chose to end the pregnancy's, But as I think back there is know way I would need or want to deal with or have that person in my life or to be a father to a child of mine, this way I never in LIFE have to see this person again! That is a chapter in my life that is CLOSED! But everything we have gone through make us the person we are today. Thank God we both got out of those relationships, like you said we might not be here today, or I might be here but behind bars! And know I did'nt find out what was wrong with me until 8/05 after 20+ m/cs, I NO I sound crazy but I was with a doctor I had been at for over 15 years, and he honestly had me thinking he was trying to find out what was wrong, but he really was'nt doing anything but taking my money and lying to me and giving me false hope! He would tell me just get to 12 weeks and he would give me a circolg? that's totally spelled wrong but it's the same thing you were talking about when they sew you up, now mind you he started talking about this once I started miscarring at 5, 6, 7 weeks etc, for some reason now I can't get passed like 8 or 9 weeks, all these m/cs have taken a huge toll on my body, My family and friends were telling me for years he was a QUACK and to find another doc, but I would'nt listen to anyone, Finally in June of 05 I fount a wonderful team of doctors, they immediatly started testing my for everything and that's when they found I had the clotting disorder, the other doctor had me thinking I had Lupus, and in fact I did not! I am so happy for both of us that we have dh who love and support us and that we have truly found our soul mates. If I had to go on bed rest that would be major for us also but I would have to sacrafice and do it, It will be hard but as bad as we want a baby it would all be worth it! Other women have told me that certain hormones have givin them very simular symptoms as your self, But in the end it will all be worth it. The Lovenox injections that I take sometimes make me feel sick to my stomach and I have so many bruises on my side and my stomach you would swear I was abused! OMG I hate going to the bathroom also fearing I will see red, sometimes I hold it as stupied as that sounds so I won't have to wipe! Now that's crazy, My mind is playing tricks on me it seems I feel AF coming but I don't see anything, that's a good thing, What about you? I pray it did'nt come! Well hope to hear from you soon, I guess I'll start cooking. Take Care my Soul Sister.....China ;)

Oh before I forget I have'nt heard from HopefulDC, I'm sure all is well she will be in my prayers also!

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China:

wow it is truly a miracle that I found you on this site. You are so right we have so much in common it is scarey. It is so nice to talk to someone who KNOWS what I am talking about instead of these people in my life who mean well, but to be honest are just pissin me off.

I got up around 1:00 a.m and saw some brown blood only when I wiped - nothing in the toilet and then nothing else.

I guess AF is going to rear her ugly damn head and screw me up again. I thought I would be ok and be able to say oh well its ok it is only our first try - but I am truly PISSED OFF .. I feel like i went through all this for nothing - I am miserable, nauseas, achy and bruised to high heaven just like you - and still I failed.

I will call the dr today and see what she says - i am sure it is probably going to start today and then I am back onto day 3 and getting started with Follistim and Menopure - oh well at least DH gets a break from shooting me in the ass for a while .

I am sorry I know i sound angry and that is not fair considering there are so many other people going through what i am and experiencing the same thing.

So no AF for you -- FANTASTIC -- you said you thought it was coming Sat night and see your test is tomorrow and you made it .. I am praying for you to get a BFP and maybe if they could sew you up around 6 wks instead of 12 weeks you would not m/c. I am no expert on this subject, but i am sorry that the dr you were seeing was such a jerk. As soon as I am told I am pregnant me and DH are going to a high risk OB Gyn clinic b/c i am not going through this whole thing and then still lose it - I will do whatever it takes even if it means laying on my butt and getting fat for 9 months.

Take care and just think 24 hours from now you could be expecting a wonderful beautiful baby ..

baby dust to all,

Carrie

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Just worried,

can anyone tell me if they have had brown spotting and still had a BFP. Mine started the wee hours of the morning today - my actual day 28 cycle was due on 1/22 so i was wondering does this mean my period is definitely here or what could it mean.

I don't have anything right now when i pee or wipe, but am mildly crampy ..

if anyone can help me get through this day without freakin out i would appreciate it.

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hopeful2006,
I had brown spotting the day before my pg test, it was only in the morning and disappeared in late morning/afternoon. I freaked out, I laid in bed with my feet up all day, thinking I was getting af. I was sooo upset.
The next day I went in for the pg test and thought for sure I wasn't pregnant, but to my amazement I was. The nurse said it was implantation bleeding, which means when the embryos attach to the wall it sheds some of the uterus lining. I was really shocked when I went in 2 weeks later and saw that I was having twins.

Just relax, don't get stressed. Take it easy, maybe put your feet up.
If Af comes then it's meant to be. It might take 1 try or 5 tries, it will be a very slow process but you will have good results in the end.

I'm passing along baby dust to you and the others who are 2ww.....

Cindy

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Cindy,

thank you so much for your answer. I called the dr and she said no big deal that 80% of her patients have dark spotting and abdominal cramps and it does not mean anything bad. I just hate not knowing and absolutely am not going to make the mistake of doing another HPT like i did a few days ago b/c i think it was way too soon to tell and i freaked out and got all depressed.

You are right I am going to go home after work and just relax i worked almost 80 hours in one week last week so i need to take it easy..

OMG I can only pray that it was my little guy/gal attaching b/c that would be such a prayer come true for me right now .. I just have have to keep saying IM PREGNANT AND IM HAPPY OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND BECOME CALM ..

no AF for anyone in this horrible 2ww ...

carrie

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hopeful2006,
Working 80 hours in 1 week? Holy cow, you definetly need to take it easy. Especially if your trying to have a baby. They said take it easy the first 3 months, try not to be too stressed and don't let your body get runned down. Is there any way you can reduce the hours? Or maybe take a few days off just to lay down and do nothing?

But for now, just take a big breath and relax. On your next break, go sit somewhere quiet and just meditate and think happy thoughts. Are you a big believer in God? Right now would be the best time to pray to him and just ask him to bless you and your husband with a bundle of joy. I truly believe in the power of prayer!

Cindy

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Cindy:

you must have been in my mind about an hour and a half ago b/c i was in my car laying down taking a nap. I just feel emotionally drained and b/c of the spotting and the cramping i am so scared AF is goiing to come even though i know that from my dr it is normal i still just am scared .

God is huge in my life plan and I pray for this blessing every day - it is funny b/c i have friends at church who are doing a prayer vigil for me -- the more prayers the better and so i feel so loved and supported by them.

so whatever happened with the BFP with the twins? is that still ongoing or are they already big and happy in your home?

Carrie

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hopeful2006,
It's normal to be scared. Especially the day you go in for the pg test. Your going to be excited but nervous and every negative thought will be passing through your mind. Every phone call that comes in, your heart will be beating and you start shaking. What worked for me to get my nerves calmed down is that I laid down on my bed and rubbed my stomach and I repeated over and over God hear my prayer, please let me be pregnant. For some reason it calmed me down and it made me relaxed. It sounds crazy but everyone has there own little thing they do while waiting for that phone call.

Believe it or not but, I think this is the year for everyone to become pregnant. I don't know if you noticed but there is a lot of girls who are pregnant with twins or pregnant with one baby that is on this site. So I have hope for you guys and I have a good vibe about this.

I'm 15 weeks pregnant, my due date is July 16th but they said with twins I will go in earlier. I'm not finding out the sexes, we want to be surprised at the hospital.
But it has been smooth sailing so far, I haven't had morning sickness but my immune system is down so I'm catching a lot of colds. I have also been getting a lot of headaches. But other than that, I'm feeling pretty good and my energy is coming back.

I had a job for 6 years but our company was bought out and everyone got laid off including myself so I have been at home for about a year. It took me almost a year to do all this fertility stuff so it worked out for the best. I'm officially retired and I'm a professional couch potato now.. lol So I think being a couch potato is helping my stress level. I better enjoy the quietness now before the twins come.

Cindy

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Wow Cindy,

that is awesome .. I am so happy for you -- where do you live ??? I must send you something cute for the little ones who will be here before you know it -- and they are both due one day before my DH b'day so they will be awesome -- Cancers are great people they are kind and gentle and considerate.

I am still freaking out though b/c i thought the spotting had stopped and now it is a little bit more than what it was before -- still not red, but getting pink so yeah unfortunately i think it might be AF even though my dr said she doesn't usually see people come on their period before the 20 days after the trigger shot and my 20 days is actually Friday . but of course I have to be different - if you knew me better you would understand - lol ..

i don't do anything the normal way and make things more difficult for myself sometimes. I am going home tonight and putting my feet up and just relaxing - if AF is coming it will be here by tonight I know how my body works and it will be in full flow by tonight so I will know what to expect and know that i have to jump back onto the wagon and start again .. this is only my first try so they say try try again so i will.

take care,
carrie

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hopeful2006,
Now refresh my memory, did you do IVF or IUI?

Like I said before if it is AF then don't give up. Keep on trying, not everyone gets it on the first try.

I live in Michigan and no need to send me anything, just send your blessings that everything will turn out good. Keep me in your prayers and I will do the same for you.

I'm still a little scared, after having a m/c every little ache or pain makes me worried. I won't be in the clear until I have them in my arms.

I know how you feel if you do get a/f. My first time I did IUI, the day I was going in for the pg test I got a/f. The first time I ever got a/f on the day it's suppose to come. I have pcos and a/f never comes on time. I was so disappointed! I cried for a couple days and I did give up.

It was a year later when my nurse called and asked if I wanted to do an IVF study for half the cost, at first I was leary and didn't want to get disappointed again but I decided it couldn't hurt, so I was chosen to do a frozen transfer, they retrieved 17 eggs and fertilized and frozed 11 embryos. A couple months later, they transfered 4 embryos. I did get pregnant the first time but I had a miscarriage, they thought I was having twins, talk about the worst thing you could possibly go through, it was tough to get through the days.

I decided to take 3 months off from the whole fertility crap and everytime I had a failed IUI or negative comeback I took a vacation with my husband to get my mind off of things well this time we went away and all I thought about was the fact that I can't go through this anymore so I was going to give up again, but my husband said no, you have some embryos left you should give it one more try, if we don't get pregnant then there is a loving child that needs to be adopted.

So I gave it one more shot, they put in 3 embryos and 2 took. I'm glad I didn't give up.

Sorry for talking your ear off.

But if anyone knows how it feels to be disappointed it is me. I can relate to everything your saying.

Cindy

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Cindy,

I had IVF - 3 day transfer of non-frozen embies -- one was grade 8 ( i think that is how they say it) she talked so fast about what the numbers meant i really didn't understand it. but she told me that the grade 8 was a prime embie and a good candidate and then she put 2 more in that were just a little less mature ..

Wow you all have such wonderful stories and it really gives me hope.

I stopped spotting again - i swear i don't even want to go pee anymore b/c the roller coaster is killin me - first i am spotting, but brown - then i am stopped for hours, then i am spottiing a little bit pink, but still not red - and now nothing again.

I am not gong to worry unless i reach full flow b/c that is what dr said to do. DH is worried, but trying to be supportive and telling me to be positive and not stress. Easier said than done ...

So are you on bed rest now or just relaxing as a couch potato does - lol

I work two jobs, but neither of them are strenuous and i really am watching what i do like not lifting anything and doing any stressul activies . shoot DF won't even have sex with me b/c he says he just does not want to take the chance of hurting the baby . he is so sweet b/c i know he is really hurtin since we have not "been together in probably over a month" since we started everything b/c i was so sore when i was getting the eggs ready b/c i had a cyst on my ovary and it caused pressure.

Anyway TMI I'm sure !!!!!

TAKE CARE ,,

carrie

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Carrie,
How is your sense of smell? I found my sense of smell kicking in strongly a few days before the pg test. I could smell flowers a mile down the road, its hard to explain but that was my first sign.
If this spotting comes and goes, this might be a good sign. I would think if it was af that it would eventually start getting darker and not disappear. But you would know your body more than I would.

I'm just relaxing as a couch potato. I do about 1/2 hr of housework and I have dinner made for dh but most of my time is spent on the couch. I have been putting a 1000 piece puzzle together and doing scrapbooking, that helps my day go faster until dh comes home from work.

Staying away from sex until you know for sure would be a good idea. My dr said to wait 3 months after transfer but other dr's say 2 weeks. So I guess it's what your dr says.

Take care,
Cindy

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Carrie, Let me tell you this, seeing brown is not a bad thing, now red we all know what that means! That's what we want to avoid, I have been feeling like AF wants to come since Saturday I have wiped a few times including this morning and I see light pink I'm kind of worried but as long as it's not the ugly bright red it's okay. Don't feel that all you have done is waste of time, it usuallt takes more then one try, it would be wonderful and a blessing if it took on the first try, but if not just pray and believe and get ready for next month, but hopefully that won't be the situation for you or I and we both have to try to not worry so much, we are so much alike, I know how you feel we are both sitting here on pins and needles.

I have such mixed emotions about going to the doctor tomorrow, on one hand scared I will get a BFN, and also scared I will get a BFP and miscarry! All I can do is pray and leave it in God's hands if I worry and allow my self to be stressed out I not trusting and believing in God. Carrie if you are able to please try not to work so many hours, that will take a huge toll on your body, I saw that you said you were resting in the car, good! I have to learn how to relax more myself and put my feet and kick back!

Dh has to leave for work in a couple hours so I'm going to start cooking now but I will be back on in about in hour, look forward to hearing from you....Stay positive....China

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Cindy,

I always have a really good sense of smell and did not notice anything extra today, i guess i also am too worried about the spotting and all to pay attention to everything else that may be going on.

well good news I just went to the potty and nothing at all .. i think if AF was coming then i would have started like really bleeding by now or at least seen red on the tissue, but nothing. I am so happy right now b/c I was so worried all day long.

I only have 4 days to hold on and then i will know if this was something that God wanted us to have right now. My friend who did IVF said that the implantation could be what is making me spot b/c i am on day 12 of the transfer, but i thought the implantation was days 8 through 10, anyway I feel better about things for now.

Thanks so much for talking to me all day long - you have truly been a huge help b/c i was at work and noone thre knows anything that i am doing so i had noone to talk to ..

carrie


[quote author=snindy link=board=15;threadid=1752;start=60#14353 date=1138050013]
Carrie,
How is your sense of smell? I found my sense of smell kicking in strongly a few days before the pg test. I could smell flowers a mile down the road, its hard to explain but that was my first sign.
If this spotting comes and goes, this might be a good sign. I would think if it was af that it would eventually start getting darker and not disappear. But you would know your body more than I would.

I'm just relaxing as a couch potato. I do about 1/2 hr of housework and I have dinner made for dh but most of my time is spent on the couch. I have been putting a 1000 piece puzzle together and doing scrapbooking, that helps my day go faster until dh comes home from work.

Staying away from sex until you know for sure would be a good idea. My dr said to wait 3 months after transfer but other dr's say 2 weeks. So I guess it's what your dr says.

Take care,
Cindy
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China:

wow see i told you AF would not come yesterday - i am so glad that it did not for either of us. my spotting has stopped for now and if i was on AF i would be full flow by now usually by the end of the day i would need a tampon and i have had on a little dayliner all day and nothing is on it .. I am so happy ..

I am so excited for you tomorrow -- what time is you appt?? Mine is only 4 days away, but it feels like an eternity. I made mine at 7:00 a.m. so then i could get it done really early and hopefully find out before noon. my nurse is great she called me like 3 minutes after I called her today freaking out about the spotting. so hopefully she will call me earlier than later on Friday ..

I understand now why they call this the dreaded 2ww..

enjoy your dinner - my DH does not come home till 10:00 tonight so I am putting my feet up and relaxing for the rest of the eve. the only thing moving on me will be my fingers to reply to you and cindy ..

Oh PS. wow three months without sex -- geez my RE told me 4-5 days, but we still are not touching each other - just my luck we would mess something up in there ... :-)

take care ladies and i am so praying for you tomorrow China,

carrie


[quote author=chynnadoll link=board=15;threadid=1752;start=60#14354 date=1138054343]
Carrie, Let me tell you this, seeing brown is not a bad thing, now red we all know what that means! That's what we want to avoid, I have been feeling like AF wants to come since Saturday I have wiped a few times including this morning and I see light pink I'm kind of worried but as long as it's not the ugly bright red it's okay. Don't feel that all you have done is waste of time, it usuallt takes more then one try, it would be wonderful and a blessing if it took on the first try, but if not just pray and believe and get ready for next month, but hopefully that won't be the situation for you or I and we both have to try to not worry so much, we are so much alike, I know how you feel we are both sitting here on pins and needles.

I have such mixed emotions about going to the doctor tomorrow, on one hand scared I will get a BFN, and also scared I will get a BFP and miscarry! All I can do is pray and leave it in God's hands if I worry and allow my self to be stressed out I not trusting and believing in God. Carrie if you are able to please try not to work so many hours, that will take a huge toll on your body, I saw that you said you were resting in the car, good! I have to learn how to relax more myself and put my feet and kick back!

Dh has to leave for work in a couple hours so I'm going to start cooking now but I will be back on in about in hour, look forward to hearing from you....Stay positive....China




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