Ask How You Can Be Supportive
The best way to be supportive is by asking what you can do. This allows the couple involved to determine the kind of role you will play in support. And it allows them to retain control over a very personal issue. If the couple tells you that there is nothing that you can do, respect their requests, and offer to be there for them in the future should they need you.
Don't Force the Issue
Even though you may want to talk about the diagnosis or fertility treatment options that your friends are pursuing, they might not feel the same way. It is important to allow them to discuss their emotions and concerns about infertility in their own time.
Don't make comments such as, "When are you going to get pregnant?" or "What treatment are you going to try next?" These comments can be hurtful and inappropriate. Make your friends aware that you are available to talk at any time, but don't force your advice upon them.
Though it can be tempting to tell your family members about people you know who are also going through fertility treatments, this is generally not a wise idea. Everyone's experience with infertility is different, and most couples who are experiencing it don't want to hear about other people's battles. Unless your family asks you to tell them about other people's experiences, refrain from doing so.
Don't Be Overly Optimistic or Pessimistic
Fertility treatments can be very successful sometimes. IUI and IVF offer success rates of up to 25% per cycle. However, even if your friend is undergoing treatment, there is a possibility that a pregnancy won't result. Many women do become pregnant, but experience miscarriage early on. So try to avoid being overly optimistic about treatments. However, this does not mean that you should be negative about treatment either. Try to be supportive without leaning one way or the other.
Avoid Recommending Treatments
If a family member or close friend is undergoing fertility treatments, then you will probably be interested in finding out more about these procedures. But try to avoid recommending one procedure over another. Choosing fertility treatment needs to be a personal decision and it should only be made between the individuals directly involved. Feel free to offer support about treatment, but try not to favor one treatment over another.
Remember Both Partners
There is usually more than one individual involved in an diagnosis of infertility. Unfortunately, because infertility is often seen as a "woman's disease," male partners often get left out of the picture. In fact, up to 50% of infertility diagnoses are due to male factor infertility. It is important that male partners get all the support and concern that you can provide.