It is very likely that you will, at some point during your fertility treatments, experience a newfound sense of anger. Anger is a normal and healthy response to a diagnosis of infertility. For example, you may feel angry that you have been diagnosed with infertility, while your friends or family members have not. You may feel angry at the sight of a newborn child and mother, or at a young child’s birthday party.
You may also feel angry with friends and family who just don’t seem to understand what you are going through. It is important to express your anger even if it may seem culturally taboo to do so. When expressing your anger:
- avoid physical or emotional confrontation
- try to clarify your feelings, either with words or on paper
- allow your partner to express his anger
- talk with a fertility counselor who has the expertise to help you work through your anger
Guilt and Blame
Guilt and blame are also common emotions after a diagnosis of fertility. Many men and women begin to blame themselves for their inability to help with conception. You may feel as if it is your fault that you cannot have a child, and this can lead to severe depression, isolation, and self-esteem problems. You may also experience lingering feelings of blame for your infertility. You may blame your partner for being unable to have a child, or you blame others around you, including friends or family members.
Feelings of guilt and blame are natural, but they can also be very destructive, especially when it comes to your relationship with your partner. Unspoken guilt and blame can make life very difficult, so it is important that you acknowledge these feelings to your partner. Counseling sessions can often help bring these emotions to light in a supportive environment.
Many men and women who are facing infertility feel utterly alone in their experiences. Infertility is a very personal time, and it can be hard to talk to others about your feelings surrounding the subject. You may feel that your friends and family simply don’t understand you, or that your partner doesn’t care about your feelings. You might also find it increasingly difficult to work up the motivation to go to work, socialize, or even get out of bed.
It is important to fight this sense of isolation in order to maintain a healthy and accurate view of the world. Fertility support groups are made up of men and women who also experience fertility difficulties. These groups can be great places to express your feelings and connect with others on a meaningful level.