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Hey Justme!
Here's my humble opinion on the matter.
If you were not an infertile, would having a third baby even be an issue? Sure, you may decide whether or not to try, but would you feel the guilt if you never had fertility issues?? No. No one would. There's never enough time or money for a baby, let alone second, third and fourth children...so if you were not infertile, would you ponder this much over a third baby? Chances are you would not, and chances are people have told you that you should be satisfied with the family you have. But, I say hooey on them. My DH and I wanted four children, and because of the infertility that was diagnosed so late, we'll be tremendously blessed to have two happy, healthy babies. But, I will always mourn the family that I was robbed of. Sure, I will always be happy with my family, whatever that ends up being, but in the back of my mind, I will always wonder what Christmas morning would have been like with four wild and crazy kids screaming down the stairs, or what their lives would have been like as adults with three siblings for each of them to lean on...and had we not had fertility issues, I would know.
And to anyone that says you should be happy with what you've got, they have obviously never struggled to have a child as we have, and that is not something they are qualified to comment on...no one has the right to tell you how you should feel about anything, even if they have experience with your life's circumstances. The only people that can determine if you should spend the money and time for BB3 is you and your husband. If it feels right and it's something you want to do, then by all means, do it!! If it's no something you feel strongly about in your heart, then maybe it isn't the best option.
Whatever you decide, it will not be an overnight decision. It's something that will come to you after much thought and debate. Keep it in your mind and give yourself a few months to think about it and talk it over. Go over the figures and what it all means to you, DH, your children and your lives...and your heart will tell you what you should do. Only you and DH can decide what is right and best for you, regardless of how many "well meaning" people try to tell you otherwise.
I know it's a difficult decision, but remember: if you weren't infertile, you would not have one spec of guilt about trying to have another baby, regardless of how many you have at home.
Please keep us posted and best of luck with your decision!!
HeatherMac
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