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Cassandra,
Even with some of my friends with young children, I still hear VERY negative comments...so I have had to search out friends with children that are understanding and supportive.
I'm lucky - I have a friend who had her procedure the same day and time I did, found out she was pregnant the same day I did, and oddly have had our doctor appointments on the same days...usually at the same time! That is very nice to have one friend who is pregnant with me who understands why this is such a joyous time!! Granted, I don't see her much since she lives so far from me, but I am grateful to have her as my friend.
The one thing I have had to do in this journey is steer clear of people who are negative, or risk raising my blood pressure and combat the negative things people say. One friend, a DEAR friend, asked me if I was sure I wanted to tell people so early since I wasn't out of danger yet. I was STUNNED!!! So, rather than not saying anything, I told her that I was high risk and going to be in danger the whole nine months, and there was no time like the present to tell my FRIENDS. Ugh. I haven't gone out of my way to see her since she said that...but I find lots of people saying things, I'm sure are well meaning, but are extremely negative nonetheless. By the way, this "friend" is the same woman who had to call her Mother to come stay three days after the baby was born because she just could not get any sleep...she would complain to all of us that Baby didn't sleep at all during the night and she was tired! She thought people were exaggerating when they said their child didn't sleep at all last night. Hello??
I thought the insensitive comments people threw at us during our struggle with infertility would disappear with a BFP, but I was wrong. People I never expected to say horrible things have said them to me...so I have chosen to celebrate wtih people who are supportive, and only ask questions of those I know will not judge or persecute me.
So, just as you had to be careful who you sought support from during your struggle with infertility, you have to be careful now...some people will surprise you with their sudden negative attitude...so, steer clear until they can support you in the ways that you need them to...you'll have enough anxiety without anyone else whipping you into a froth over what could happen.
What people don't say is the positive...my OB and I were talking about the amnio and he said one in 250 will m/c after an amnio. I groaned. He said, look at that THIS way...you have a far better chance of being one of the 249 who will not be affected by it! I laughed because NO ONE had ever put it that way to me before...he said there was a 2% chance of problems with a c-section...which means there is a 98% chance things are going to go GREAT! So, when someone quotes to you all the percentages of very bad things that will happen...turn it around on them!! They'll be stunned!! No one is trained to look at the glass half full when it comes to medical stats.
You're doing great, I hope you have a GREAT day and know that you have the support of every woman on these boards!! We're rooting for you and we're thrilled for you!!
Talk to you soon!!
HeatherMac
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