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SMS1129 - November 12th, 2005 10:51 AM

Well, dh and I had our u/s and consultation in NY on Thursday and it didn't go so well. They confirmed everything our OB said and more. The baby not only has downs or turner syndrome, but cystic hygroma and 80% chance of heart and/or neurological defects. The neck mass is getting even larger.

The doctors told us that we are increasing our risk of losing the entire pg and/or preterm birth by 25% by continuing to carry this child. It may abort itself, but there is no certainty of that. It is heartbreaking, but we have made the choice for the benefit of the other two seemingly healthy babies to do selective reduction of the unhealthy one. I know this is not easy to discuss after what we all go through, but I wanted to let everyone know where we are at. We are going back to NY on Monday for the procedure.

Thanks for your support.

Sue

justme - November 12th, 2005 1:36 PM

Sue,


justme - November 12th, 2005 1:38 PM

Sorry, it posted on it's own.

Sue,
I am so sorry that you are being put in this position. That has to be the hardest decision to make. I will say some prayers for you as you go through this for strength and the health of the other two babies. I can not imagine how stressful this has probably been for you and DH.

I hope everything goes well on Monday. Please keep us posted.

Justme

Meg - November 12th, 2005 10:41 PM

Sue,

I am so very sorry for your news. I will keep you and your husband in my thoughts and prayers this weekend that everything goes smoothly on Monday and that the health of the other two babies remains well. The IF road continues to be difficult... Please take care and know that we are all here to support you.

Sending you Hugs and Prayers,

Meg

baby4us - November 14th, 2005 9:05 AM

Sue... today is Monday... so I hope you are are doing well... You have made the rigth decision.. never an easy one.. but to ensure 2 healthy babies... but I am so sorry to hear about the loss... please let us know how today went.. and I hope you are felling better soon...


cassandra - November 14th, 2005 9:54 AM

Sue, I'm so sorry you have to go through this.I hope everything goes ok on Mon. i'll be thinking of you. My sincere condolences on your loss. Take care...cassandra

tinkerbell - November 14th, 2005 10:05 AM

oh Sue, I haven't read postings here in a while and I was heartbroken to have read your news. That is not an easy decision to make, but I guess it is for the best. I am praying for you and the babies. Be strong...

SMS1129 - November 15th, 2005 4:29 PM

Well, I had the procedure done yesterday. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through, emotionally and physically.
It took quite a bit of time to ensure the safety of the other two, but we had an u/s 1 hour afterwards and they both looked good. I will have another u/s in 1 week and then every week from week 18 until week 24.

DH and I are putting it behind us and praying for healthy twins. I don't wish any of this on anyone, but in the end, if we end up with 2 healthy babies, it will all be worth it.

Thanks again for everyone's support.

Sue

baby4us - November 16th, 2005 8:27 AM

Sue I am happy to hear all went as well as it could on Monday and that the 2 babies are doing well.

Sorry that you had to go through this...


Karen123 - November 16th, 2005 8:52 AM

Sue, It really sounds like you and DH made it through a very difficult time with strength and courage. A mother always has to make tough choices to benefit her children and you've just made probably the toughest choice ever. I am SO glad to hear that your twins are doing well. I wish you only the best. You certainly deserve it. And I am truly sorry for your loss. Karen

justme - November 16th, 2005 2:30 PM

Sue,
I am so sorry that you had to go through this. Thankfully it is over now and you and DH can look forward to meeting your twins. I am praying for healthy babies and continued strength for you and DH.

Justme

SMS1129 - November 22nd, 2005 4:35 PM

Hello ladies,

I went for a follow up u/s last night and the twins look healthy. I am 15 weeks today and they are about 4 1/2 inches long.

The u/s technician recommended that I have a full anatomy u/s at 18 weeks and possibly go for genetic u/s testing at another facility. I don't want to do any more testing...I am sick of it. I want to go the next 5 months without being "tested". I feel good physically, but emotionally am not enjoying this pg at all. Is anyone else going through this? They keep telling me it is my advanced maternal age...I hate that!

Anyways, sorry for venting, I know it is truly amazing to be here and I don't want to sound ungrateful, I am just tired of worrying constantly.

Sue

cassandra - November 23rd, 2005 7:55 AM

Sue, I don't blame you one bit for not wanting the genetic testing. I think the u/s will be nice though, at least to help with your worries and fears. Advanced maternal age? what crap!
I'm glad your babies are doing well.

Have a good holiday and enjoy the turkey(if you eat turkey) my plan is to chow down then take a nap like the guys do! :) Keep in touch...cassandra

baby4us - November 23rd, 2005 8:18 AM

Sue .. you have been through so much poking and prodding.. I am sure that is the last thing you want.. plus some of the tests cause undue worry and stress... BUT then again... it is the medical profession and you know they have these early detection tools and probably just want to ensure that all is well.

I certainly haven't been through nearly the hell you have been through.. I am 12 weeks this week and heading in tomorrow for my maternal serum screening test and more blood work and have been worried sick. I know it is my choice to not have it done.. but I figured I'd worry either way.. at least this way I'll be informed.... (somewhat!)

And.. the real benefit is to see those ultrasounds and to see the amazing progress your babies are making. That is all I am telling myself about tomorrow... that I get a chance to see the baby and how much it has grown since my last u/s a month ago... so am trying to focus on that!!

The best news is.. I am so happy to hear your twins are healthy and doing wonderfully! Enjoy your Thanksgiving this weekend,.. I hope you will be surrounded by family and friends!

Karen123 - November 23rd, 2005 8:41 AM

Baby4us, I hope you have a terrific time watching your baby at your u/s! That is exactly why I had the testing done. I didn't go for the 2nd trimester testing since no u/s was involved and my doctor didn't even mention it yesterday at my appt. I thought he'd give me a hard time.

Sue, I too am so happy to hear that your twins are healthy! That is wonderful and you certainly deserve to hear that after all the things you have been through. You know. I had a tough several months with DH having 3 surgeries and my 16 yr old child having a major car accident and then a ton of problems with this pregnancy. I think the worst has been not getting along with DH and feeling like I have no support. So at times, it's been hard to enjoy the pregnancy. But I tell you, I have tried hard to focus on the miracles growing inside me and now that I'm very visibly pregnant to everyone and I feel my sweet babies moving constantly, I will say I am truly enjoying this. I feel big and my Arthritis is really hurting me and the worst part is the painful sleep deprived nights, plus having DH guilting me into doing everything for him is killing me. but then I'll feel a kick or a twirl going on inside me and I just smile. Sometimes they tickle me and I laugh out loud at my desk! I have purchased a lot of adorable clothes and toys and those are the things that make this enjoyable. Everyone on this board has felt terrible pain (emotionally and physically) at different times and worrying is the major part of our experiences. But I hope that soon you can focus on the good things and try to enjoy at least some of this pregnancy. You've been through so much and deserve happiness.

I have placenta previa and yesterday my OB told me that if I don't stop this crazy schedule of caring for DH and the house and kids and dogs and my full time job then I will end up in the hospital. So instead of worrying about that, I am going to try hard and slow things down, say "NO" more often and make sure my placenta previa is monitored. That's all I can do. Please try to focus on keeping yourself well and maybe buying a thing or two for your sweet little one that makes you smile. Hang in there! We all care about you! Karen

SMS1129 - November 23rd, 2005 11:28 AM

Thanks guys for being so supportive. I think my anger is really fear that they will find something wrong with one of the remaining babies during one of these many tests. I know they are just doing what they feel is best, though.

I will try to stay positive and worry-free (ha, ha), maybe at least for the holiday.

Everyone have a great Thanksgiving with friends and family!

Sue

Meg - November 23rd, 2005 3:39 PM

Sue,

I am glad that your twins are doing well. I know that it is so very difficult to not worry. After all that you have been through it is only natural that you are worrying about everything. Hopefully you will soon be able to enjoy the p/g. Please know that you and your twins are in my thoughts and prayers.

Meg

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