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Lynne - April 13th, 2005 3:25 PM

And another month down the drain... I'm gonna snap I know it. I started another clomid cycle on Monday and I'm already going insane ( migraine headaches, never mind the ones caused by the old man...). What a life we infertiles lead. I get to go to the local YMCA and spend time with the kids there, atleast that makes me feel a bit better, then come home for a good cry before I start dinner and head to dance class tonight. I wish I could see in to the future and know if this all was going to work out or if I'm setting my self up for disappointment. Sorry I'm so off the wall today perhaps tommorow will look better. Lynne :-\

Meg - April 13th, 2005 4:23 PM

Lynne,

I am sorry that you have to do another cycle of
clomid :( Infertility is just so sucky. I too wish I could predict the future and know if things are going to work out the way we planned. I always joke with my sister that I want to see a psychic (sp?) and find out if any more children are in our future. I think at least I could know, I might be able to save myself the money and the tears and depression and maybe move on w/ life if all of this crap is for naught. She just laughs at me and calls me crazy :) If the shoe fits, wear it I say !! Good Luck with this next cycle :) Lots of baby dust to you :)

Fortyfour - April 13th, 2005 10:13 PM

Hi lynne, I have been wondering about you and how things are going. Sorry about the migraines. I had those also with clomid and nothing helped them. I am praying for you and hope that this cycle will work for you.

I used to go to a psychic. She is too old to do readings now. In 1995 she told me that i would one day lose a baby and then have a baby. I had not read her papers again until last year and almost fell over when I read it. I had just lost the baby. Hopefully now I can have that baby. Only time will tell. Take care.


oneandonlymel - April 14th, 2005 6:25 AM

lynn- I am so sorry you are going through another month of clomid! have your cry because it does help just to let it all out!! my thoughts are with you and I pray this month will be your month.

Lynne - April 14th, 2005 7:07 PM

Thankyou everyone, well after the day I had today I think I must be insane to want more kids. My daughter came home with 2 friends and with my "foster" rugrat and the neibours little one I think I have had my fill of children for the day. Well atleast I can give them back at the end of the day. I am taking my foster rugrat to visit her mother, she is in treatment for drug abuse and can't leave the facility. We will only go for half an hour but it will be nice for the little one to know where her mommy is and that she will be able to visit atleast once a week.

I can't wait to have another baby that is mine and I don't have to share them with other mommies.. :(

Oh well the future might be brighter, baby wishes to all.

WantsBaby2 - April 14th, 2005 8:25 PM

Lynne,
I am so sorry it wasn't successful. Infertility is such an awful thing. I wish you much success on the next cycle. I remember the clomid making me batty...but then again, I always feel a little off these days......just worse when I am on the meds. ???

I hope you feel better tomorrow

Wantsbaby2

cassandra - April 15th, 2005 7:57 AM

Lynne, I'm sorry your cycle didn't work this month. I know it is so hard to get back on the band wagon after disappointments.I hope your'e feeling better. How did the visit go with the mom? I noticed you said you go to the Y to see kids. Are you a mentor? You have a huge heart and I'm hoping it will be filled with love for an unborn baby soon. I never did clomid so I don't understand too well on the side affects. You mentioned before you get migraines. How awful. :PDo you have a script (or hopefully not) have to suffer through those headaches?I hope the migraines stay at bay so you can have some peace. I hope you have better luck on your next cycle....cassandra

p.s. What kind of dance do you take? Does dh go too?









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BabyBound - April 15th, 2005 10:30 AM

Hi Lynne, sorry things didnt' go well this time around. We have to keep pushing on for what we want. Take it easy. I used clomid and didn't have any side effects, I will count my blessing for that one. Enjoy the kids at the Y and relax as much as possible.

Lynne - April 15th, 2005 2:22 PM

Hi Ladies, well to answer a few of your questions, I don't mentor at the YMCA but I take my foster rugrat there to interact with other kids to get her used to the socialization with other people in a safe environment. My daughter goes there aswell for swimming lessons. Weither I take one to play or I have both the kids and some of their friends along it seems like I always end up with extras that want to play too, lots of parents just don't have the time to play with the kids and it seems like I must be a kid at heart because you usually have to drag me out of the play areas.

As for dance classes.... well her it goes.... I am a student of ... you heard it here..... BELLY DANCING.... yes please hold down the laughter I know I must be nuts ( especially with my figure), but damn it is a lot of fun.

And as for my migraines I take advil and plaster a smile on my face since you can't be sick when you have to run around after everyone else picking up the pieces.

On a positive note the old man has determined that if we get a positive this time around the delivery date would be right around our birthdays, ( now that would be a nice present). Hope abounds around the house followed by emotional outbursts and a few tears... I'm going for a nap as soon as I get this munchkin to tire out. The visit with her mom went okay, the facility is very nice but the atmosphere seems so oppressive but I guess that is what they are trying to do give the clients a place to learn some control, ( sometimes I think a good kick in the rump would work but I'm not a specialist). Well I'm off to get the house cleaned up and supper started before I crash for the day.

Baby wishes to us all. :D


Fortyfour - April 16th, 2005 2:03 AM

Hi Lynn, I was doing belly dancing moves tonight to tighten up my abs. Tighten them so I can hopefully ruin them this summer. I hope those damn headaches go away. Take care and good luck. Baby dust to you.


cassandra - April 16th, 2005 8:46 AM

Lynne, you sound like a super bellydancing mom! I think that it's pretty cool. You also seem to have a full schedule and a busy day. Good luck on your next cycle of clomid. I agree the the Y is a great place for kids. My dad used to take my sister and I there when we were wee ones.Oh jeez, today he's been dead for 3 years. April 16. Sorry, I just remembered.
Anyways, I think your'e doing a terrific job and I hope someday when I'm a mom I can play all the time with my child. I do love playgrounds too! I am excited about going to a local zoo the mon.I think I'm a child at heart also. :)I hope the headaches stay away so you can feel somewhat sane during this time. Sending hugs your way...cassandra

(sorry about the pause in my last post, I am computer illiterate :))

WantsBaby2 - April 17th, 2005 9:57 AM

Lynne,
I hope you are feeling better and I hope your headaches have gone away. I think belly dancing sounds like such a hoot! You crazy girl! I think it's great that you stay so busy and involved in things. I should stay busier like you and maybe I wouldn't spend so much time sitting around feeling sorry for myself!! How pathetic is that?!!!

Cassandra,
I noticed on your signature that you had scarring from the freezing of abnormal cervical cells? How did that happen? What is the procedure like? I might have to have that done soon, hence the long pause in my IVF attempts. My gynocologist found abnormalities in my last pap, so I need to get that taken care of before we move on. I was biopsied last week so I should get the results soon. It figures this would all happen at this exact time in my life! So here I am waiting and waiting. Maybe you could give me your thoughts on what to expect?

It's a little embarassing for me, but I know it is a fairly common problem and I just want to get it over with so we can try to become parents! I am not getting any younger! I would appreciate any advice you could give me.

How are you feeling? Are you feeling pg yet? I am soooo happy for you!

Thanks Ladies! Wantsbaby2

Lynne - April 17th, 2005 1:55 PM

Good afternoon Ladies, Thanks so much for all the support, I do think that keeping so busy is probably what keeps me sane. I try to always have something on the go that way when I start to go in to a depression i have to snap myself out of it in a hurry to be able to accomplish whatever i have pending in the day. It's hard to be depressed when you are surrounded by kids screaming and laughing. Some days however I have to plaster on a smile because it breaks my heart to know that I can't keep them all. ( Not that I don't enjoy my daughter , but another one or two would be nice).

The headaches this time around were not as bad, but the stress levels are down around the house this month too. We went to a family BBq last night and while I was a good girl ( small glass of port, I haven't ovulated yet this cycle so no pg for sure), they had a chocolate fondue for dessert. It was great but then try to get 2 kids full of chocolate to go to bed :o

I just got a call from my little bro, his girl freind will not be ready to see her daughter until after 2 pm today instead of at 1 pm. Kind of funny since she was so concerned about getting to spend time with her daughter. But not a big suprise since she had chances to see her daughter before she went to the rehab center and she blew quite a few of them off with flimsy excuses. It is so frusterating..... grrrrrrrrr..... okay thats it I'm going to have lunch and cool down before I go over the edge, ( my poor old man is gonna lock me in the closet for sure today ;D )

Baby wishes to us all....

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