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Hi Cassandra. THe next step is to find out what her schedule is and if it matches with my needs. She is actually in California and lives in a town about 20 miles from me. Unreal. I put a deposit down to "secure her" and then the blood work and meetings with docs and such begins. We all have to fill out legal agreements and then we are all good to go. I am getting excited again so that is nice. Take care and keep in touch.

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fortyfour-I am so happy for you and I pray everything goes well

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Now you can breathe one sigh of relief. One decision down. That must have been a huge decision for you. Good luck with all the legal stuff, that can't be fun either. Do you get to meet her?

Wantsbaby2

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YEA!! Fortyfour I'm so thrilled for you!! I pray this one will be the one!! I know this has been a huge worry for you, so this is one stress off your mind. I hope get to meet her and I hope she is wonderful and I hope she is on your schedule and I hope you have great success with her!! I'm praying for you and rooting for you!!

Again, congratulations on finding your new donor!!

LOADS AND LOADS OF BABY DUST YOUR WAY!!!


HeatherMac

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Thanks ladies. I do not get to meet her, just a long bio and a pic. I dont have any urge to meet her though.

Baby dust to all.

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Good Luck Fortyfour :) I have good feelings for you :) Take Care and know that you are in my thoughts and prayers as always.

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Thank you meg. I am starting to feel like doing this again. Take care of yourself.

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44 - I've been off the boards for a while, and I am so happy to hear that you found your donor. It does seem like all the planets are lining up perfectly with her being so close and all. That is a huge and exciting step. Keep us posted on your progress. You are the greatest.

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Fortyfour,
I agree with Meg, I think this is the one for you too. A nice young donor with nice young eggs! It will increase your chances that things will go more smoothly with hopefully, less worries. I wish you tons of baby dust as you begin this next chapter on your journey! Good things are in store for you Fortyfour! God bless your determination!

Wantsbaby2

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Thanks ladies. I filled out the paperwork this weekend and hubby and I had to do a bio for the donor to see. She needs to "accept" us also. I hope she doesnt think I am too old. :o We find out by next week what her decision is. I had a rough week with depression and anxiety and then got a surpise period 4 days before my packet of bc was to be done. I think my ivf in March really screwed up my hormones. I do not want to feel that depressed again.

Take care all and thank you for all your well wishes.

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44 - I am sorry to hear about your depresion and anxiety. This process is like a giant trigger for those symptoms. I used to suffer from panic attacks, and they made their presence known again yesterday. It is so not far. It is hard enough to wait, and then to feel like you can't get yourself out of the funk.....or bed.

I hope your hormones calm down soon.

If your bio reselmbles what characters you display on this board, the donor will have no problem accepting you. You have so much love to give everyone, especially a baby.

Good Luck with your wait. May baby dust be with you!

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Fortyfour,
I agree with Elizabeth. Don't worry. You are a wonderful and kind woman. Of course the donor will have no problem accepting you!

Wantsbaby2

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Thanks ladies,

Elizabeths. I was curious about your panic attacks. I had them in my late twenties and then again in my early 30's and then not again until now. I never have had one during the day but only at night between midnite and 2 am. I hate them because i do not feel anxiious or worried during the day and then pow I wake up in a tizzy. Did you take meds for yours. I have xanax but half only 1/2 a pill left and hate to have to rely on them to get calm. Does your heart pound and do you get sweaty and feel real scared. I could not tell you exactly why I feel afraid except that everything at that time feels ominous? I am starting to dread going to sleep since I dont know when it will happen. They have been off and on since the end of march. Oh well. Another challenge in life. Take care all.

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44 - I started having my first panic attacks in my 20s. (this is when they start if you are going to have them) My first one was around the time that I was being transferred from Chicago to Seattle and was leaving my boyfriend (now my dh) behind. I have had all sorts of symptoms similiar to what you are experiencing...never at night. I have tried cognitive therapy, paxil, but got the most relief from xanax....which I don't like taking either. (very harmful if taken while pregnant as well)

It has been explained to me that these attacks occur when you are experiencing major life changes. I guess I am bit of a control freak, and things like IVF are somewhat out of our control...which brings on the panic. It is the worst and you will do anything to avoid having another attack....even not sleep. At one time in my life, I found it difficult to drive three blocks to the grocery store. This was during another transition in my life, and very scary because my career is in outside sales.

I haven't been on meds for a few years. I hope that once we get results, good or bad, then I will adjust back to my regular self. Our bodies are just trying to get us to admit that what we are going through ( infertility) is a big deal and a big stressor. As if we didn't know that already.....

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Hi Girls,
I too have suffered with panic attacks off and on in my life. The first was after I graduated from college and couldn't find a job. I thought I was dying! I was throwing up, cold clammy sweat, short of breath and I couldn't stop crying.

They returned when my dad was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer in 1998. I experienced them again in my early thirties, and now a couple of months ago when I was on all the meds and my IVF cyle was cancelled. What a thing to go through huh? Xanax was always the only thing that worked for me, but I haven't taken that since the episodes in my early thirties.

I think IVF is such an emotional trigger for us that it is natural for them to return. It is so important to us for things to go smoothly that when they don't, it feels like our world is falling apart. Once again, it's nice to know I am not alone. Thanks for sharing ladies.

Wantsbaby2

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Hi Ladies

I had to chime in. I too have panic attacks. They started when I first decided to go with IVF in 1997. Light headed, rapid breathing, very fast heart rate. It was awful. They went away after a while only to return when the little guy was starting school, then left again. Now, they are back. I spend 2+ hours in bed at night willing my heart to slow down, trying every relaxation technique I can think of. I didn't even know there was medicine for it. I just have always suffered with it. I should see someone for it? Who should I see, do you think?
I am so glad I am not the only one. Stupidly, I thought I was. And to put the name of panic attack makes so much sense even though I never realized it until now that that's what it is.
I can't thank you ladies enough for this information you share. It helps SO so much.

Meridith

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