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Fortyfour - October 2nd, 2005 10:15 PM

I called a girlfriend that I have not heard from since the m/c. She asked how I was and I said we were really sad lately. She asked, still? Still I say. It has only been a month. Does she really think I got over it this quick? She asked if i was keeping busy to forget about the m/c. I said that we can never forget it, but we have to work in order to live. I felt like she was telling me to get on with it and get over it since it was not really that important. She is supposed to be one of my best friends. She does not have children. She is 50. and married. She said she didnt want to call me after the m/c to talk to me since she didnt want to remind me of it. Like I have forgotten it for a minute. All I do in my spare time is look up info on immune and clotting disorders. Geez.


Meg - October 2nd, 2005 11:24 PM

Fortyfour,

I am sorry that your bestfriend is not being the friend that you need right now. I understand how you feel, but unfortunately most people don't understand where you are coming from, w/ the exception of the people on this website or other people struggling w/ infertility and miscarriage issues. I think there are some people that get over m/c easily and others, like myself that will never forget those babies that I lost. They were a part of my life, and I will always keep them close to my heart.

I hope more than anything that January brings a healthy and happy p/g for you. You derserve it so very much. I am praying for you 44 :) Please take care and know that we are always here for you.

Love, Hugs, and Loads of Babydust to You,

Meg

baby4us - October 3rd, 2005 8:35 AM

44 - that is just so sh8tty.. and uncalled for... and obviously the last thing you needed to hear...

M/c are so devastating.. there is NO way you can ever forget the pain... in this case.. time does not heal all wounds..

I am thinking of you


sblanton2 - October 3rd, 2005 11:48 AM

44,
I am so sorry, I know it is tough most people do not understand how difficult it is. I have just stopped talking to people about it and vent here to avoid those type of things. Not really the best approach but.....I hope things get better for you soon. We are all here for you. Take Care...
Sylvia

Fortyfour - October 3rd, 2005 1:36 PM

Thanks ladies. Everyone made me feel better. I know it hards for everyone to understand but cant they just listen and not judge for once. Her dad has alzheimers and I listen away when she calls. Oh well. Thanks again all.


pj - October 3rd, 2005 7:02 PM

44
i'm so sorry you aren't finding your friend very friendly. :(
you've been through so much. you deserve better.
we're here if you need us.
-pj

WantsBaby2 - October 4th, 2005 12:34 PM

Fortyfour,
Sorry you are having such a hard time. People don't realize all of the grief that goes into all these treatments and disappointments. They have no clue how time consuming it all is. It's what we breathe, eat and sleep. I hope this next round of testing gives you answers and the green light to proceed on to a successful pregnancy.


Fortyfour - October 4th, 2005 4:15 PM

Thank you, I hope the you get a BFP on your next cycle wantsbaby2.

Thanks pj.


TICKINGCLOCK - October 4th, 2005 6:38 PM

Forty four

Thats too bad about your friend. Untill you go through through this fertility journey I dont think you fully understand.. My best friend knew a couple weeks ago we were going to do this IUI, and I havent heard from her since.. She didnt even call to say hey how did it go!
She is supposed to be my best friend she was my maid of honor in my wedding) she cant even pick up the phone and show some concern. I dont get it if the situation was reversed I would be sending her thinking of you kinda cards and calling her. Oh and my other friends husband made the comment that "he couldnt believe my husband and I were going through with the IUI it was un natural and if it was gods wish for us to have a baby we would get preg on our own (he has 2 children of his own) I bet if he and his wife went through this journey they would feel different.
Silli kitti posted something "you have to see this it was a little viedo of the journey it was so touching (I think i am going to tell my friend to have her husband look at it so maybe he will be able to understand how we feel. I dont know why it gets me so upset people are so unsensitive sometimes.. If anyone hasnt looked at that post from silli kitti look at it. Dont worry forty four you have the women on this site. We will be there for you!

Fortyfour - October 5th, 2005 7:39 PM

Tickingclock - Thank you so much. My best friend, also my maid of honor did not call me until a week after my pg test was due. She called me 5 days before the test was due to tell me she would call on Thursday and then didnt call until the following Weds. She acted uniterested and rushed when she asked about the test. She didnt call me back until 3 months later. I had left messages for her. We are no longer friends.

I am very thankful for all of you. Without you ladies I would have been in the looney bin. Baby dust to all.


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