Fears of adoption

Adoption is more widespread than one might think. Six out of every ten Americans has had a personal experience with adoption. Two to five percent (2-5%) of American households have adopted children. For the most part adoption works well - only 2-15% of all adoptions disrupt. (Clinical and Practice Issues in Adoption : Bridging the Gap Between Adoptees Placed As Infants and As Older Children by Victor Groza, Karen F. Rosenberg).


Fear of rejection, ostracization, more failure or loss, a child's health and emotional well being - all these worries concern prospective parents considering adoption. However, the most significant concern about adoption usually revolves around 'love'. Prospective parents wonder, "Will I love my child and will he/she love me in return?"

An adoptive parent speaking from the heart

"When we started on the adoption journey, I questioned what type of love I would feel for my daughter. Would it be different from the love of my birth boys, would it be like loving the next door neighbor's kids - what kind of love would it be?" Sue A.

After she adopted her daughter,  Sue found the answer to her questions.

"Now I know what kind of love it is and I would shout it from the mountain tops to everyone if I could. It is the SAME kind of love that I experience with my boys. There is absolutely no difference!

"Yes, I do look at Paige in a different way as she had a history of a birth Mom and a caregiver, who loved her and nurtured her till we arrived. She has faced so much in such her early life, that I can only imagine. But the strong bond that I share with her and the boys is like no other kind of love." Sue A.

As an adoptive parent, one concern which is often brought rather forcefully and sometimes impolitely to our attention is that adoption may be viewed as second best. This attitude may even reflect upon our children, who may be viewed as or may feel less than wonderful, even as second rate themselves.

Table of Contents
1. Choosing Adoption
2. Connecting to adoption
3. Adoption Fears
4. Adoptive parents tell all
5. Blessings of adoption
6. The healing side
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